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The Interstellar Song Contest is the sixth episode of Doctor Who Season 2… or, perhaps Series 15 or Series 45.
It’s time for another episode of Queer As Who, as this Doctor gets his gay on, alongside Belinda, and I don’t know anyone who cares about whether she gets home.
Now, I like Eurovision. I even find Rylan amusing. He was even surprisingly good on Channel 4’s Alternative Election Night 2019, roaming the audience and balancing their political views. So much so, that he could present Question Time, given the chance. He’s certainly be far better than bloody Tory Fiona Bruce.
This song contest has 3 trillion viewers. This episode certainly won’t get that. If it gets bumped by the FA Cup Final, it’ll get even less than what it might’ve attracted by following some football. That’s just how The Well managed to get a bump in its overnights. Either way, The Interstellar Song Contest won’t get bumped to BBC2, because it’s contractually-bound to have its TV premiere on BBC1. So, they’d just move it to tomorrow, instead.
uh oh ☹️😬 #DoctorWho pic.twitter.com/ZA95TfhOBB
— The Post Monument™ (@thepostmonument) April 10, 2025
As for the content, in the TV studio booth is awful Kirsty from Doctors. She irritated the tits off me when she was on there, just barking at everyone in a nasty manner. The only good thing Dr Graham Elton did was to get rid of her.
Meanwhile, some flimsy baddie with an ’80s mullet, calling himself Kid (really?! Is that the best name you can come up with for him?!), turns up and switch the Eurovision broadcast to the dress rehearsal, while everyone in the audience is apparently dead, along with ol’ Doccy. However, if you were him, wouldn’t you want your derring-do to be broadcast to everyone, and not hidden behind the dress rehearsal content?
I didn’t even have a single clue what was going on when it came to trying to fix things. Sound Wave? And why do the two workers declare they love each other, in the middle of it? Fuck off with this bollocks.
Whatever was done to fix it, with Doccy waffling gibberish to himself, it didn’t make any sense. But then that’s RTD for you. Getting everyone back was as easily resolved as it was to get rid of them in the first place. So, another typical episode where there’s nothing happening for ages, and then it’s all resolved in a trice.
Meanwhile, a lot of viewers are transphobes who have got upset about the fact the episode was written by Juno Dawson. I know nothing about Juno Dawson. I just care whether the episode is entertaining. It was not. Once you get past the flashy Eurovision stuff, it all just takes place in a couple of cardboard spaceship corridors.
A lot of fanbois are also wetting themselves about a Daily Mirror clickbait article, claiming two more series are already confirmed and written. However, nothing was sent out from the BBC’s press office about Doctor Who, yesterday, about a special episode of their Unleashed programme, about the fact it’s been 20 years since this was brought back…. even though it’s about to be ‘rested’ again.
Still, at least it’s good to know that Rylan will live forever. Less so for Graham Norton. Has no-one told him that that beard just makes him look ancient?
And ‘Kid’, played by Freddie Fox, shows that not everyone in the Fox family can act. Emilia and James, yes. Freddie, no.
But what was that song that the Corporation tried to hide? It was sung in unsubtitled Helian, so no-one has a clue what was being sung. And, of course, Cora, the singer has pronouns…
Additionally, it took about 30 minutes in before I broke off for a few minutes, to have a shit. That was more insightful.
And a couple of spoilers…
The Interstellar Song Contest on the BBC iPlayer, and on BBC1 at 7.10pm tonight. Maybe.
Season 2 is available to pre-order on Blu-ray and DVD.
You can also buy Season 1 on Limited Blu-ray Steelbook, Blu-ray and DVD.
Score: Nul points.
Director: Ben A Williams
Producer: Vicki Delow
Writer: Juno Dawson
Music: Murray Gold
Cast:
The Doctor: Ncuti Gatwa
Belinda Chandra: Varada Sethu
Kid: Freddie Fox
Mike Gabbastone: Kadiff Kirwan
Gary Gabbastone: Charlie Condou
Susan Foreman: Carole Ann Ford
Himself: Rylan Clark
Himself: Graham Norton
Sabine: Julie Dray
Runner: Imogen Kingsley Smith
Nina Maxwell: Kiruna Stamell
Wynn Aura-Kin: Iona Anderson
Mrs Flood: Anita Dobson
Cora Saint Bavier: Miriam-Teak Lee
Len Kazah: Akemnji Ndifornyen
Liz Lizardine: Christina Rotondo
Jeddy Kine: Abdul Seesay
The Rani: Archie Panjabi
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.