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Dan Owen reviews
P a r t F o u r
Blade Trinity heralded the end of the vampire-bashing trilogy, andunfortunately it went out not with a bang, but with a whimper. Writer DavidGoyer, who wrote the prior movies, settled into the director’s chair – withlacklustre results. The plot, about vampires resurrecting Dracula was silly,the martial-arts old-hat compared to Flying Daggers, and the addition of newass-kicking characters just screamed spin-off sell-out. It also didn’t helpthat Snipes seemed to be sleepwalking through his monosyllabic role. A sadend for a trilogy with two excellent predecessors.
The Phantom Of The Opera has been a musical smash hit for years now -in fact it’s amassed a $3 billion fortune that makes even Titanic haul looklike a low-budget affair! So, a movie has been long overdue, and it arrivedcourtesy of Joel Schumacher. The production is handsome and the actors areall very good, although for some reason the whole enterprise just never reallyflies as it should.
Finally, Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events breezed intocinemas for Christmas. Based on a series of children’s novellas, this starredJim Carrey as the villainous Count Olaf, a master-of-disguise who attempts tosnatch a family fortune from two young relatives after their parents die in afire. An entertaining children’s movie with some dark sequences – all withthe air of The Addams Family, particularly in terms of the gothic set-designand anarchic streak.
So what will 2005 bring? Well, Jennifer Garner tries her best to get typecastas an action heroine in the Daredevil spin-off Elektra, John Carpenter’sclassic Assault On Precinct 13 is glossily remade, Keanu Reeves delvesinto the occult with Constantine and unwanted sequel Son Of The Maskwill piss all over the Jim Carrey original.
Wes Craven returns with post-modern teen werewolf shocker Cursed, JohnTravolta belated returns as Chili Palmer in Get Short sequel Be Cool, aRay Bradbury time-travel adventure story is brought to cinemas as A Sound OfThunder and Samara continues to scare the shit out of everyone in The Ring 2.
Robert Rodriguez delivers a star-studded and stylish comic-book noir in theform of Sin City, a classic shocker is remade in Amityville Horror,Ice Cube replaces Vin Diesel for XXX State Of The Union and Ridley Scottreturns to history for Kingdom Of Heaven.
Douglas Adams’ celebrated sci-fi comedy finally gets the big-screen treatmentin Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, George Lucas completes his prequeltrilogy with Star Wars Episode III, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt heat upthe screen in action thriller Mr & Mrs Smith and Christian Bale willstep into the cowl in Batman Begins.
Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise fight aliens in War Of The Worlds,legendary comic-book franchise Fantastic Four will be unleashed, classicTV sitcom Bewitched is adapted for the big-screen with Nicole Kidmanand Tim Burton serves up Charlie & The Chocolate Factory with JohnnyDepp.
Ewan MacGregor headlines Michael Bay thriller The Island, The Dukes OfHazzard blast into cinemas, futuristic comedy 3001 is released andclassic video-game Doom finally becomes reality, starringBourne Supremacy‘s Karl Urban.
Rob Schneider’s cult hit Deuce Bigelow get a sequel with Deuce Bigelow EuropeanGigolo, Steve Martin steps into Peter Sellers’ shoes as Inspector Clouseauin Birth Of The Pink Panther, Antonio Banderas returns for belated sequelLegend Of Zorro and axed TV show Firefly gets a movie with Serenity.
The Rock arrives as Spy Hunter, claymation heroes Wallace & Gromitget their own movie, The Fog becomes the second John Carpenter remakeof the year and George Romero continues his legendary zombie saga withLand Of The Dead
CGI animation returns with Cars, Harry Potter continues his educationwith Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire, Terry Gilliam brings us thewhimsical fantasy Brothers Grimm and The Chronicles Of Narniaattempts to become the next Lord Of The Rings franchise.
Unwanted vampire sequel Underworld 2 is released, Peter Jackson returnsto movies with a remake of King Kong, The Producers is remadeafter the success of the stage musical, Zathura arrives as a sci-fiversion of Jumanji, Mel Gibson returns to acting in Mad Max Fury Roadand Bruce Willis plays hard-boiled cop John McClane yet again for Die Hard 4:Die Hardest.
So… something for everyone then!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Page Content copyright © Dan Owen, 2004.
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Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.