Radio X with Chris Moyles – The disaster of the year

On By In News

radio-x Radio X replaces XFM across the UK from Monday September 21st and this really is a disaster to rival the loss of Ceefax, Teletext/Oracle and Stockport’s KFM Radio in 1991.

For those of you who weren’t aware of the disappearance of the short-lived local station KFM, it gave birth to talent such as The Royle Family‘s Craig Cash and Caroline Aherne, then was taken over by Signal Radio, and overnight we went from Rock and Indie, to Kylie and Jason. Yes, it was that bad.

So what bright new talent have Radio X lined up for their daytime schedules? Across lunchtime, there’s cockney wide-boy Johnny Vaughan, who was bald when he was hosting The Big Breakfast in the ’90s, so god knows how old he is now (well, Wikipedia lists him as 49! Really?!). For a time he was presenting on Capital Radio, one of the most pedestrian stations I’ve ever had the misfortune to hear. The advert featured Rita Ora (or similar) shouting “Capital Rocks!” Well, if there’s one thing Capital definitely does NOT do, it is “rock”. In fact, their bland pop programming is so lame it makes Kiss FM sound edgy.

For drivetime, it’s Vernon Kay as the token Northerner, so clearly his ITV gameshow 1000 Heartbeats has been cancelled. That’s a positive, but sadly he’s now been inflicted upon us like a plague in other ways. How long will it be into the first show before he shouts “Blimey, O’Reilly!”, in exactly the same way that the rest of us oop North DON’T?

Also thrown into the mix is Ricky Wilson. You may be aware of him as the lead singer of The Kaiser Chiefs, the band who released the songs, “Oh My God”, “I Predict a Riot” and “Everyday I Love You Less and Less”, which didn’t do a great deal first time round but were subsequently re-released in the same order and then went into the Top 10. Nothing else they’ve ever produced since has had the same power, thus reflecting the title of their 2007 Top 20 single, “Everything Is Average Nowadays”. And now he’s one of the chair-spinners on BBC’s The Voice. Does anyone actually watch that? They certainly don’t buy any records released by the winners! It seems that the only advice he has to offer is “Have a few big hits and then live off the royalties when your ideas dry up.”

And finally, the piss de resistance, Chris Moyles, the self-appointed saviour of Radio 1 who somehow managed to gain a following despite abusing the use of the word “gay” to mean “rubbish” and calling his female presenter a ‘dog’. Thankfully, that following never extended to his Youtube vlogs, A Week In The Life Of Chris Moyles, but just when we thought he’d faded from public view and gone off to find a proper job, he was thrown a lifeline.

Of course, XFM aren’t perfect themselves. Like some other stations – well, everyone apart from Classic FM – they’ve also had some DJs who babble on over the top of the ends of songs, and there’s really no need for it when it’s a song that has a definitive ending, since the listener is gearing up for it and the adrenaline is pumping and then… ruined. I’ve never had a paid job in radio, but as well as working for 18 months in community radio and enjoying that, I’ve listened to the radio long enough (i.e. all my life) to know that listeners HATE songs being talked over. It’s the same with the end credits of TV shows. Just stop it!!! (sigh) Anyhoo, what working in community radio did teach me is that putting a radio programme together is not difficult. It’s time-consuming, yes, but not difficult. So yes, I could do the job of those who babble over the end of songs.

However, compared to the likes of Moyles, he’ll shout over everything! In fact, if *any* song gets a look-in, I’ll be surprised.

So why a Radio X hiring him? God knows. He completes the trio of dinosaurs, with Kay and Vaughan, to take radio back to the Jurassic era.

This past week has seen the end of some great long-running shows in Manchester such as Tim Cocker and Producer Jim‘s breakfast show, and the drivetime show with Clint Boon, best known as a former member of The Inspiral Carpets. He’ll still have a four-hour show on Radio X on Sunday evenings from 7pm, but compared to drivetime five nights a week, it’s cold comfort.

And, another casualty is that this closure is reducing jobs in the North, as well as in Scotland for those involved in XFM Scotland. Everything’s moving down to London, London, bloody London, and then networked across the UK.

Oh, and if you’re a fan of listening to radio via DAB, you won’t be pleased to learn that while FM gives you 128kbps in stereo, Radio X is only broadcasting on DAB in 80kps and MONO! Why?!

I don’t have DAB in my car, or anywhere else, but I can see myself detuning Radio X from my car radio quick smart!

I’ll let Tim Cocker’s tweet on Monday have the last word on this:

Loading…

No related posts.