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Danny Dyer’s Right Royal Family shows that if you going to make a documentary, these days, it HAS to have the name of the presenter included, as if viewers are so thick that they not only must be led to water, but also forced to drink it.
Danny Dyer hosts, obviously, this two-part series following his discovery on Who Do You Think You Are?, that he’s directly related to King Edward III, who lived from 1312-1377, and who ruled from 1327 until his death.
He begins with King Rollo, who was around in 846 AD, declaring, “I do feel like I need to get Viking’d out of my brain”, although I remember King Rollo from the BBC cartoon series in the ’80s. An expert tells him, “He was certainly a bad-ass from the moment he could speak”, so that appeals to Dyer.
It’s quite grim when he splits apart a sheep’s head with an axe, while flies crawl all over it, but again, he’s trying to recreate the way Vikings lived and as he adds, “A bit of French mustard wouldn’t go amiss”, but after eating some of it, he admits, “Let’s get involved in something which ain’t gonna make me spew me ring up, eh?”
Mr Dyer also goes hunting boar like a Norman lord (well, pretending to hunt), he wears a robe of piss like Frances’ King Louis IX, he claimsm to attempt to live like his ancestors, albeit using modern language like “Have some of tha’!”; and whenever he talks to anyone about his new-found status, he always sounds like he’s about to give them the mafia kiss of death.
Danny Dyer’s Right Royal Family concludes next Wednesday on BBC1 at 9pm, but is not yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD.
You can watch each episode on BBC iPlayer for 30 days after transmission.
Episode 1 Score: 3/10
Director: Sue Hills
Producer: Anna Kirkwood
Sound: Sam Diamond
Presenter: Danny Dyer
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.