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The Scandalous Lady W apparently told the true story of Lady Seymour Worsley (Game Of Thrones and Hunger Games star Natalie Dormer), set in England, 1782, when a man’s wife was considred his property.
Unfortunately, I also consider time a crucial property and I hate for it to be wasted, yet that’s precisely what happened to ninety minutes of it during this depressingly tedious televisual bilge on the Monday evening of this TV film’s broadcast.
I don’t normally watch period dramas, but I gave this a try for Ms Dormer, and where ‘Scandalous’ is in the title, her illicit romance with Captain George Bisset (Aneurin Barnard) showed very little scandal, as there was a brief glimpse of her left nipple early on (see first picture below). Perhaps in centuries gone by this would be considered scandalous, given that this extra-marital “how’s your father” was given the go-ahead by her husband, Sir Richard Worsley (Shaun Evans). Nowadays, it all seems so incredibly tame, however, as does in any decade, the concept of Dickie taking a sneaky peek through the keyhole, and not in a David Frost kind of way.
Inbetween we had lots of arty-farty posing and lifeless shots that wouldn’t look out of place in a shop’s window full of dummies, with the cast staring into space like they’re trying to work out what to get for dinner from Aldi on their way home.
…and click on the image for a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it nipple shot!
Playing the part of nanny/cleaner Mary Sotheby was Jessica Gunning, who we last saw in Fortitude, going mad, beating her mother half to death and cutting her open and yakking into her chest. And never mind Natalie Dormer, early on, and playing as Elizabeth Figg, I saw Elizabeth Rider, from BBC1 daytime soap Doctors and choked on my dinner: “It’s DCI Driver!”
In years gone by, the BBC used to understand that a drama about T&A used to actually FEATURE some T&A, yet there is none of that here. Well, the aforementioned nipple, as well as the other one being seen slightly out of focus later on – so like an Ivor Cutler song, they come ‘one at a time’, leading me to realise why this utter risible crap about a cuckold relationship was left to rot in the summer schedules.
Seriously, if you’re going to sell a film based on the T&A within, then at least fucking well show some! The shots were cropped so that you briefly saw a flash of nipple, but missing out on anything decent, rather like a UK-censored version of an adult movie.
And since the lead female character had the first name Seymour, I couldn’t help but think of Principal Skinner from The Simpsons. And she looks nothing like him! (thankfully)
Naturally, threesomes are going to go wrong, and in the end, The Scandalous Lady W didn’t get anything she wanted. Well, technically, she got a divorce from Richard, but by then, George had dumped her, and by splitting up from her hubby – and at his insistence that she goes to live in France in exile for four years – the law stated that she’d given up all rights to care for her baby, Jane.
The Scandalous Lady W is released on DVD on October 5th. The book is available now, and click on the top shot of Natalie Dormer for the full-size version.
Overall: 2/10
Director: Sheree Folkson
Producer: Madonna Baptiste
Screenplay: David Eldridge (based on the book Lady Worsley’s Whim by Hallie Rubenhold)
Music: Alexander Balanescu
Cast:
Seymour Worsley: Natalie Dormer
Captain George Bisset: Aneurin Barnard
Sir Richard Worsley: Shaun Evans
Mr Wallace: Craig Parkinson
Mr James Farrar: Peter Sullivan
Viscount Deerhurst: Oliver Chris
Mary Sotheby: Jessica Gunning
Lord Chief Justice Mansfield: David Calder
Lord North: Richard McCabe
Elizabeth Figg: Elizabeth Rider
Lord Peterborough: Tom Edden
Mr Bearcroft: Will Keen
Captain Leversuch: Alex Beckett
Hesse: Robert Morgan
Footman: Thomas Coombes
Mary Marriott: Sandra Huggett
Dr Osborn: Michael Bott
Ann Ekelso: Scarlett Brookes
Wet Nurse: Rebecca Cooper
Journalist: Danny Jackson
Aristocrat: Javier Fontana
Waiter: Marco Staines
Foreman of the Jury: Jonathan Coote
Footman: Andy Hayes
Hannah Commander: Rose Shalloo
Lover 1: Richard Loveday
Lover 2: Joshua Expósito
Mrs Leversuch: Kirsty Hoiles
Clerk : George Fouracres
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.