Pets On A Train has the title – in some countries – of Falcon Express, but harking back to Samuel L Jackson’s Snakes on a Plane, from 2006, is a far better alternative, and also …
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Category: Cinema films
My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of GOOD BOY!
Good Boy is this year’s horror movie made on a shoestring budget, and which has done very well for its mere $750,000 budget, so far taking $7m at the box office after just over two …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of BLACK PHONE 2!
Black Phone 2 opens in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, in 1957, where a particular character is having to make a desperate call on a payphone, before we move in to North Denver, 1982, with …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of AFTER THE HUNT!
After The Hunt is an expert experience of dysfunctional dullness. It mostly centres around philosophy lecturer Alma (Julia Roberts– Leave The World Behind), teaching at Yale University and giving boring dinner parties, alongside colleague Hank …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of GOOD FORTUNE!
Good Fortune brings us Keanu Reeves (Constantine) as guardian angel Gabriel, whose job it is to stop humans from having an accident due to texting while driving. Yes, that’s a job. But for him, it’s …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of CONSTANTINE! (20th Anniversary)
Constantine… John Constantine… I never saw the film when it first came out in 2005, but did play the awful videogame on Xbox, which didn’t even use the likeness, nor voice, of Keanu Reeves! Dom …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of I SWEAR!
I Swear is a new film which thankfully avoids the awful 1994 dirge, popularised by All-4-One, which was difficult to avoid when it got to No.2 for SEVEN WEEKS! Still, I managed to successfully dash …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of TRON ARES in IMAX 3D!
TRON: Ares opens, not with a narration from the ever-missing Flynn (Jeff Bridges – Hell Or High Water), but an intro in the form of a clip from a 1982 TV interview which didn’t happen …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of THE WOMAN IN CABIN 10 on NETFLIX!
The Woman In Cabin 10 is set on a boat, but everyone’s taking a busman’s holiday for this outing. Laura Blacklock (Keira Knightley – Black Doves) is a highly-respected journalist who covers big stories, and …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of THE SMASHING MACHINE!
The Smashing Machine is a drama-documentary starring normally-doing-action-films Dwayne Johnson (a former WWE fighter) as former UFC fighter Mark Kerr, and takes place from 1997 to 2000, starting with Kerr’s first ever UFC fight, in …
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