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Dan Owen reviews
P a r t F o u r
George Lucas’ Star Wars ‘prequilogy’ continued with Star Wars Episode II- Attack Of The Clones; a more entertaining venture into ILM wonderland,cruelly let-down (again) by a mediocre Lucas screenplay. Thetechnicalities of the film managed to impress those who love theirspectacle big, the near-absence of Jar Jar Binks nipped fanboy rants inthe bud, and drunken discussions debating the outcome of a Yoda Vs Neofistfight ensued. A flawed guilty pleasure. 
The tiny mouse Stuart Little returned for the imaginatively titledStuart Little 2, now with a feathered girlfriend (voice by MelanieGriffith). Another fun adventure for the kids with some excellentspecial-effects for Stuart himself, voiced to perfection by Michael J.Fox. Cute harmless fun, although lacking the original’s smartscreenplay.
With best-friend Matt Damon turning into an unlikely action hero withThe Bourne Identity, Ben Affleck jumped straight into the genre with TheSum Of All Fears. The film was another Tom Clancy adaptation starringthe Jack Ryan character previously portrayed by Harrison Ford, whodecided not to star. The movie performed adequately at the box-office,but the lure of Affleck as action-man just wasn’t enough. Either that,or everyone realized the trailer gave the whole plot away!
Reese Witherspoon is being primed as the next Julia Roberts followingher enjoyable performance in Legally Blonde. Let’s hope she’s not thenext Alicia Silverstone as seems more befitting. The ‘Spoon had a truesmash-hit this year with Sweet Home Alabama, a rom-com with plenty ofvacuous moments and touchy-feely good vibes. The Americans loved itssappy tones, the Brits avoided like the plague.
Films don’t disappoint quite as annoyingly as The Time Machine asecond film adaptation of the H.G Wells novel. Guy Pearce played thelove-sick Professor who builds a time-machine to stop the murder of hisfiancée (as you do) only to wind up 40,000 years in the future fightingcannibal Morlocks from Samantha Mumba’s species of Eloi. Directed byH.G’s grandson Simon, the project was cursed from the start. JohnLogan’s script was solid – but a post-9/11 world demanded the omissionof a key sequence that saw New York destroyed. The Morlock creatureswere shoddy throwbacks to 80’s animatronics, and Jeremy Irons’ villainhad less screen time than the film’s trailer! Overall, a waste of time,and better suited as a TV-movie.
Nicolas Cage didn’t have much luck this year. His months-old marriage toLisa-Marie Presley ended in divorce, his dreams of starring as asuperhero further diminished, and he also starred in another of JohnWoo’s sadly multiplying cinematic turkeys. Windtalkers was to have beena kinetic tale of friendship set against the backdrop of World War II.It became this year’s Pearl Harbor. Woo’s style is at-odds with theperiod setting, Cage looks lost, and the action sequences aresurprisingly tame. Must try harder, Woo. Someone give the man back histwin-guns and slow-motion playback.
The name’s Diesel. Vin Diesel. xXx marked the supposed birth of the NextAction Hero – with slap-head Vin Diesel having great fun trying toout-Bond 007 in Rob Cohen’s preposterous marriage of espionage andextreme sports. Hardly the Hollywood-hyped threat 007 fans feared (thankGod) mainly because it offered nothing new beyond its OTT stunts. Still,solid entertainment for those wanting pure visceral thrills with theirpopcorn.
THE Best Action Sequence Of 2002
The nerve-jangling Helm’s Deep onslaught in The Two Towers. CGI hasnever been so effectively employed. George Lucas take note.
THE Best Newcomer Of 2002
Jake Gyllenhaal for Donnie Darko. An immediate star. Impressive,evocative, talented… you were just drawn to the screen.
THE Man of 2002
Tobey Maguire. Maguire has been around for years, but only foundmainstream success and fame with his accomplished performance as PeterParker in Spider-Man. A potentially dumb film was raised a notch orthree by Maguire’s sensitive portrayal of a well-meaning everyman.
THE Woman of 2002
Halle Berry. Fresh from Oscar success (the first black woman to receivea Best Actress Award – for Monster’s Ball), Berry proved herself one ofthe best Bond Girls of recent times in Die Another Day.
THE Best Special Effects of 2002
Gollum for The Two Towers. The best CGI character ever created.Expressive, emotive, expertly realized and given life by actor AndySerkis. A sterling effort and a landmark for special-effects.
THE Kiss of 2002
Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst for Spider-Man. Every teen’s wet dream:you’re given superpowers, you save the city from danger, then you get tokiss a wet-shirted Kirsten Dunst (upside-down).
THE Best Line of 2002
“With great power comes great responsibility. This is my gift, my curse.Who am I? I’m Spider-Man!” – Tobey Maguire, Spider-Man
THE Best Moment of 2002
Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi lay defeated on the ground at thefeet of Count Dooku, Anakin’s hand sliced clean off by a lightsabre.Just as it looks as if Dooku will make his escape, who should comeshuffling into the room? Yoda. The best screen fight of the year is thenplayed out to crowd-pleasing results. It could have been funny. Well, itIS funny. But funny in a cool way.
THE Best Mystery of 2002
Sadly not the plot of Scooby Doo, but the plot for Mulholland Drive.Just when you think you’ve got a handle on the film, the last Actarrives. Startlingly brilliant and bizarre, yet with the a surreal kindof drippy logic…
THE Sequel of 2002
The Two Towers. Not quite as good as Fellowship due to its limitationsas a middle film, but still a supremely confident return to Middle Earthblessed with better effects and more rousing and memorable moments.
THE Disappointment of 2002
Panic Room. Still a very good movie, but expectation in the wake ofDavid Fincher’s master-class of movie-making Fight Club left audiences(and particularly fans) wanting so much more thrills…
THE Biggest Scare of 2002
Signs. Mel Gibson. Alone. Corn field. Torch. Alien… oooh…
THE Biggest Laugh of 2002
Austin Powers In Goldmember. Austin infiltrates Dr Evil’s sub with thehelp of Mini-Me, by standing on the tiny clone’s shoulders wearing along trenchcoat. Then they’re questioned by a henchman and given amedical examination…
THE Best Trailer of 2002
It has to be Spider-Man. Fresh, vibrant and funny. It also helped thatit had fantastic backing music… and what a killer final line that’Superman’ jibe was! Excellent work that appeased critics that directorSam Raimi could handle such a big project.
THE Film of 2002
In reverse order, starting at #10:
- 10. Road To Perdition
09. Blade II
08. Signs
07. Minority Report
06. Die Another Die
05. Harry Potter & The Chamber Of Secrets
04. Spider-Man
03. Mulholland Drive
02. Donnie Darko
01. The Lord Of The Rings The Two Towers
And so onward to 2003. A year that should see the superhero moviedominate the box-office in the wake of Spider-Man with Daredevil, TheHulk, X-Men 2, League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and two Matrix sequelsto look forward to. If you thought 2002 was big business, just imaginethe combined takings of those beauties!
Then we have the return of Tarantino with Kill Bill, which also ensures2003 will also be remembered for martial-arts as it joins the ranks ofthe aforementioned Matrix sequels and Tom Cruise’s The Last Samurai,.
Sequels are well-catered for (as always), with… deep breath… Matrix2, Matrix 3 (have I mentioned those?), the final Lord Of The Rings epicat Christmas, Dirty Dancing 2, Jeepers Creepers 2, Final Destination 2,Terminator 3, Bad Boys 2, Charlie’s Angels 2, Shanghai Knights, FreddyVs Jason, Tomb Raider II, Legally Blonde 2, Jungle Book 2 and AmericanPie 3! Phew!
And the post-Phantom Menace vogue for prequels? Yes, with Dumb &Dumberer and Exorcist The Beginning. So there.
See? Same-old-same-old…
Till next year then!
Happy New Year!
Dan Owen
Page Content copyright © Dan Owen, 2003.
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Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.