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Dan Owen reviews
2 0 0 5 R e t r o s p e c t i v eP a r t T w o
JULYSteven Spielberg is the master of summer blockbusters (heck, the createdthe genre with Jaws) but War Of The Worlds, like Mr & Mrs Smith, wasovershadowed by its star’s sex life (in this case a sofa-hopping Tom Cruiseproclaiming undying love to girlfriend Katie Holmes). Spielberg’s modernretelling of H.G Wells’ novel is a sporadically successful movie, butultimately fails thanks to a schmaltzy ending, lazy narration by MorganFreeman and a rushed third act. Still, when it worked it worked incrediblywell – the opening attack of an alien Tripod is spine-tinglingly effective andrealistic.
Marvel comics continues their annual battle for superhero supremacy (but lostout, badly, to DC’s latest Batman) with Fantastic Four. The comic’s adifficult one to adapt – as it’s the most comedic and family-friendly of thesuperhero franchises, which is at odds with the downbeat realism of Batmanand the teen angst of Spider-Man. However, while the film was criticallysavaged it did great business and a sequel is already planned.
Tim Burton put the ghost of Planet Of The Apes firmly behind him withCharlie & The Chocolate Factory, another solid effort to sit alongsideBig Fish. Did someone push his quality control switch? It’s more likely thathaving his muse (Johnny Depp) cast as chocolatier Willy Wonka made thedifference. An excellent translation of Roald Dahl’s classic novel.
AUGUSTMichael Bay failed to set the summer box office alight with his latestoffering, The Island. It starred Ewan MacGregor and new hot propertyScarlett Johannsen, but that didn’t stop audienced being somewhat underwhelmedby the Logan’s Run style plot – about an island of clones grown to medicallyaid their real-world counterparts. Still, the movie is still brainlessentertainment with some typically OTT Bay moments.
Yeehaw! The Dukes Of Hazzard has finished. The outtakes at the end proveinfinitely more entertaining than the movie. Good casting, promising trailer…but it shoots itself in the foot thanks to two issues – 1, not enoughJessica Simpson and 2, it’s not funny.
SEPTEMBERA cult landmark arrived in the shuffling undead form of Land Of The Dead– the fourth in George A Romero’s zombie saga. While Romero is undoubtedlythe godfather of the modern zombie movie, he remains a cult figure only – asproven by poor box office takings. Still, despite a squandering of somepotentially intetesting facets to the premise, it has done well enough onDVD to secure a fifth installment…
On an entirely different note, Jane Austen’s classic opus Pride & Prejudicearrived in the Autumn with Keira Knightley in a role she was surely born toplay. If you need a pretty English role who looks good in a corset, look nofurther. The movie performed well, despite some critical grumblings in thedirection of Matthew McFadden’s Mr Darcy.
OCTOBERForget Keira Knightley, real British superstars dominated the October boxoffice with their first feature-film adventure. Yes, Wallace & Gromit InThe Curse Of The Were-Rabbit became Aardman Animation’s belated follow-uptoChicken Run‘ssuccess and went on to great success the world over. Even a fire thatdestroyed the studio’s archive of characters and sets couldn’t melt W&G.
A disappointing outing for Night Watch – the 2004 Russian film thatmade no dent in the UK box office despite underground fervour. Well, blamethe marketing. The movie itself isn’t as wonderful as fans will have youthink, but it’s an interesting blend of US action movies likeThe Matrixand The Lord Of The Rings thrown into a suburban Russian setting.Yes, there are some great visual moments, but the plot remains impenetrable towardsthe end. I hope the Russian sequels iron out the kinks and that theUS-funded remakes do the premise justice.
Ever cursed when your favourite US TV show gets cancelled because itsdomestic audience fail to appreciate its delights? Step forward all youAmerican Gothic, Carnivale, Space Above & Beyond and Firefly fans. Well,good news for Firefly’s fans anyway, when Josh Whedon’s cancelled sci-fiseries became a rollicking adventure called Serenity. Not to everyone’staste perhaps, but there’s a certain spirit and zest to Whedon’s creationlacking in recent Star Trek and Star Wars outings…
Lord Of War deserved better. Nicholas Cage impresses as a gun-runnerwho reconsiders his nerfarious arms-dealing days in Andrew Niccol’s witty,satirical drama. From the writer of The Truman Show and Gattaca, you expectquality, and this delivers.
A surprise hit last year was Saw, so exactly a year later a fast-trackedsequel found its way to multiplexes in the lazily entitled Saw II.More ghoulish games, gross deaths, torturous decisions and a (disappointing)twist ending. No classic, but effective in short bursts.
A double-whammy for Tim Burton this year, as his animated The Corpse Bridepulls in respectable business. Somewhat overshadowed by Wallace & Gromit, andnot as good as The Nightmare Before Christmas, but still solid black comedyfor kiddies.
NOVEMBERThe boy wizard returned to Hogwarts for a fourth year in Harry Potter &The Goblet Of Fire – with Harry embroiled in a Tri-Wizard Tournament thatwill lead him to confront the evil Lord Voldemort. Mike Newell ensures abrisk entry, full of teenaged angst and magical visuals. Goblet could wellbe the best Potter adventure yet, but will audiences flock to see altogetherless impressive Order Of The Phoenix next time? DECEMBERAn epic fantasy for kids arrived – aiming to dominate the Christmas boxoffice for a good few years to come; with The Chronicles Of Narnia – TheLion, The Witch & The Wardrobe. Think The Lord Of The Rings for theunder-10s. Some great special effects and decent acting saves the day, butoverall the movie lacks the scope and nasty bite it should have had to appealto a wider audience.
Peter Jackson returned to reclaim the Christmas box office, post-Lord Of TheRings, with a remake of his childhood favourite King Kong. In a stunningdisplay of directorial muscle, Jackson’s remake was quite rightly lauded byaudiences and critics alike – stunning effects, gorgeous scenery, fantasticacting and a sense of adventure that’s breathtaking to watch.
So, there ends another movie-going year. Historial epics were given thebrush off (Alexander, Kingdom Of Heaven), superheroes split audiences (BatmanBegins – good, Fantastic Four – bad), and Christmas continued to outshinesummer blockbuster season with the quality of Harry Potter, Narnia andKing Kong.
Next year, X-Men 3 and Superman Returns fight it out forsuperhero supremacy and Tom Cruise returns for a third “impossible” missionin, er, Mission Impossible III. See you at the movies!
2005 Retrospective Part OnePage Content copyright © Dan Owen, 2005.
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Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.