Can You Keep A Secret? Can I? Well, you might want to with this new series that attempts to put a light spin on a ‘Canoe Man‘-type story, and fails miserably.
Debbie Fendon’s (Dawn French – Coraline 3D) son, Harry (Craig Roberts – The Double, Submarine), is rather upset because his Dad has died, even though between them, they’ve just pretended until the insurance money came through, hence why she has a stack of cash in a holdall, as well as the fact that the deceased, William (Mark Heap – Piglets), has just emerged from the upstairs loft, very much alive.
This is something that Harry’s going to have to keep a secret from his wife, Neha (Mandip Gill – Cooper And Fry), though, because she’s a cop, and is busy in the process of arresting a man for regularly putting petrol pumps up his backside.
In what’s meant to have some comedy thrown in, it’s all played way too obvious in that respect, such as a flashback to how it happened, with their doctor having an OTT health anxiety, still wearing Face Shields on house calls, along with a hazmat suit. But she’s also so crap that the gave Debbie a death certificate when he was simply fast asleep.
Add in some bad writing such as explaining he’s “hiding in the loft like a geriatric Anne Frank”, and tripping up on words with mistaken sayings, such as “When life gives you lemonade…”; and then the crudeness about how William regularly wets himself in supermarkets. Erm…
Can You Keep I Secret? feels like it was recorded in front of a studio audience, but no-one laughed at moments that were meant to be even slightly humourous. This is just dire. I’d even rather watch one of Dawn French’s Marks and Spencer’s adverts again. At least they’re shorter.
One mystery, though: Why do the end credits list everyone BUT the main cast? Netflix do that as well. It’s weird. The end credits are for ALL the end credits!
One plus side: They watch Border Force Australia… so do I. Other things I’ve enjoyed are the two films listed under Craig Roberts’ name. Watch those, instead.
Thanks to our friends at BBC for the screeners prior to release.
Can You Keep I Secret? begins tonight on BBC1 at 9.30pm.
It’s not yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD, but when it is, it will be listed on the New DVD, Blu-ray, 3D and 4K releases UK page.
Once broadcast, the episodes will be on BBC iPlayer.
Director: Simon Hynd
Producers: Lauriel Martin, Joe Scantlebury
Writer/Creator: Simon Mayhew-Archer
Cast:
Debbie Fendon: Dawn French
William Fendon: Mark Heap
Harry Fendon: Craig Roberts
Neha Fendon: Mandip Gill
Billie Coddingtgon: Shola Adewusi
Pigfish: Gregory Gudgeon
PC Susan Hinkman: Sam Battersbea
Pamela Anderson: Geraldine McNulty
Dr Samira Harper: Mona Goodwin
Marcus Marsden: Adam Drake
Jean Cotterill: Heather Seymour
Rachel Pecker: Tracy Graham
Clive Trunge: Paul Chahidi
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.