The Master of Disguise R1 DVD

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Travis Willock reviews

The Master of Disguise
Distributed by
Columbia Tristar Home Entertainment

    Cover

  • Cert: PG
  • Cat.no: 00635
  • Running time: 80 minutes
  • Year: 2002
  • Pressing: 2003
  • Region(s): 1, NTSC
  • Chapters: 28
  • Sound: Dolby Digital 5.1 (Eng only)
  • Languages: English, French, Spanish
  • Subtitles: English, French, Spanish
  • Fullscreen: 4:3 (you know where this is going)
  • 16:9-Enhanced: No
  • Macrovision: No
  • Disc Format: DVD 9
  • Price: $27.98
  • Extras:Audio Commentary, Alternate and Deleted Scenes, 3 Featurettes,Music Video, Theatrical Trailer

    Director:

      Percy Andelin Blake

Screenplay:

    Dana Carvey and Harris Goldberg

Cast:

    Pistachio: Dana Carvey
    Devlin Bowman: Brent Spiner
    Fabrizzio: James Brolin
    Jennifer: Jennifer Esposito
    Grandfather: Harold Gould

Despite box office revenue, Sony did not have a good 2002.

Not only did they disrespect many fans by releasing some catalogue titles infull frame only and announce that nearly every DVD would later have a specialedtion but the bottom line was that their movies were not that great.Spider-Man:Moderately tolerable,Men in Black II:garbage on every level imaginable,xXx:quite possibly the funniest movie that wasn’t supposed to be funny at all,Mr. Deeds: don’t get me started level ofgarbage. All those turned big profits, especialy Spider-Man, but theywere all machinations of terrible hype. And then this. This THING thatsomehow was labled as entertainment. And what does it go and do? Supriseeveryone by debuting with a $12 million opening. Oh yes folks, it was asad day indeed.

I know what you’re saying. This guy LOVES to make fun of the bad moviesdoesn’t he? I’ll admit it, some movies absolutely were tailor made formy sarcastic remarks that I will throw out when I saw an oppurtune time.Let’s get a few things straight though,

    • 1. this movie was obviously not made for adults
    • 2. Dana Carvey still has my respect, and
    • 3. a few scenes got a laugh out. A laugh as in one.

Master of Disguise tells the story of a Italian servant by the namePistachio who realizes he is one in the line of master disguisists. Whenhis parents are kidnapped he learns the art of disguise from hisgrandfather to save the day. Then for no apparent reason he putzesaround, auditioning for an assistant. While his father changes into”important figures” like Jesse Ventura and Jessica Simpson to stealtimeless objects for a villain played by Brent “should stay as Dataonly” Spiner. Real Academy Award material here folks.

Dana Carvey‘s performance is decent, though. A couple of his charactersprovided a few laughs like Turtle Guy, Terry Suave, and President GeorgeW. Bush. That’s it for quality. Brent Spiner plays a villian that has topass gas every time he laughs and only shows the fact that he shouldstick to playing Data in Star Trek (although his performance inIndependence Dayis memorable). For 80 minutes we are treated to anabysmal story and an ending that must have been conceived five secondsbefore shooting. Now, after watching the garbage that wasBallistic: Ecks vs. Severthis film is solid gold but tarnished completely. Don’t approach without caution.

Warning, Get ready for a rant.

Columbia Tristar has maintained thementality that “if it’s a kids movie it doesn’t deserve to bewidescreen”. They must have thought that kids would have a hard timechoosing. At one time this title was to have a widescreen versionincluded on the disc but was for some reason dropped.

Columbia has beendoing this for a while now, many catalogue titles like Road to Wellvillewere given poor full frame transfers for the sake that Joe Six Packhates the black bars. Educate them for crying out loud! It’s not theirfault they hate widescreen, mount a campaign, pass out flyers at videostores, do something! EVERY film desrves to be in it’s original aspectratio regardless of quality. And to add insult, the back of the boxtouts the stars as appearing in several movies that are not for kidslike Don’t Say a Word andTraffic.This was a widescreen release and Columbia announced it as one but didn’t wantpeople to know until it was already purchased (can’t imagine who those peoplewould be though).

So, … If you haven’t noticed, the transfer is full frame only. Not only is itFOOL frame but it’s a pretty spotty transfer to boot with grainapparent, pixelization evident, and edge enhancement. The score gets ahalf reduction anyway for being full frame but it’s not that great as itis.

Also terrible is the audio. For a 5.1 track there is not much ambienceand a sense of dead air could be heard. I know it sounds like I’m justripping on the disc because it’s not widescreen but I’m being serious.The track just isn’t that loud.

Columbia has provided some extras for the release which are inwidescreen, better watch out because kids apparently can’t stand blackbars.

  • Audio Commentary: By director Perry Blake and Dana Carvey. Of coursethe two never let on about the mockery of a film they have made. Wait aminute, do you think kids could give a hoot about a commentary track?
  • Alternate/ Deleted Scenes: Each scene features a new intro by TurtleGuy! Be still my beating heart. There are 6 total and are presented innon-anamorphic 1.85:1. These scenes add more to the compost heapalthough the alternate ending featuring my favorite superhero CaptainAmerica was watchable.
  • 3 Featurettes: “The Magic of Disguise”, “Identity Crisis”, and “Man ofa Thousand Faces”. All non-anamorphic 1.85:1. Not as much fluff as Iexpected.
  • Music Video: M.A.S.T.E.R. Part 2. Terrible song to a terrible movie. ‘Nuff said.
  • Theatrical Trailers: Master of Disguise (anamorphic 1.85:1), Kermit’sSwamp Years (full frame), and Little Secrets (non-anamorphic 1.85:1).

The only thing worth watching is the Captain America alternate ending,the featurettes are only for those who like the movie and most willprobably not.

Packaging is amaray featuring a decent theatrical poster for its cover.The menus are animated and are anamorphic to add further insult toinjury. The film is split into 28 chapters.

The Master of Disguise is a bad movie. Not the worst movie of 2002 (thatgoes to Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever) but pretty close. Columbia would haveprovided a decent disk if the feature were in widescreen but to noavail. It would still be a bad movie though.

FILM CONTENT
PICTURE QUALITY
SOUND QUALITY
EXTRAS


OVERALL
Review copyright © Travis Willock, 2003.

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