Do You Wanna Be A Popstar?

• Cert:
• Cat.no: VCD 0215
• Running time: 57 minutes
• Year: 2002
• Pressing: 2002
• Region(s): 2 (UK PAL)
• Chapters: 6
• Sound: Dolby Digital 2.0 (Stereo)
• Languages: English
• Subtitles: None
• Widescreen: 16:9
• 16:9-enhanced: Yes
• Macrovision: Yes
• Disc Format: DVD 5
• Price: £14.99
• Extras: Interviews, Outtakes

  Producer:

  Justin Gorman

  Narrator :

  Daniel Hill

Do You Wanna Be A Popstar?

Well, you won’t find it in this DVD that redefines “tacky”, as Hear’Say‘sMyleene Klass and the is-he-gay-or-is-he-really-shagging-the-Adult-Channel-birdpop mogul Simon Cowell pose for the camera and waffle on about very little of worthwhile the director zooms the shot in and out and back again constantly for no reasonwhatsoever.

In fact, I’ll digress here for a minute. What kind of brainless idiot is it that gets behinda camera and has a completely bloody inability to point the fucking thing straight at itssubject? You don’t need to move it about, zoom in and out, take a black-and-white shot from theside, go for a close-up on their mouth, etc. Not all of these are visited in this release, butthey’ve all been used in TV docusoaps before now and it’s damn irritating.

Back to the subject and all you really need to know about being a popstar is that you need tobe stuck in the Anna Scher School of Young Primadonnas from the year dot and live in the beliefthat you will succeed, when the chances are that you won’t. There are, however, contributionsfrom voice coach Annie Skates, stylist Kirsty Drury and pop producer NigelWright (no, not THAT Nigel).

By the way, I might have been a tad unfair saying you’ll learn nothing from this DVD, butyou certainly won’t learning anything new that you haven’t seen in the endless hours ofcoverage from both Popstars and Pop Idol.

That said, why would you want to learn anything from Myleene now, given that, at the time ofwriting this review (late May 2002), Hear’Say are on the wane and the other fivehopefuls, once labelled “Flopstars”, aka Liberty X, have just scored their firstNo.1 single with “Just a Little”.

Myleene – big jugs, but not much up top.

As per the TV broadcasts, the presentation is in anamorphic 16:9 widescreenand it occasionally utilises the full width of the frame. For such a recentshow you’d expect crystal clear quality with zero artifacts and this is what ispresented here, but because of the aforementioned terrible camerawork, I’m droppingthis score to one point, for the times when the camera WAS still, because the rest ofthe time it made me sea sick.

Sound quality is perfectly fine, but it’s almost completely basic dialogue with verylittle else, other than backing music during workout performances.

The extras begin with a dull 4-minute interview with Myleene. Well, fourminutes of things she was told to enthuse about for the camera. Then comesa 17-minute section with dance rehearsals and new interview clips withHear’Say, showing off new band member Johnny and shunning any mentionof the original member he replaced, Kym Marsh, who is always out on thetown with Eastenders‘ Jack Ryder in a desperate attempt to bethe wannabe “Posh N Becks”. Then there’s a 3-minute Outtakes section.You’ll flick through this once as Myleene fluffs her lines and that’s it.

There are barely any chapters with just 6 across the 57-minute running time,there are no subtitles and the main menu has some subtle animation but issilent.

Myleene records a cover version of Gaudete.

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