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This weekend there are eight new films out for you to choose from: Ancient Egypt action in Gods Of Egypt, a Grimm’s fairytale that goes a step too far in Tale Of Tales, gritty British drama The Violators, Blue Is The Warmest Colour’s Adèle Exarchopoulos returns in Down By Love, more adult-style animation in Long Way North, strong drama in The Keeping Room, alleged comedy in Barbershop 2: The Next Cut, and alleged horror in The Conjuring 2.
Gods of Egypt is more like “Gods of CGI” as Gerard Butler takes the lead as Set, the merciless god of darkness, who has taken over the throne of Egypt and plunged the once peaceful and prosperous empire into chaos and conflict. Few dare to rebel against him.
That is until a young thief, whose love was taken captive by the god, seeks to dethrone and defeat Set with the aid of the powerful god Horus.
Well, that’s the plot on IMDB but I didn’t get a whisker of that from this trailer which just throws endless CGI about and takes in Brenton Thwaites, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Courtney Eaton, Abbey Lee, Geoffrey Rush, Rufus Sewell, Elodie Yung, Chadwick Boseman, Bruce Spence, Emma Booth and Bryan Brown.
Gods of Egypt has been delayed seveal months until now. Is it worth watching? Check out our review!
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Read our review!
Tale of Tales looks to be like a Grimm’s fairytale that goes just a bit further to be as less syrupy-sweet as possible, and so, for me, might actually be worth watching.
It’s director Matteo Garrone’s first English-language movie and interweaves three separate story strands bookended by brief bits in which Italians Alba Rohrwacher and Massimo Ceccherini will play a street circus family. In one tale Salma Hayek will play a jealous queen who forfeits her husband’s life. In another, Vincent Cassel plays a king whose passion is stoked by two mysterious sisters.
Sorcerers and fairies, fearsome monsters, ogres and old washerwomen, acrobats and courtesans are the protagonists of this loose interpretation of the celebrated tales of Giambattista Basile.
The cast also stars Toby Jones, John C Reilly, Shirley Henderson, Hayley Carmichael, Hayley Carmichael, Stacy Martin, Bebe Cave and Jessie Cave, with a screenplay from Garrone, plus Edoardo Albinati, Ugo Chiti and Massimo Gaudioso.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
The Violators is a new British film starring Lauren McQueen and Brogan Ellis in the lead roles, and written and directed by Helen Walsh.
When Shelly meets Rachel, two dysfunctional girls from radically opposed backgrounds set off on a collision course that will leave one of them shattered, the other re-born. Set in the forsaken wastelands of Cheshire’s little-seen urban overspill, The Violators charts a teenage girl’s path from battle-hardened cynicism to the hope of a better life.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Down By Love (aka Eperdument) stars Blue Is The Warmest Colour’s Adèle Exarchopoulos. The film was notorious for being packed with sex, but wasn’t very good. However, Ms Exarchopoulos was one of the best things about it.
Based on a true story, this Down By Love tells the tale of the impossible love between prison director Jean Firmino (Guillaume Gallienne) and one of its female inmates, Anna (Adèle Exarchopoulos).
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Long Way North
1882, Saint Petersburg. Sasha, a young Russian aristocrat, has always been fascinated by her grandfather’s life as an adventurer. A renowned explorer, he designed a magnificent arctic ship, but he hasn’t returned from his last expedition to the North Pole. To save her family’s honor, Sasha runs away. Headed towards the Great North, she follows her grandfather’s trail in search of his famous ship.
I’m not always a fan of animation, but this isn’t the usual crap that gets served up for kids, and actually reminds me of the ’90s videogame Another World.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
The Keeping Room
Left without men in the dying days of the American Civil War, three Southern women – two sisters (Brit Marling, Hailee Steinfeld) and one African-American slave (Muna Otaru) – must fight to defend their home and themselves from two rogue soldiers who have broken off from the fast-approaching Union Army.
Also starring Sam Worthington, there’s definitely some intrigue in this movie, so I want to check it out at some point.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Barbershop 2: The Next Cut has the premise of: It’s been more than 10 years since our last appointment at Calvin’s Barbershop. Calvin (Ice Cube) and his longtime crew are still there, but the shop has undergone some major changes. Most noticeably, our once male-dominated sanctuary is now co-ed…
Yes, over 10 years, and no-one’s missed it. In fact, 13 years… unlucky for everyone.
This supposed comedy also stars Anthony Anderson, Regina Hall, Garcelle Beauvais, Deon Cole, Sean Patrick Thomas, Cedric the Entertainer and somehow also stars Nicki Minaj in a major role, plus one-word-named individuals Common, Eve and Tyga.
Alas, this looks to be yet another lazy US comedy where the predominantly black cast keep pointing out that they’re all black as well as dropping in the word “nigger” whenever they feel like it. Haven’t we grown out of that now??
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
The Conjuring 2 is the unimaginatively-titled sequel to 2013’s The Conjuring which looked tedious as hell and caused me to avoid it.
Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) and Ed Warren (Fargo‘s Patrick Wilson) travel to north London to help a single mother raising four children alone in a house plagued by malicious spirits.
Also starring Frances O’Connor, Simon McBurney and Maria Doyle Kennedy, there are zero scares in the trailer and it all plays out exactly as you’d expect with everyone just turning up for the cheque, including director James Wan.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.