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The Traitors is a new BBC1 gameshow where contestants will work together as a team to complete missions, but there will be traitors who’ll bump them off in the middle of the night.
The most they can win is £120,000, but can they stay alive? And since it’s about skill, can one of them snip off presenter Claudia Winkleman‘s fringe in the small hours? Well, in the interests of avoiding spoilers, I cannot reveal this…
Along the way, they have to suss each other out, and before too long, Claudia will choose the traitors. However, note that every decision has a consequence, and even though it takes around 12 minutes for something to happen in the opener, there is rather a surprise early on.
At one point, Traitors are selected in secret, with their job being ‘to murder the Faithful’ (i.e. the others). The Faithful must figure out who the Traitors are, banish them from the game. If a Traitor is banished, the remaining Traitors may get the chance to convert one of the Faithful to their side… my brain is starting to hurt.
Oh, and one little thing… on the first night, one of the Faithful will be murdered. D’oh!
Their first mission, if they choose to accept it… (like they have a choice) is to ignite two huge ‘Wicker Man’-style beasts by the side of a Loch. They’ll split into two teams, collect pieces of ropes, dip them into flammable liquid and then light the fuse.
They’ll also get extra points if they can lock Piers Morgan inside… I jest 😉
It takes 30 minutes before we get to this mission, however, so it’s really dragged out. Then again, that’s modern TV in 2022. Previously in a primetime slot for a gameshow, we had Gordon Ramsay’s Bank Balance, and that makes this show look positively speedy!
The best bit? The use of the rather bizarre Crabtree Remix of Philip Glass with Blondie‘s Heart of Glass. I recognised Mr Glass first, because his work is often used in TV and radio, with Blondie filtering in over time.
Naturally, I can’t say who are the Traitors, no who will be murdered, but Good Lord, it’s a drawn-out process, and even then, certain elements aren’t even revealed at the end of the episode where you’d normally expect them, but just held over until the next episode. I used to enjoy Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen USA when it was shown on ITV2, but a few seasons in, and he would often use the “Who will be evicted?” aspect as a cliffhanger until the next show, rather than just bin them off at the end of each episode, and that was just bloody annoying. And The Traitors is continuing this. That’s very bad form.
Okay, so the first three episodes (of 12!) are on the iPlayer after the first has been broadcast, so you don’t need to wait to find out the outcome, but this isn’t the way I like a gameshow to go, and makes a drawn-out show even more so, completely unnecessarily. At least when it’s online, you can skip through it to get past the endless waffle from the contestants.
Disappointingly, there’s no gore or blood when someone’s murdered, but maybe we can still get Piers Morgan into a Wicker Man anyway? Just for a laugh!
Even in the second episode, aside from revealing who was ‘murdered’, it takes almost 17 minutes until we get to the point where anything happens, i.e. the next mission, but I think I’ll murder myself so I don’t have to watch any more of this.
That said, it’ll probably be a huge hit and I’ll be completely wrong, since it’s typical summer filler… okay, it’s not summer, but it can be bookended onto a World Cup match and shuffled around the schedules on a whim… and then return next summer.
BTW, after Philip Glass, if you’re wondering who’s making a weird of Britney Spears‘ Toxic, it’s 2WEI.
Finally, there’s a relatively brief intro for each contestant. Apparently, Alex, 26, is a presenter, actor and “social media content creator”. Meanwhile, some of us have a real job, such as Maddy, 29, who works in a care home, so that’s a much more worthy career. Plus, 24-year-old Tom is a magician. Perhaps he can improve this show by tightening up each hour?
The Traitors continues tomorrow night on BBC1 at 9.15pm, and the first three episodes are now available to watch on the BBC iPlayer. It’s unlikely to be released on Blu-ray or DVD.
Director: Ben Archard
Writer: Lee Gant
Presenter: Claudia Winkleman
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.