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Dan Owen reviews
I s s u e # 7 30 9 J a n u a r y 2 0 0 4
Welcome to the first issue of 2004! I’m sure this is going to be anotheryear of (potentially) great movies, such as: Spider-Man 2, Sky Captain &The World Of Tomorrow, Hellboy, Thunderbirds, Scooby Doo 2, Kill BillVolume II, Van Helsing, Chronicles Of Riddick, Garfield, The Village,Troy, Son Of The Mask, Harry Potter & The Prisoner Of Azkaban, ResidentEvil 2, Alien Vs Predator, and many more…
Enjoy!
LEON 2Rumours have begun that Jet Li may star in a sequel to Luc Besson’s Leon(aka The Professional), which starred Jean Reno, a young Natalie Portmanand Gary Oldman.
Well, now Natalie Portman has addressed some of the rumours, telling’People’ magazine that the project is a possibility: “When [Star Wars]Episode III finishes? I don’t know. To tell you the truth, I’d like tojust relax for a while. Kick back with some friends. If anything, itmight be something with Luc Besson; a follow-up to a film I did when Iwas younger called Leon.”
“The script’s really great, and near worth delaying a vacation for. Theonly problem would be that I would have to hit the gym again – and atthe moment I can’t even envision tying my own laces up.”
BONDThe ‘Chicago Sun-Times’ interviewed Ewan MacGregor about continuingspeculation that he may become the next James Bond: “I think about thisthe same way I thought about the rumours that I might do Star Wars. Ialways said with that one, too, that I’d have to wait and see if theyreally wanted me and how I felt about it at the time.”
“What would worry me about Bond is that it does seem to require anenormous commitment in the same way that Star Wars doesn’t because thosemovies were so far apart, whereas Bond seems to be closer together…”
“I also notice Pierce Brosnan spending a lot of the year promoting Bondfilms. So, I would worry about that because I’d have less time to doother films.”
VAN HELSINGThe first photos of Dracula’s three brides have been released (seeright), together with a poster of Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing himself.(see below-right) KILL BILL – VOLUME II’The Quentin Tarantino Archives’ has revealed that a new teaser trailerfor Kill Bill Volume II will debut online very soon, but that themovie’s release is likely to be pushed back from 20 February.
KillBill.jp(the official Japanese website) has a Volume II traileralready up – subtitled The Love Story.
Volume II is rumoured to be released on 16 April now – a date mentionedby star Uma Thurman herself.
PREDATOR 3Arnold Schwarzenegger has revealed tentative plans to resume his moviecareer, but in a much smaller capacity.
He also spoke of plans for a third Predator movie, saying: “The studiohas wanted a third one for quite some years. It didn’t interest becausewhat was appealing to me about this films I did after was that I had achance to play a totally regular guy, the way I am at home with myfamily… where if there’s a problem, they don’t just come in like asteamroller and say ‘I’m action man, I can take care of job’.”
“I like the family men; I like characters close to myself. I alwaysenjoyed movies where you see a little more about the person… I thinkmaybe more so now than maybe 15 years ago, because we change… fifteenyears ago, I was looking forward to ‘How big is the explosion?’ and theaction, and how many people do you wipe out?”
“The studio [Fox] are talking about doing a third Predator movie andanother Alien movie after they see how the new Alien versus the Predatormovie does go. We shall see then. If it reads good, and time allows, Icould always do a smaller appearance. That would be fun. From what Ihear, The Rock is going to star in it if it ever happens – and a newTerminator possibility – which he should, he is fantastic. He’s a greatactor, a fun presence to watch. Fantastic. We could share the screensometime possibly.”
THE VILLAGEThis is the new title for Sixth Sense creator M. Night Shyamalan’slatest movie – previously known as The Woods.
TRAILERSTroyOooh, oooh! I did this at school! The Trojan Horse, right?
Exactly. The famous historical story finally gets a Hollywood moviedevoted to it with Troy; starring Brad Pitt, Eric Bana (Hulk) andOrlando Bloom (Lord Of The Rings).
Cool. So this’ll be 2004’s Gladiator.
Perhaps. The trailer is certainly very promising – with the expectedlyhigh production values and some stirring sequences of old-fashionedwar-mongering. The opening “money shot” featuring hundreds of shipssailing into battle is startling to behold – like an Ancient World’sD-Day landing.
Trailer: Click here
TRAILER RATING: 3/5
CHANCE OF SUCCESS: 4/5
The Chronicles Of Riddick
Riddick, I know that name…
If you’ve seen Pitch Black, then you’ll know that Riddick is the name ofthe lead anti-hero played by Vin Diesel.
Ah, yes! That’s it! So this is a sequel?
Yes, The Chronicles Of Riddick is the first of a proposed trilogy ofsequels to Pitch Black focusing on Riddick’s character.
So, Chronicles is The Lord Of The Rings to Pitch Black’s The Hobbit?
Got it in one. But if the first movie underperforms, don’t expect Part 2and 3 to materialize. A lot rests on Vin Diesel’s increased popularityin the wake of The Fast & The Furious and xXx.
Does the trailer look good?
It looks… okay. Writer-director David Twohy keeps describingChronicles as Star Wars’ evil twin – but it looks more like a darkerversion of Dune. The effects look okay, but the general atmosphere anddesign is quite old-fashioned.
But Twohy is an unsung hero of sci-fi, isn’t he? Remember The Arrival,and didn’t he also write the first Warlock movie. That was good.
Yes, Twohy can take somewhat clichéd scenarios and breath fresh lifeinto them, so we’ll reserve judgement for the final movie. But he alsowrote Waterworld, G.I Jane, Critters 2 and Imposter!
Everyone has skeletons in the closet…
I’m not saying Chronicles looks bad, because it doesn’t. It just lookslike everything we’ve seen hundreds of times before – particularly ifyou love the opening full-motion videos for PC games…
Trailer: Click here
TRAILER RATING: 2/5
CHANCE OF SUCCESS: 3/5
Garfield
Garfield – seriously? Isn’t this movie about 20 years too late?
It would seem that way. Garfield was a marketing phenomenon,particularly in the mid-80’s (remember those suction-cup Garfields incar windows?), but his popularity waned in the 90’s.
And now a lot of kids don’t really know who Garfield is!
There is that, yes. So the studio is obviously hoping the film willstand on its own – to a degree.
Does the trailer work?
Hmmm, no. To be fair, all it does is give you some snippets of Garfieldin action and an idea of the humour (Garfield doing an Elvis impressionin front of the mirror, etc). Only it’s not very funny. Garfield doesn’tseem lazy enough and there’s no sense of sarcasm from Bill Murray’svocal talents.
Bill Murray! Well, that seems like a good choice.
It does, but the trailer doesn’t do justice to him. And, of course, thetrailer reveals the cardinal sin of this Garfield movie. The thingthat’s going to blow the whole thing for Garfield fans…
Do tell.
Well, Garfield has been brought to life as a fat, orange piece of CGI,right?
So far, so predictable…
But, erm, Odie (and doubtless any other animal encountered in the film)aren’t CGI. They’re just regular animals… and not even lip-synced!
What?!
I know, I know. Obviously the budget would only stretch to having a CGIlead character – so interaction with Odie is going to be very one-way.
Oh dear. Chances of success?
Unless the film is rip-roaringly funny (which I doubt) to overcome itsanimal/CGI problem… Garfield looks set to become a massive turkey thatwill forever tarnish Jim Davis’ rather excellent cartoon strip. Shame.
Trailer: Click here
TRAILER RATING: 2/5
CHANCE OF SUCCESS: 2/5
Hellboy
Sounds scary.
More action-packed than scary, really. Hellboy is the movie adaptationof the successful comic-book series about a red-skinned demon summonedby Nazi’s in World War II, but who now works for a US paranormal agency.
Hmmm. Never heard of it.
It’s successful in the same way Spawn is successful. Hellboy may nothave mainstream identity like Spider-Man or Batman, but there will be alot of fans desperate to see this film do justice to Mike Mignol’srevered comics.
I’m sure. But for the rest of us what is there to recommend?
C’mon, it’s directed by Guillermo Del Toro (Blade II), stars badassactor Ron Perlman (Alien Resurrection), and features mechanical Nazi’s, Rasputin,giant tentacled monsters, demons, and a stack of special-effectsstunt-work.
Okay, sounds fun – but what’s the trailer like?
Great. It plays like a cross between Men In Black and Ghostbusters,mixed with the dark comic-book style of Blade II. The make-up andeffects look fantastic, so this should clean the floor with thecompetition in spring and pave the way for Spider-Man 2 in the summer.
Trailer: Click here
TRAILER RATING: 4/5
CHANCE OF SUCCESS: 4/5
Sky Captain & The World Of Tomorrow
Cool title! Or very silly!
Previously know as just The World Of Tomorrow, this could be the FlashGordon of our times: a rollicking B-movie adventure with 21st-Centuryeffects, but with 1930’s-style sci-fi technology.
(DVDfever Dom: “I was going to say the ‘Biggles’ of our times.” 🙂
Even better. Who’s in it?
None other than Jude Law (AI) and Gwyneth Paltrow (Seven) – bothoutfitted in some retro-30’s fashions.
This all sounds like good, dumb fun – but will it just be dumb?
The script has been reviewed online and been given a big thumbs up. Thesheer originality of the movie (despite its mix-and-matching of pastgenres) should ensure SC&TWOT definitely grabs audience’s attention nextyear.
Great. I’ll keep an eye out.
But of course, there’s always doubt…
Go on…
This trailer certainly piques the interest, but the effects are veryheavily stylized to give the impression of pulp fiction comic drawings -so most of the effects look like animation, which may prove irksome whencombined with the live-action cast of the movie. Oh, and it didn’t helpthat they used the StarGate theme tune in the trailer, but that’sanother matter…
Trailer: Click here
TRAILER RATING: 3/5
CHANCE OF SUCCESS: 3/5
Spider-Man 2
Already?
Yep, no sooner had Spider-Man demolished box-office records in 2002 andushered in the likes of 2003’s Daredevil, X-Men 2 and Hulk, than asequel was fast-tracked into production.
This should be good then.
All the signs are very positive, yes. The same cast are back, as isoriginal director Sam Raimi. Even more promising is the fact they haveAlfred Molina playing the villainous Doctor Octopus.
Doc Ock – cool!
Undoubtedly he’s Spider-Man’s most famous villain, and unlike the GreenGoblin he won’t be hidden inside a silly costume!
So early word is strong?
Oh, yes. Footage revealed to a comic-book convention drew gasps ofappreciation – as the Octoupus’ tentacles take on Spidey with all theadrenaline rush of Raimi’s famous Evil Dead camera trickery. By allaccounts, the sequel is set to be a little darker and meatier.
Excellent – so Spidey 2 will be 2004’s big earner?
It’s a very strong possibility that Spider-Man 2 will break its ownrecords next year.
Trailer: Click here
TRAILER RATING: 4/5
CHANCE OF SUCCESS: 5/5
Son Of The Mask
What took them so long?! The Mask was a fantastic movie, I thought.
It was certainly very entertaining and an unsung pioneer for integratingCGI into movies. The Mask also remains one Jim Carrey’s best films.Sadly this belated sequel (10 years later, no less!) doesn’t starrubber-limbed Carrey.
Oh. Right. So, who’s replaced him?
Jamie Kennedy.
Who?
Jamie Kennedy. From TV’s The Jamie Kennedy Experiment?
Er…
The ginger-haired buffoon who played Randy in Scream?
Oh, yeah… right.
Anyway, Kennedy plays a cartoonist who finds the Mask, wears it, andgoes to bed with his girlfriend, only to find 9 months later that theirnewborn baby has inherited the powers of The Mask.
Oh. Hmmm.
Exactly. The sequel will also feature Alan Cumming (X-Men 2’sNightcrawler) as the Norse God Loki – whose mischievous spirit is saidto inhabit the titular Mask.
Right…
And a review of the script says there’s a crazy car chase sequencetowards the end of the movie that (if pulled off) will be a mind-blowingmix of cartoon violence and real-world stunts.
Well, that sounds good.
It’s about all that does…
So isn’t the trailer worthy of merit?
Er, no. It’s just a teaser featuring an acrobatic baby. Not verypromising, as the effects look a little strained.
Oh dear.
The Son Of The Mask hits cinemas next year.
TRAILER RATING: 1/5
CHANCE OF SUCCESS: 2/5
US TOP 10 (CINEMA)All figures are weekend box-office gross.
- 1. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King ($28.1m) ($290.1m grossed to date)
- 2. Cheaper by the Dozen ($21.6m)
- 3. Something’s Gotta Give ($11.7m)
- 4. Cold Mountain ($11.5m)
- 5. Paycheck ($9.8m)
- 6. Peter Pan (2003) ($8.8m)
- 7. Mona Lisa Smile ($8.3m)
- 8. The Last Samurai ($7.3m)
- 9. Calendar Girls ($4.4m)
- 10. Bad Santa ($2.9m)
UK TOP 10 (CINEMA)
- 1. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (£6.49m) (£41.84m grossed to date)
- 2. Peter Pan (2003) (£1.64m)
- 3. Love Actually (£1.12m)
- 4. Stuck on You (£1.11m)
- 5. Cold Mountain (£0.92m)
- 6. Freaky Friday (£3.20m)
- 7. Elf (£0.57m)
- 8. Brother Bear (£0.45m)
- 9. Out of Time (£0.34m)
- 10. SWAT (£0.15m)
** IN THE PIPELINE **Note that these are UK release dates.
Email Dan Owen
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.