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This weekend there are seven new films out for you to choose from: censored comedy in Grimsby, spooky horror in The Forest, plus three dramas – Exposed, The Benefactor and Secret In Their Eyes.
Grimsby (aka The Brothers Grimsby) first released a trailer last November and with a lot of action going on, my first thoughts were: “OMG! This looks awesome!”
The simple premise is that a new assignment forces a top spy (played by Mark Strong) to team up with his football hooligan brother (Sacha Baron Cohen). I can take or leave Cohen, but Strong is usually worth a watch.
Directed by Louis Leterrier, written by Sacha Baron Cohen, Phil Johnston and Peter Baynham, and also starring Isla Fisher, Annabelle Wallis, Penélope Cruz, Rebel Wilson, David Harewood, Ian McShane, Scott Adkins, Gabourey Sidibe and Tamsin Egerton.
Alas, while I was sold on going to watch this in the cinema, I then learned that the studio have CENSORED the film down from an 18-cert to a 15-cert. So…
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss! (in its censored form)
The Forest is one of those horror films where lots of spooky stuff is a-happening, and right in the thick of it is Sara (Natalie Dormer – The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1), because her sister is travelling to a place known as The Suicide Forest to… y’know, commit suicide.
However, it’s a very dangerous place and Sara is told that no-one will be free to accompany her because “Spirits cannot rest there. They come back… Angry!” and that whatever you do… stay on the path!
The Forest is directed by Jason Zada and scriptwriting credits come from David S Goyer (Man of Steel, The Dark Knight Rises, Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice – so he likes his Batman and Superman nonsense), Ben Ketai (30 Days Of Night: Dark Days), Nick Antosca and Sarah Cornwell, and it also stars also stars Taylor Kinney, Yukiyoshi Ozawa, Eoin Macken, Rina Takasaki and Stephanie Vogt.
Usually, films that aren’t Oscar/BAFTA contenders, and which get released in January/February, aren’t worth a light. This looks like it could be enjoyable hokum, though.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Exposed was formerly titled “Daughter Of God” and, after witnessing a miracle, a young Latina woman experiences strange things as police detective Detective Scott Galban (Keanu Reeves) searches for the truth behind his partner’s death.
The film is directed by Declan Dale, who co-wrote it with Gee Malik Linton, and it also stars Ana de Armas, Mira Sorvino, Christopher McDonald and Laura Gómez. I’m not rushing to see it, though, as it doesn’t look great.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
The Benefactor stars Richard Gere as philanthropist Franny… hang on, his name is “Franny??!!” WTF?! Oh well, let’s go with it. The trailer didn’t mention his name, you see and I’m having a hard time getting past the ridiculousness of it all.
Anyhoo, he meddles in the lives of newly-married couples in an attempt to relive his past, with this film affecting Olivia (Dakota Fanning) and Luke (Theo James – Divergent).
The film is written and directed by Andrew Ranzi and also stars The Wire‘s Clarke Peters.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
Secret In Their Eyes looks to be a predictable and dull yarn, but with a big, well-known cast. And also one which tells you all you need to know about it in the space of two minutes.
It tells the tale of a tight-knit team of FBI investigators, along with their District Attorney supervisor, and it’s all is suddenly torn apart when they discover that one of their own teenage daughters has been brutally murdered, the daughter of Jess (Julia Roberts).
Now, thirteen years later, after obsessively searching every day for the elusive killer, Ray (Chiwetel Ejiofor) finally uncovers a new lead that he’s certain can permanently resolve the case, nail the vicious murderer, and bring long-desired closure to his team. No one is prepared, however, for the shocking, unspeakable secret that will reveal the enduring, destructive effects of personal vengeance on the human soul.
So, yes, it sounds terrible, and that’s even BEFORE we get to the part about THIRTEEN YEARS LATER, AFTER RAY HAS BEEN SEARCHING EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE KILLER…. as if he’s got nothing better to do with his time.
Secret in Their Eyes also stars Nicole Kidman, Dean Norris, Michael Kelly and Lyndon Smith and god help you if you pay to go and see this sorry mess at the cinema.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.