You know what 2012's about. It's the one where the world ends.,
But how? Well, in 2009, deputy geologist Dr Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) finds out from his friend in India, Dr.
Satnam Tsurutani (Jimi Mistry), that solar flares are causing the Earth's core to boil up and he brings it to
the President's attention. At the same time, little-known author Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) takes his kids
camping in Yellowstone Park, but as he's long since separated from his missus, Kate (Amanda Peet), he's clearly
ostracised by his kids for not having much to do with them. In fact, they have much more respect for their mum's new
boyfriend, Gordon (Thomas McCarthy, who I'd only seen as reporter and total nob Scott Templeton in the final
season of The Wire). Naturally, jilted Jackson thinks Gordon is a moron....
Helmsley and Curtis meet by chance when Curtis and his kids wander into a now-restricted area in the aforementioned park,
and the former just happens to be a big fan of the latter's work. Also thrown into the mix is the President (Danny
Glover), his daughter, Laura (Thandie Newton, playing this role as an absolute wet lettuce) and there's
also Oliver Platt as arrogant Chief of Staff Carl Anheuser. Also, Woody Harrelson is wonderfully nutty
as the beardy-weirdy conspiracy theorist hick Charlie Frost, a hobo in the Yellowstone restricted area, so far undetected
by the powers that be. He runs his own bizarre phone-in show and seems to know far more about what's going on than most
people, and that's not just the fact that the reason for the world being about to fall apart is that the Earth's crust
is destablising and displacing as a result of the solar flare.
There's occasional scenes set in 2009, 2010 and 2011 before we get to the year in question, but since the world's meant
to end on December 21st 2012, it would be nice to have a timeframe throughout that year, so we're just guessing how
close we are to that time. For those baulking at the overlong running time, although there are the occasional teasers
of problems to come in the story-building, it all starts to get mental after a mere 40 minutes, so with 2 hours still to
go that's plenty of SFX entertainment for even the adrenaline junkie. And there's even a nice reference to the 'bigger
boat' line in Jaws, too.
However, it does lay on the sentimentality with a trowel the size of Wales and, naturally, I could pick a million
holes in the plot and the events depicted which, to do so, would give away spoilers, but you'll spot them all as you
watch anyway.
The final question is - now Roland Emmerich has ended the world, just where can his special FX movies go next?
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