Skip to content
This weekend there are nine new films out for you to choose from: an adult Marvel action movie in Deadpool, comedy horror in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, re-released animation for 1999’s The Iron Giant, alleged comedy in Zoolander 2, Will Smith annoyed-at-no-Oscar-nomination in Concussion, two-year-delayed horror from Eli Roth in The Green Inferno, children’s comedy in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip, one the children will ignore in Jem and the Holograms, and a drama for everyone to ignore in A Bigger Splash.
Deadpool is yet another superhero movie, but while I’m kinda getting tired of these coming out every month or two, there’s a lot to enjoy in this, showing that this isn’t just going to be another 12A-certificate pile of crap like Ant-Man.
I know, it has the downside that Ryan Reynolds playing the titular character, but it also stars Morena Baccarin, Gina Carano (Haywire), TJ Miller (Transformers: Age Of Extinction) and Ed Skrein, even if The Transporter Refuelled stank.
Based upon Marvel Comics’ most unconventional anti-hero, Deadpool tells the origin story of former Special Forces operative turned mercenary Wade Wilson, who after being subjected to a rogue experiment that leaves him with accelerated healing powers, adopts the alter ego Deadpool. Armed with his new abilities and a dark, twisted sense of humor, Deadpool hunts down the man who nearly destroyed his life.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies does exactly what it says on the tin, taking Jane Austen‘s classic novel… and adding zombies!!
Austen’s classic tale of the tangled relationships between lovers from different social classes in 19th century England is faced with a new challenge – an army of undead zombies.
This new movie boasts a strong cast of Lena Headey, Lily James, Matt Smith, Jack Huston, Douglas Booth, Charles Dance, Sam Riley, Suki Waterhouse, Hermione Corfield, Bella Heathcote, Dolly Wells, Emma Greenwell, Aisling Loftus, Ellie Bamber and Sally Phillips. It’s also written for the screen by Burr Steers, and rather loosely based on the Jane Austen nov… nah, it’s not at all, is it?
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
The Iron Giant has been re-released in cinemas and tells the tale of a 9-year-old boy Hogarth Hughes (Eli Marienthal) who makes friends with an innocent alien giant robot that came from outer space. Naturally, the US govt don’t see it that way and want to blow him up. Their agent, Kent Mansley (Christopher McDonald), arrives in town, determined to destroy the giant at all costs. It’s up to Hogarth to protect him by keeping him at Dean McCoppin’s (Harry Connick Jr) place in the junkyard.
The film is directed by Brad Bird (Tomorrowland: A World Beyond, The Incredibles) and also features the vocal talents of Jennifer Aniston, James Gammon, Cloris Leachman, John Mahoney, M Emmet Walsh and Vin Diesel as The Iron Giant, and the brilliantly-named (and obviously fake) Rodger Bumpass.
I wasn’t into The Iron Giant this first time it came out, but I definitely want to see this as it looks different from the usual animated fare. Note that the film is shot in 2.35:1 but this trailer is in 16:9, and you can see the panning and scanning. I hate that. Why didn’t they make a 2.35:1 trailer?
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Zoolander 2. It’s still coming. There’s really no escape. Am I the only one who just didn’t get it first time round??
Derek (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson) are modelling again when an opposing company attempts to take them out from the business, such is the synopsis.
Also caught up in this mess is Olivia Munn, Will Ferrell, Christine Taylor, Kristen Wiig, Penélope Cruz, Kim Kardashian West (not just Kim Kardashian, these days!), her husband Kanye West, plus Billy Zane, Justin Bieber, and tax dodger Lewis Hamilton.
At least there’s a slight plus in that it involves the murder of high profile popsters like Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus! Hurrah! There’s also Usher, but does anyone remember him?
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
Concussion now has a second trailer out, but it still feels like what I’d need to force myself to go and see this dross starring Will Smith as Dr Bennet Omalu, an apparently true David vs Goliath story of the brilliant forensic neuropathologist who made the first discovery of CTE, a football-related brain trauma, in a pro player.
So, like any American football- or baseball-themed movie, it’ll have little interest to the UK market.
The trailer plays out like a re-run of Enemy of the State, but played for serious, as he runs about with a cast including Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Alec Baldwin, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Eddie Marsan, Stephen Moyer, Luke Wilson, David Morse, Arliss Howard and Albert Brooks.
Concussion is out now and you’d need to have a brain injury to make you see it… oh, I made that joke already, and last time, too. I probably have a brain injury. If you want one, too, you can find out more from the official website. Then again, when was the last time Will Smith made a decent film? Probably Enemy of the State, itself.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
The Green Inferno is a new horror from Eli Roth, who directs, co-writes and co-produces as a group of student activists who travel from New York City to the Amazon to save the rainforest. However, once they arrive in this vast green landscape, they soon discover that they are not alone – and that no good deed goes unpunished…
There’s no-one particularly famous in the cast, which includes Lorenza Izzo, Ariel Levy, Daryl Sabara, Kirby Bliss Blanton and Sky Ferreira, but everyone onscreen looks like they hold their own and it certainly looks worth a watch.
And, well, I say a ‘new’ horror, but it’s been trailered for almost two years. Doesn’t bode well.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip proves that like a cold sore, some things just won’t go away…
After the 2007 original Alvin and the Chipmunks, then the 2009 Squeakquel, and the third film in 2011, Chipwrecked, just when you thought it was safe to go back into the cinema…
Through a series of misunderstandings, Alvin (Justin Long), Simon (Matthew Gray Gubler) and Theodore (Jesse McCartney) come to believe that Dave (Jason Lee) is going to propose to his new girlfriend in New York City… and dump them. They have three days to get to him and stop the proposal, saving themselves not only from losing Dave but possibly from gaining a terrible stepbrother.
Also featuring Bella Thorne and Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting (albeit in voice only, as Eleanor), this series will no doubt run and run…
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
Jem and the Holograms is centered around the preposterously-named Jerica (Aubrey Peeples), a small-town girl, catapulted from singing in her bedroom to global superstar as her friend puts her warbling up on Youtube, leading to her and her three sisters going on a JOURNEY (yes, that word), discovering that some talents are too special to keep hidden…
It also stars Juliette Lewis as Simon Cowell, Ryan Guzman as Louis Walsh and Molly Ringwald as Mel B.
Brought to you from the people responsible for Pitch Perfect, and other similar dross like… erm… Justin Bieber: Never Say Never, the USA got this last October, but we’ve been spared until now.
If you’re wondering where it all came from, it was spawned from the animated TV series Jem, which ran from 1985-1988.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
A Bigger Splash: the lives of a high profile couple, a famous rock star and a filmmaker, (Tilda Swinton and Matthias Schoenaerts) vacationing and recovering on the idyllic sun-drenched and remote Italian island of Pantelleria are disrupted by the unexpected visit of an old friend and his daughter (Ralph Fiennes and Dakota Johnson) – creating a whirlwind of jealousy, passion and, ultimately, danger for everyone involved.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.