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The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough, trilled Cyndi Lauper back in 1985, but for my first ever viewing of this cult hit – on the big screen for its 40th Anniversary, is she correct?
Jake Fratelli (Robert Davi – The Expendables 3) escapes from jail after faking hanging himself in his cell, which has since led to the BBFC getting all hoity-toity and slapping a warning of “suicide references” on it. It’s not going to encourage anyone to do anything like that.
But once the group of kids, including Mikey (Sean Astin – Toy Soldiers) and his older brother, Brand (Josh Brolin – Deadpool 2), get wind of the late One-Eyed-Willy, and a stack of gold on his pirate ship, the treasure map is required, and X must mark the spot, although they encounter the hideous Sloth (the late John Matuszak) – a disowned member of the Fratelli family – and he tags along for the ride, with what becomes his trademark line, “Hey, you guys!”, copying one of the others, although I forget which one, offhand.
If they do manage to get the cash, though, it’ll stop the Mikey and Brand’s mother, played by the late, great Mary Ellen Trainor (Gail Wallens in both Die Hard AND Ricochet, along with many other famous small roles), from having to sell the house, as the area is being flattened for a golf course.
Given all I’ve heard about The Goonies, I was expecting something special, but it’s more just a mess of set pieces, rather than having a coherent storyline, and goes on way too long at nearly two hours.
However, there are a few cool things of note in this films:
- When anyone comes over to their house, they encounter a Heath-Robinson contraption to open the gate, constructed of a bowling ball along a marble run-type system.
- Chunk tells Brand a lie involving Michael Jackson, but later admits, “Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn’t come over to my house to use the bathroom. But, his sister did!” – Well, Wacko Jacko would’ve been more believable, given how he was a paedophile.
- At one point, Data (Ke Huy Quan – The Electric State) runs around, foiling the baddies like we later saw in Home Alone. Screenwriter Chris Columbus went on to direct both of the first two comedies in the series with Macauley Culkin, so he’s stolen from himself, effectively.
- The baddies are the Fratelli family, but the newspaper headline uses an erroneous apostrophe when it says, “Fratelli’s At It Again”. Good Lord…
- When Mikey’s in the cellar, he exclaims, “I can feel One-Eyed Willy!”… Oo-er, missus!
I’m glad I waited to see this on the big screen, since it never gets shown in a post-watershed slot, just so whether on ITV or Channel 5, it’s subject to censorship, since there’s 15 “shit”s and apparently an f-word. The BBFC state that there is, but since the subtitles in some home format screenings state “look”, it could be either. I’m not sure where it pops up, as it didn’t stand out during the film.
NOTE: There are no mid- or post-credits scenes.
The Goonies is available to buy on 4K Blu-ray, 4K Blu-ray Limited Edition Steelbook, Blu-ray and DVD.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 114 minutes
Release date: July 11th 2025
Studio: 2.39:1 (Anamorphic Panavision)
Cinema: Odeon Trafford Centre
Rating: 5/10
Director: Richard Donner
Producers: Harvey Bernhard, Richard Donner
Screenplay: Chris Columbus
Music: Dave Grusin
Cast:
Mikey: Sean Astin
Brand: Josh Brolin
Chunk: Jeff Cohen
Mouth: Corey Feldman
Andy: Kerri Green
Stef: Martha Plimpton
Data: Ke Huy Quan
Sloth: John Matuszak
Jake: Robert Davi
Francis: Joe Pantoliano
Mama Fratelli: Anne Ramsey
Rosalita: Lupe Ontiveros
Irene Walsh: Mary Ellen Trainor
Mr. Walsh: Keith Walker
Mr. Perkins: Curtis Hanson
Troy: Steve Antin
Sheriff: Paul Tuerpe
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.