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Spider-Man Homecoming reboots the Spidey franchise to fit in with all the Marvel Avengers movies, after Andrew Garfield’s turn was cut short of a potential third movie (a shame, since 2014’s sequel was a definite improvement on his 2012 suit-wearing debut)
So is this new change resulting in Spider Chic or Spider Shabby? With all the hype, and Marvel rehashing the same thing, and the lead actor not being one I care for (The Impossible was dull as ditchwater once the initial tsunami scene was over and done with), I’m starting to wonder if I’ve reached ‘peak Marvel’?
That said, I went into 2014’s Transformers movie with low expectations and came out thinking it was better than expected (mainly due to the big screen IMAX 3D experience), plus the recent Transformers: The Last Knight was an incredible IMAX 3D experience again and it’s also the only 3D film so far this year, which is actually MADE in 3D), so who knows. I still would’ve preferred a third Andrew Garfield film, though.
As for the film’s format, Spidey wasn’t shot in 3D, nor with IMAX cameras, so plain 2D was fine for me.
I’ll also add that I was never a fan of Marlon Brando until I recently saw him in the Western, One-Eyed Jacks, so, can this film turn Tom Holland around in my eyes?
Well, no. I tried. I really tried, but he has the charisma on a level with Paul Rudd from Ant-Man, who almost put me into a coma when I saw that. Holland’s not quite on that scale, but he ain’t Robert Downey Jr by a long shot. However, the problems with this film are far from his fault alone.
Beginning in 2012 after the Battle of New York from The Avengers, when the team building was starting to be rebuilt, time appears to get messed about with, since via a vlog from Peter Parker including him taking part in the airport fight in Captain America: Civil War, the ‘present day’ is “eight years later”, even though it’s clearly 2017 (one of the baddies is 33 years old and his ID states he was born in 1984). Still…
Cagney or Lacey (Tyne Daly, anyhoo) turns up to stop Adrian Toomes (Michael Keaton) from doing the building work, effectively putting him out of business. So, what does a disgruntled construction worker do? Dabbles with the alien tech he discovered and improves it over the course of time until he builds an outfit that helps him to fly. Is he Birdman? No, that’s crazy talk. He’s Vulture!
Meanwhile, Peter Parker is secretly making web fluid at school, and there’s a few occasional giggles in the first third of the film, mostly from tertiary characters Ned (Jacob Batalon) and Michelle (Zendaya), plus he fancies Liz (Laura Harrier), and not the Gwen-like blonde,
Betty (The Nice Guys‘ Angourie Rice), we were first expecting. And as for the ‘Homecoming’ in the title, that’s the name of the prom which comes late in the film.
However, with all the rebooted movies, how many times have we seen a high school scene? How many more do we need to see? None. Imagine if someone kept remaking Back To The Future every few years and we had to see someone else performing at the ‘Enchanted Under The Sea’ dance?
Throw in a drone that sounds like R2D2 in places, the ability for Peter to talk to his suit (well, it’s his only friend, really), and if you’re a Spidey fan, then the presentation of the film was top class, but for me, the film was just going through the motions. It was predictable, nothing felt new at all, it was overlong, and I got bored on a regular basis to the point where I checked my watch one moment, then checked it a bit later… and only one minute had passed!
Sometimes Michael Keaton can put in a stellar performance (Birdman, Pacific Heights), while at others he can really phone it in (Robocop reboot, Need for Speed). Guess where this one fits in? In fact, at one point, one of his colleague picks up his phone to answer it and I was surprised Keaton’s voice didn’t come out(!)
I do want to see director Jon Watts‘ 2015 drama Cop Car (budget $800,000), starring Kevin Bacon, as that looks superb, but with no other major films to his name (his previous one being 2014’s Clown, with a budget of $1.5m), how on earth does he get entrusted with a $175m summer blockbuster? This is far from the first time this has happened in Hollywood, but it does make for a baffling conundrum.
I also blame Sony/Marvel for this being one of those Hollywood cases where almost all of the good bits are in the trailer, including the ‘Avengers’ bank theft with the ‘shocker’ device that can lift a cashpoint machine out and carry it about like the gun from Portal.
At least fans of the franchise will be pleased that the Spider-Man theme is worked into the opening Marvel logo.
And for all of us, there’s the stunning Marisa Tomei, rocking it at 53 as Aunt May!
Now, about the additional scenes in the credits…
However, while this film didn’t work for me, I can highly recommend Baby Driver and, yes – I’m going against the critics again – the 3D version of Transformers: The Last Knight.
Book tickets for Spider-Man Homecoming at Vue Cinemas.
Spider-Man Homecoming is available to pre-order **INCLUDING A COMIC WITH EACH MOVIE** on Blu-ray, Blu-ray Steelbook, 3D Blu-ray, 4K Blu-ray, Figurine with Blu-ray & 4K Blu-ray, DVD, and you can buy the CD soundtrack now.
In addition, click on the poster for the full-size version, and you can also buy Spider-Man Homecoming – The Art of the Movie in Hardback.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 133 minutes
Studio: Warner Bros
Cinema: Vue, Lowry, Salford Quays
Year: 2017
Format: 2.35:1 (Dolby Vision), 1.33:1 (Peter’s vlogs)
Released: July 5th 2017
Rating: 2/10
Director: Jon Watts
Producers: Kevin Feige and Amy Pascal
Screenplay: Jonathan Goldstein, John Francis Daley, Jon Watts, Christopher Ford, Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers ((based on the Marvel comic book by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko)
Music: Michael Giacchino
Cast:
Peter Parker / Spider-Man: Tom Holland
Adrian Toomes / Vulture: Michael Keaton
Tony Stark / Iron Man: Robert Downey Jr
May Parker: Marisa Tomei
Happy Hogan: Jon Favreau
Pepper Potts: Gwyneth Paltrow
Michelle: Zendaya
Aaron Davis: Donald Glover
Ned: Jacob Batalon
Liz: Laura Harrier
Flash: Tony Revolori
Herman Schultz: Bokeem Woodbine
Anne Marie Hoag: Tyne Daly
Abe: Abraham Attah
Coach Wilson: Hannibal Buress
Principal Morita: Kenneth Choi
Ms. Warren: Selenis Leyva
Betty Brant: Angourie Rice
Mr. Harrington: Martin Starr
Doris Toomes: Garcelle Beauvais
Phineas Mason / The Tinkerer: Michael Chernus
Mac Gargan: Michael Mando
Jackson Brice: Logan Marshall-Green
Karen / Suit Lady: Jennifer Connelly (voice)
Agent Foster: Gary Weeks
Gary: Stan Lee
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.