Cold Storage opens in Western Australia, where there’s panic on the streets after excess debris rains down to Earth from the 1979 Skylab satellite, since a terrestrial fungus was sent up into space, but then mutated and came back.
However, since it was locked away on its return, everything was then fine and the end credits ran… not quite.
Move on some time, and there are things that go beep in the night… the noise coming from a storage containment unit, and whatever’s in there, wants to be let out… And for anyone unsure, storage units are a place where all your old shit goes, since you can’t be bothered to store it at home.
In a film that’s mostly filler, one of the most amusing moments came when a man finds that his cat, which he accidentally shot in the head, has since come back to life, but spears its head on something sharp, and splatters the alien gunk all over any animals and people it can find.
The biggest problem with Cold Storage is that all the good stuff happens in the last 10 mins, with so much of the rest being build-up. And the line from the trailer about Liam Neeson “being ambitious” is nothing to do with the bomb he brings out, but as a throwaway line in an earlier scene. Bugs me when they do stuff like that…
As well as when they waste my time for the preceeding 80 minutes.
One plus is that the film features Lesley Manville (Mr Burton), who wasn’t even mentioned in the trailer, and both she and Neeson were in 2019’s Ordinary Love. I haven’t seen that still, but it’s got to be better than this.
The end credits feature a cover of Don’t Fear The Reaper, and there’s also potential for a sequel at the end, but it’s absolutely bombed, so there won’t be any more. It’s not surprising when I noticed that the audience was surprisingly sparse in showings for week 2. The budget hasn’t been made public, but BoxOfficeMojo stopped counting the receipts at a paltry $3.5m.
Still, at least it’s not as bad as Neeson’s reboot of The Naked Gun.
NOTE: There are no mid- nor post-credits scenes.
Cold Storage is in cinemas now, and is available to pre-order on 4K Blu-ray, Blu-ray and DVD.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 99 minutes
Release date: February 20th 2026
Studio: Studiocanal
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1
Cinema: Odeon Trafford Centre
Rating: 4/10
Director: Jonny Campbell
Screenplay: David Koepp
Producers: David Koepp, Gavin Polone
Novel: David Koepp
Music: Mathieu Lamboley
Cast:
Teacake: Joe Keery
Naomi: Georgina Campbell
Robert Quinn: Liam Neeson
Trini Romano: Lesley Manville
Mary Rooney: Vanessa Redgrave
Dr. Hero Martins: Sosie Bacon
Enos Namatjira: Rob Collins
Griffin: Gavin Spokes
Annie: Clare Holman
Abigail: Ellora Torchia
Mike Snyder: Aaron Heffernan
Wesley Jerabek: Richard Brake
Ironhead: Andrew Brooke
Dr. Friedman: Justin Salinger
The Rev: Darrell D’Silva
Garbage: Lujza Richter
Cuba: Nahel Tzegai
Anthony: Daniel Rigby
Naomi’s Daughter: Valentina Popkova
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.