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Plane – a new action movie for 2023 with a very ‘plain’ moniker.
Apparently, the studio wanted to give this a proper title, but Gerard Butler (Angel Has Fallen) – as pilot Brodie Torrance: – kept insisting on the single, simple word.
As the film begins, it’s hardly an entire plane-full of passengers who board, as they go on their way from Americaland to wherever the destination was (maybe they said, I’ve no idea), including two cute young women who planned to sit at the back, before this was taken by a prisoner, Louis Gaspare (Mike Colter), and his handler. Plus, there’s a complete arsehole passenger, Matt Sinclair (Joey Slotnick).
Alas, for everyone on board, they’re board to crash-land in the Jolo Island Cluster (me neither, but I see it does exist, and it’s a volcanic island) in the Southern Philippines, and as a result, two people on the plane end up brown bread.
Everyone’s thoughts will turn to their loved ones who’ll be missing them, including Brodie’s daughter, who’s at University in California, but it could be anywhere. Doesn’t really matter, since we only see her a couple of times, purely for decorative purposes, and living in a posh house, doing no Uni work – just sitting at home and crying.
Because reasons, the prisoner is chosen to assist Gerard, since they’re both tough as old boots and they have to deal with mad mercenaries in the jungle, led by Datu Junmar (Evan Dane Taylor).
Yes, if you thought Top Gun: Maverick had a threadbare plot, then Plane shouts, “Hold my beer!”
As such, everyone fears Gaspare’s presence, yet, you know he’ll help save them all because he’s second in the cast list, and on the poster with our lead hero!
Alas, there’s zero humour in this movie, and when it comes to killing the cardboard terrorists, that aspect was carried out like a shit ‘Die Hard’.
Oh, and then there was a problem with the auditorium itself, leading me to emailing Cineworld, and I am currently awaiting a response:
- “Dear Cineworld, Gerard Butler’s Plane had the atmosphere completely destroyed due to broken speakers in Cineworld Didsbury screen 7 at 3pm yesterday. Only the front speakers were working, or the supplied print was faulty – either way, to let this play out in that way is poor form.
I asked a guy there, he went & listened from back, presumably fed this up the line but nothing changed throughout (15 mins after, someone came in briefly at the front for a moment, then the only other time was a staff member checking for anyone recording the film). I didn’t see the first guy after to ask & I didn’t have time to start a long conversation anew, so this was a very bad cinema experience as such a film relies on big sound.
Please can you find out what went wrong, and when you will fix it. I’d also like to request a complimentary ticket, given the bad experience, please, which I think is perfectly reasonable.”
I’d only watch this film again if I could do so with the sound intact. That’ll most likely be when it comes out for home viewing. However, it doesn’t change the fact that everyone involved with this film was completely wasting their time.
Plane is in cinemas now, but isn’t yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD. However, you can buy the novel in Paperback, but why bother?!
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 107 minutes
Release date: February 3rd 2023
Studio: Lionsgate UK
Format: 2.39:1
Cinema: Cineworld Didsbury
Rating: 0/10
Director: Jean-François Richet
Producers: Marc Butan, Gerard Butler, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Luillo Ruiz, Alan Siegel, Mark Vahradian
Screenplay: Charles Cumming, JP Davis
Music: Marco Beltrami, Marcus Trumpp
Cast:
Brodie Torrance: Gerard Butler
Louis Gaspare: Mike Colter
Scarsdale: Tony Goldwyn
Samuel Dele: Yoson An
Datu Junmar: Evan Dane Taylor
Terry Hampton: Paul Ben-Victor
Bonnie Lane: Daniella Pineda
Brie Taylor: Lilly Krug
Katie Dhar: Kelly Gale
RCMP: Otis Winston
Karim Rahim: Angel Fabián Rivera
Chan Yuen: Fernando Chang
Antonio Ortega: Modesto Lacen
Matt Sinclair: Joey Slotnick
Ana Fernández, Rose J Eshay
Javier Molina: Ricky Robles Cruz
Rosalie Jeong: Jessica Nam
Riley Donahue: Quinn McPherson
Maxwell Carver: Oliver Trevena
The Executive: Tara Westwood
Isabella Yu: Michelle Lee
Maria: Amber Rivera
Joshua Jeong: John Shim
Hajan: Claro de los Reyes
Shellback: Remi Adeleke
Moses: Matt Cook
Jim Lake: Pete Scobell
Willis: James Sang Lee
Carrie: Heather Seiffert
Daniela: Haleigh Hekking
Marc Richards: Jeremy Denzlinger
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.