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Streetmate shows that if Channel 4 hadn’t learned their lesson about the car crash that is Scarlett Moffatt from Host The Week, when she killed it off in its inaugral episode, they might never learn….
So, and exercising a ring of caution with the commissioning of fifteen 30-minute episodes (a lot less a commitment than Noel Edmonds’ thirty hour-long episodes of the godawful ratings flop Cheap Cheap Cheap), the orange, rotund, Weeble-wobbling Halloween horror is let loose on the UK
First in the frame is 29-year-old personal trainer, Austin, who has an age range of 25-35. Jenny was his chosen one. He’s black, she’s orange… and he was upset because she didn’t like his ‘knock knock’.. Europe… Europe who? “You’re a poo”. Huh? Understandably, she flushed him away…
The other picker was 27-year-old events promoter Sara, struggling to find anyone who agreed they were single until she chanced upon Harrison, the king of combing over a bald spot. They seemed to fare slightly better. Checking on them around a month later, the spark had gone, but never fear, since Sara had replaced him with a dog…
Note to Scarlett: When you’re using your laptop to Skype the picker, to ask how things went over the course of time, clean all the bloody fingerprints off the screen! Of course, little does she know that her laptop doesn’t have a touchscreen, which just highlights how damn stupid she is!
Streetmate airs Monday to Friday on Channel 4 at 5.30pm, and then later on All4, but it will NEVER be released on Blu-ray and/or DVD. Click on the top image of Noel for the full-size version.
Episode 1 Score: 0/10
Director: Jamie Wiggins
Series Producers: Jane Lomas and Amy Joyce
Creator: Gabe Sachs
Theme: a variation on Hear The Drummer Get Wicked by Chad Jackson
Host: Scarlett Moffatt
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.