The Expendables are an elite group of mercenaries,
running around to save hostages like a beefed-up A-Team, with wisecracks to match, led by
Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham) and Yin Yang (Jet Li).
This is shown in the opening scene when they're up against a group of Somali pirates holding people hostage. It
doesn't take a genius to figure out that the pirates will lose and in bloody style. However, at the end of it,
Gunner (Dolph Lundgren) gets a little too overzealous and wants to hang a pirate so they give him his P45
and send him away.
A new assignment comes from Mr a Church (Bruce Willis), but after the film's lead attends, one more man needs to come
to the meeting. The other attendee is Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger), someone Barney used to work with but has
since fallen out. Church tells them there are resources on the island of Vilena, in the Gulf, that his associates are very
interested in. However, General Garza (David Zayas, aka Angel from Dexter, or 'Onng-hell' as Maria
keeps calling him) has stormed in and otherthrown the government who used to run it. At this point, Trench
backs out of the job and Ross makes a wisecrack about him which I'll leave to you enjoy as it really tickled
me, and that's Arnie's cameo done for this movie.
James Munroe (Eric Roberts) is the evil businessman baddie who bankrolls Garza's operation in order to
get the money from the lucrative drugs market, with Paine (Steve Austin) as his henchman. A subtle blend of
Inception and
Memento this is not.
Completing the cast of people I've heard of, Mickey Rourke plays a tattooist called Tool, who looks set to take
Gunner's place in the team, but actually ends up doing very little and turns up in only 2 or 3 brief scenes.
Also making a brief appearance is Charisma Carpenter as Statham's love-interest, Lacy. However, her scenes
could easily have been cut out and you really wouldn't have missed a thing.
Medal for the stupidest scene Award: There's an incredibly bizarre beat-em-up sequence with Stallone and Statham defeating about 10 men, with only a gun
and a knife, despite the fact the baddies have all got automatic rifles and plenty of time to fire of a shot - which
none of them do.
Overall, this is rather a disappointment compared to what I expected. All the big names are here, but rather than group
them up to go kicking up a stink every minute of the movie, there's so many missed opportunities to throw in
wisecracks or simply make use of the cast. I saw the opening scene, with the Somali pirates, before I watched
this and was hoping for 2 hours of that, but no. There's so much plodding, or some sub-standard 'action' along
the way.
Only watch this if you really MUST see everyone who's ever been in an action film cobbled together for a
group outing.
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Presented in the original 2.35:1 theatrical ratio and in 1080p high definition, the picture is sharp and
detailed with no problems whatsoever, allowing you to see every last, gross sinewy twist in Stallone's forehead,
arms and everything else (shudder). Stallone makes fairly good use of the widescreen frame a lot of the time
so it makes for pleasing viewing.
For the record, I'm watching on a Panasonic 37" Plasma screen via a Samsung BD-P1500 Blu-ray player.
