Universal Soldier: The Return

Dom Robinson reviews

Universal Soldier: The ReturnPrepare To Become Obselete.
Distributed by

Columbia TriStar

      Cover

    • Cat.no: CDR 29201
    • Cert: 18
    • Running time: 79 minutes
    • Year: 1999
    • Pressing: 1999
    • Region(s): 2, PAL
    • Chapters: 28 plus extras
    • Sound: Dolby Digital 5.1
    • Languages: English
    • Subtitles: None
    • Widescreen: 1.85:1
    • 16:9-Enhanced: Yes
    • Macrovision: Yes
    • Disc Format: DVD 5
    • Price: £19.99
    • Extras : Scene index, Filmographies, US Theatrical Trailer, Featurettes:”Looking Back..Moving Forward”, On-set workout with Michael Jai White,Interviews

    Director:

      Mic Rogers

Producers:

    Craig Baumgarten, Allen Shapiro and Jean-Claude Van Damme

Screenplay:

    William Malone and John Fasano

Music:

    Don Davis

Cast:

    Luc Deveraux: Jean-Claude Van Damme (A.W.O.L., Bloodsport, Cyborg, Death Warrant, Desert Heat, Double Impact, Double Team, Hard Target, Legionnaire, Knock Off, Maximum Risk, Nowhere To Run, The Quest, Streetfighter, Sudden Death, Timecop,Universal Soldier)
    S.E.T.H.: Michael Jai White (City of Industry, Full Contact, Lion Strike, Ringmaster, Spawn, Two Days in the Valley, True Identity, Tyson: The True Story, Universal Soldier)
    Romeo: Bill Goldberg (TV: The Love Boat)

Universal Soldier: The Returnfollows the original film many years down the line – and seven in reality -where now the computerised soldiers, built up out of dead real ones in asuspect US Military experiment, are a great improvement over the initial batch.

Jean-Claude Van Damme returns as Luc Deveraux, but this time he’s areal man who can feel pain and works there as their technical expert. One night,as investigative journalist Erin Young (Heidi Schanz) is given a tourof the facility, the robots go into overdrive with souped-up A.I. and a missionto destroy anything completely human.

Starting off as a HAL-like computer, S.E.T.H. (Michael Jai White)soon becomes real after attempts to shut him down result in the deaths ofhis creator Dylan Cotner (Xander Berkeley) and Erin’s cameraman,copying exactly what happened in the first film.

Also along for the ride is S.E.T.H.’s second-in-command, Romeo (WCW star,Bill Goldberg) who does his bit to stop Deveraux putting the worldto rights. This, being a sequel, goes for the Aliens-factor, in thatinstead of one bad ‘guy’ in the original film, let’s have several more inthe sequel, although most are despatched of comparatively easy and when itcomes to the main man, let’s just say that if you’ve seen Demolition Man,you’ll know exactly what to expect.

Oh, I nearly forgot. S.E.T.H. draws Deveraux to fight him by kidnapping hisdaughter Hillary (Karis Paige Bryant) and attempts to turn her into oneof his kind and the same treatment is dished out to Deveraux’s spunky partner,Maggie (Kiana Tom). And the reason that Deveraux has a daughter is becausehe got married to the reporter from the first film (Ally Walker) butshe died, of what we are not told but probably from chronic movie obscurityas she’s never appeared in a big-name film since. Can I go back to sleep now?

NB. Michael Jai White’s “S.E.T.H.” is not to be confused with Emmerdale’sSeth and he does not shout,

Nay! Nay! Nay! Mr. Deveraux”


The good points: The usual anamorphic picture with no artifacts and in its original ratio -this time being 1.85:1 and the average bitrate is 4.80Mb/s, occasionally peaking above 7Mb/s.
The bad points: The usual slightly hazy look which makes you wonder why they still can’twork it out.

Loud! Crash! Explosion! Wallop! Smack! Bang! All in blistering Dolby Digital5.1. If the neighbours aren’t complaining, it’s because you’ve made them deaf!Add to this a less-than-subtle soundtrack combining the talents ofMegadeth, Anthrax, Gwar, Static-X, The Flys, Fear Factory andMinistry.


Extras : Chapters/Trailer :The usual 28 chapters from Columbia over the very short 79-minute running time.The original US theatrical trailer is also included. Languages/Subtitles :Dolby Digital 5.1 in English only and, surprisingly for Columbia who are usually liberalwith these, no subtitles – not that it requires the greatest amount of concentration. And there’s more… :Very brief Filmographies are available for the first-time director and thethree male leads. The featurettes will not have you going back for a second look,unless you’re female and want to watch an On-set workout with Michael Jai White.The Behind-the-scenes featurette is an extended trailer with Van Damme tellingyou how he was in “great shape” and that this film is “his best” and it’s the “rightfilm for me now”. Hmm..explain why this completely bypassed UK cinema release, Jean?Finally, there’s a “Looking Back…Moving Forward” featurette, a promotionaleffort combining clips of this film, Double Team, Nowhere To Run and MaximumRisk and more of the same interview, in which the man tries to find something tocommend each movie. The combined length of these three featurettes is less than 20 minutes. Menu :Silent and static with a picture taken from the front cover, with options tostart the film, select a scene or visit the extras menu.


I thoroughly enjoyed the original Universal Soldier and would love tosee that get the anamorphic widescreen DVD treatment, but ..The Returnis typical of many sequels that can’t be bothered to think of a plot for themselvesand just copy other films as well as their prequels to fill out the absurdly-shortrunning time.

The extras are the same as the Region 1 disc and the only benefit you’ll getfrom that is the inclusion of a fullscreen version, not that that’s much ofan incentive to choose it instead of this.

If you must see this film, rent it first. The only reason I don’t give itzero points is because there’s no film worse than Fellini’s Satyricon.

DVD Trivia: Michael Jai White also starred in the originalUniversal Soldier, but was only credited far down the cast list as”Soldier”. Now what does that tell you?FILM : ½PICTURE QUALITY: ****SOUND QUALITY: *****EXTRAS: *——————————-OVERALL: **½

Review copyright © Dominic Robinson, 2000.

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