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Dan Owen reviews
2 0 0 3 R e t r o s p e c t i v eP a r t T h r e e
S.W.A.T.Another US TV show gets the movie treatment, this time with Mr Cool himselfSamuel L. Jackson and the hardest-working actor of 2003 – Colin Farrell.
The first half is an entertaining mix of macho posing and funky music, butS.W.A.T sadly degenerates into a formulaic action-fest with a few decentscenes to warrant your attention on DVD, I suppose…
TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINESHe said he’d be back. That it would take thirteen years he forgot tomention. Let’s be honest here – the signs weren’t good. ArnoldSchwarzenegger’s career was in freefall post-Batman & Robin, legendarydirector James Cameron wasn’t returning and star Linda Hamilton publiclydenounced the project. Inevitably the potential for a cash-in sequel wastangible, but surprisingly T3 was a solid entry.
When viewed alongside itsillustrious forbearers there’s simply no denying T3 is the weakest movie. Infact, at times it resembles the most expensive-looking TV pilot evercommissioned. But… and this is key to the film’s success – at least itdidn’t destroy the franchise. T3 was a mix of earlier concepts given sometweaks, with far too many gags but some well-integrated special-effects. Oh,and it was also the most unique political campaign machine ever devised…
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THE ITALIAN JOBYou don’t mess with perfection. Which is why the Yanks got their claws intothe classic British heist movie. Come on, admit it, The Italian Job isn’tthat special. Beyond a few one-liners, Michael Caine and (for the time) adecent car chase, it wasn’t anything to cream your pants over.
Thankfully, the Yank Job (oo-er) managed to twist the basic concept into an entertainingpiece of fluff, even if the trailer gave away the entire plot and Ed Nortonwined like a brat about his involvement for months on end…
THE LORD OF THE RINGS – THE RETURN OF THE KINGAt time of writing, I haven’t seen the final part of Peter Jackson’s modernclassic. But I’d be very surprised if it disappointed me. Another adventurepacked full of wonderful scenery, stunning cinematography, a gorgeoussoundtrack, great acting, unsurpassable special-effects and fluidstorytelling.
Return Of The King deserves to scoop the Academy Awards nextyear because – after all – The Two Towers was the worst book, and look howthat one turned out! (I hope…)
THE MATRIX RELOADEDTo some this was the biggest disappointment of 2003. Perhaps they’re right,but after 4 years of massive anticipation what else could it have been?
Reloaded may not be as unique and as accomplished as the startling original,but it was still a very entertaining movie packed with mind-blowingvisual-effects and asked some intriguing questions. Just a shame that aftersuch a great set-up, the pay-off wouldn’t be that satisfying…
THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONSAh, yes, the final part – released in the same year, too. Despite criticalbacklash after Reloaded, the eagerness to see The Wachowski Brotherscomplete their cyberpunk trilogy sustained Revolutions and enabled it to dobig business worldwide.
Of course, Revolutions came in for even worsecriticism amongst fans – who bemoaned the lack of answers to questions posedin Reloaded (mainly by the Architect). So just how could Neo destroySentinels in the real world? Buggered if I know, but I do know that it mademuch more sense of Zion wasn’t real… ho-hum…
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRETobe Hooper’s 70’s original is a revered piece of horror that contemporaryaudiences tend to watch and – frankly – laugh that their parents everthought it was that scary.
So the guy who brought us Pearl Harbor (MichaelBay) decided to produce an update starring Jessica Biehl, which actuallywasn’t that bad. It’s too flash and hip for its own good, never approachingthe original’s raw documentary-style… but it has some genuine chills alongthe way.
UNDERWORLDIt could have been so dumb and so deliciously good. But we just got dumb.How could they fail to weave an entertaining story in a movie filled withvampires, werewolves, a Romeo & Juliet-style plot and Matrixcostume-fitting. They even persuaded Pearl Harbor English rose KateBeckinsale to pour herself into skin-tight leather.
Sadly, Underworld becameone of 2003’s biggest disappointments. A low-grade Blade rip-off with only afew entertaining scenes and some laboured plotting. Underworld II and III isalready being planned, naturally… it did have vampires and werewolves init, remember…
X-MEN 2For many, X-Men 2 was the best superhero movie of the year. X2 effortlesslysurpassed its original, with more mutants, more action, better effects and amore entertaining story. Hugh Jackman has yet to break free of Wolverine’sshadow, but there’s no denying his star power.
Hopefully next summer’s VanHelsing will do the trick. Elsewhere, fans went mad for Alan Cumming’steleporting Nightcrawler and some sexy Mystique shenanigans…
2003 Retrospective – Part 2
2003 Retrospective – Part 4Page Content copyright © Dan Owen, 2003.
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Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.