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Going to Sea in a Sieve The world currently divides into people who think that Danny Baker is a one-off radio broadcasting genius, and those who clearly have no judgement.
As a life-long fan of this inventor of surreal football phone-ins on Radio Five Live, and his own (now late-lamented) treehouse on BBC London, I fall into the former category, and thus anticipated the fabulous Baker boy’s autobiography eagerly.
From the opening cliffhanger story – about his seven-year-old self foolishly trying to prove his bravery by staying in a burning vehicle longer than his pals – the effortless raconteur grips you by the lapels and never lets up. His rat-a-tat-tat delivery skips through his south London childhood with sheer delight, taking in schoolboy japes and blissful family holidays on the Norfolk Broads. And this is all peppered with a constant flow of full-strength, expletive-ridden responses from his father to almost everything.
But the story really takes off when Baker’s chameleon, Zelig-like youth places him front and centre of every bit of popular culture and happening in 1970s London. He quits school instead of getting any qualifications, landing a cushy job in a hip Soho record shop with a clientele as idiosyncratic as its owners. Here he gets chummy with pre-fame Elton John, and glam peacock Marc Bolan literally gives Baker the shirt off his back. He also manages to convince a gullible girlfriend that he’s David Essex’s brother, and seals the gig by getting them into the ‘premiere’ of the star’s new movie, authentically personalising the tickets with some help from a John Bull printing outfit.
The pleasurable anecdotes come thick and fast: taking Blondie’s Debbie Harry shoe-shopping in South Moulton Street; being saved from baying mobs first by Kevin Rowland and later by Jimmy Pursey; getting a first generation video recorder from Hamish McAlpine; genuinely being at the 100 Club for the famous Sex Pistols gig, yet somehow managing not to see them.
His writing and broadcasting career seems to consist of a series of happy accidents, with doors always opening for his genial character. When his old chum, Mark Perry, starts a punk magazine, Sniffin’ Glue, Baker is eagerly stapling issues together and hanging out with the Clash. He’s in the right place at the right time as receptionist and later journalist at the NME, rubbing shoulders with Nick Kent, Tony Parsons and Julie Burchill. Yet such reminiscences sit comfortably alongside tales of the family dog dying or an inside-job neighbourhood burglary going wrong.
Those who have followed the esteemed Tweeter – @prodnose – through his career and his recent battle with cancer (though he hates the word battle), will simply love this unabridged reading in Baker’s trademark perky tones. Those who haven’t yet discovered him are in for a treat – and this is a great place to start.
Recommended.
Audiobook Read by Danny Baker
Unabridged
Publisher: Orion
MP3 download: Running time 19 hours 52 minutes