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This weekend there are five new films out for you to choose from: sexual-based nonsense in Fifty Shades of Grey, a love story where family get in the way for Love Is Strange, murderous 1960s drama in Blood And Carpet, a sort-of love story where snow gets in the way for Two Night Stand, and horror in Coherence.
Fifty Shades of Grey is the overhyped film based on the overhyped book for women who’ve got nothing better to do with their lives. It stars two of the world’s least heard-of actors – Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson – the former replacing Queer as Folk‘s Charlie Hunnam after he left, three weeks before the start of the shoot, citing personal reasons as well as his busy schedule on Sons of Anarchy.
This film really is the only game in town this Valentine’s Day weekend, with no other big releases out at the same time, although it’s most of the other films which look a damn sight more interesting.
Directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson (who made the so-so Nowhere Boy) and starring Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle, Luke Grimes, Eloise Mumford, Kate Kavanagh, Marcia Gay Harden, Rita Ora and Emily Fonda, if you’re going to see it, will it be in one of those cinemas which have installed plastic covers over their seats?
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
Love Is Strange
After Ben (John Lithgow) and George (Alfred Molina) get married, the latter is fired from his teaching post, forcing them to stay with friends separately while they sell their place and look for cheaper housing – a situation that weighs heavily on all involved.
Also starring Marisa Tomei, this looks wonderful, especially with the two powerhouse leads.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Blood and Carpet
In the late 1960s there were no CCTV or crime scene DNA testing, but disposing of a dead body was still bloody murder.
Starring Andrew Tiernan, Nicola Stapleton and Bill Fellows, this new British film was made with a budget of a mere £20,000, and I love the look of it. Plus Nicola Stapleton has always been hotter than the sun 😉
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Two Night Stand
After an extremely regrettable one night stand, two strangers wake up to find themselves snowed in after sleeping through a blizzard that put all of Manhattan on ice. They’re now trapped together in a tiny apartment, forced to get to know each other way more than any one night stand should.
The film stars Miles Teller (Whiplash), Analeigh Tipton, Jessica Szohr and Scott Mescudi, and I thought I’d really hate this, but the two leads are personable and I was intrigued about the premise, so it looks like it’ll pass a reasonably brisk 86 minutes.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Coherence
On the night of an astronomical anomaly, eight friends at a dinner party experience a troubling chain of reality bending events. Part cerebral sci-fi and part relationship drama, Coherence is a tightly focused, intimately shot film that quickly ratchets up with tension and mystery.
Starring Emily Baldoni, Maury Sterling, Nicholas Brendon and Lorene Scafaria, I’m not massively sold on it from the trailer but there’s been good word spread about it, so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.