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The Mother starts in an FBI Safehouse, in Indiana, where a pregnant Jennifer Lopez is being quizzed by FBI agents, hence the title. I presume her character isn’t almost 54, and expecting to give birth. But then not everyone can be Robert De Niro, still siring a child at 79.
However, because she’s always going to be in danger, the only way to protect the child is to have her adopted far, far away… and not on Tatooine.
Okay, so she’s not that old when giving birth, because the plot moves on 12 years later, and she’s living in the Alaskan forest like Grizzly Adams, and amongst wolves who look like they’ve been killing deer, leaving blood on their own mouths, yet instead, it looks more like they’ve been over-indulging on beetroot.
And then we’re off to Cincinatti, Ohio, where she uses a sniper rifle, but then this lady is not exactly ‘Jane Wick’.
Yes, I keep saying “she”, since ‘the mother’ of the title doesn’t actually have a name for us to use. Everyone else does, but her!
Beyond that, it’s all as implausible and daft as you’d expect, plus lots of running about, and baddies pushing innocent people over for the sake of it. In fact, The Mother is one of those films where the titular individual – who’s considered the least likely to be successful – is the one who’s the most resourceful, and can deal with any baddies trying to bump her off.
Oh, and she has to rescue her daughter, Zoe (Lucy Paez), without the lass realising who she is. Will she figure it out? Well, even the trailer will tell you the answer, but this film isn’t exactly ‘The Usual Suspects‘ when it comes to plotting.
In fact, it’s just so predictable, and all feels very by-the-numbers, without any individual flair given to make it stand out from any other such film. I could ask why those involved in making this don’t begin to think about creating something unique in any way… but then I expect it’s intentionally just cheap filler made for streaming platforms, for people to veg out on the sofa to, after a few bevvies down the pub.
No-one is firing on any cylinders, here, from Ms Lopez to Joseph Fiennes as main baddie Adrian Lovell, who is about as menacing as a gas bill.
And it eventually stutters to a final confrontation, that’ll probably have you kicking the screen in.
The the best bit is when our heroine is teaching Zoe target practice… because in the background, it features the track Roads by Portishead. Oh, and the end credits feature Kate Bush’s This Woman’s Work.
Thanks to our friends at Netflix for the screener prior to release.
The Mother is on Netflix from May 12th, but isn’t yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD.
Check out the trailer below:
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 116 minutes
Release date: May 12th 2023
Studio: Netflix
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1
Score: 3/10
Director: Niki Caro
Producers: Marc Evans, Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, Misha Green, Roy Lee, Jennifer Lopez, Benny Medina, Miri Yoon
Screenplay: Andrea Berloff, Peter Craig, Misha Green
Music: Germaine Franco
Cast:
The Mother: Jennifer Lopez
Zoe: Lucy Paez
FBI Agent Cruise: Omari Hardwick
Adrian Lovell: Joseph Fiennes
Lons: Paul Raci
Hector: Gael García Bernal
Tarantula: Jesse Garcia
Sonya: Yvonne Senat Jones
SAIC Eleanor Williams: Edie Falco
Marcus Stone: Link Baker
Zoe’s adopted Dad: Michael Karl Richards
C-Section Nurs: Mayumi Yoshida
New father: Ryan Cowie
Fed at Zoe’s house: Todd Matthews
Cuban OB/GYN: Yadier Fernandez
Medical Clinic Nurse: Olivia Lucas
Arms dealer: Mehdi Regragui
Exam room doctor: Jay Cardinal Villeneuve
FedEx Worker: Daniel Whittaker
FBI Tip Line (voiceover): Richard Miro
Cuban Cab Driver: Juan Jose Rodriguez Gil
Rental Car Manager: Karl McMillan
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.