Pet centres around loner Seth (Dominic Monaghan) who works in a dog pound by day, then chances across young waitress Holly (Ksenia Solo) and tries to chat her up, preteding he went to college with her – albeit the year above – when he clearly looks like a stalker and, in real life, is eleven years older than her (not eleventy-one, despite his Lord of the Rings connections).
Early on, he’s given the life advice “If you want something, take it”, and since he’s unable to take home an Alsatian he loves at the pound because his flat’s landlord doesn’t allow pets, he need a ‘Pet’ of his own – cue Holly, who’s feeling vulnerable because of her fractious relationship with ex-boyfriend Eric (Nathan Parsons), an ex because he cheated on her with the family pet…. nah, just kidding. He did the dirty with another woman – the film is not an 18-certificate due to beastiality 😉
However, it gets ridiculous in that she’s barely in the cage a day before she turns into a gibbering wreck and the film takes almost every predictable step in the captive booklet, so just about any ‘surprise’ in the film has an end result you can see coming a mile off.
In addition, late on, we see that the only ‘lock’ on the cage is a 4-digit combination bike lock. Since she’s locked in 24/7, she could bloody guess that by going through each option in the matter of a few hours!!! FFS!
There is a reason for why he does what he does, but to get to that point makes you invoke a preposterous suspension of disbelief, and at the point where I saw a twist happening, it improved slightly until it reminded me screenwriter Jeremy Slater (also responsible for the terrible 2015 Fantastic Four reboot which 20th Century Fox only made because they were contractually-obliged to make three movies in ten years and there was no public appetite for more after 2007’s Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer flopped) had ripped off something else – but I’ll hide that with a spoiler…
With an 18-cert for some particularly grisly moments, overall, this film wasn’t a complete waste of 94 minutes, but it does little we’ve not seen before.
And I must’ve been so unentranced by the film that after noticing that two men in the credits were just named as ‘Himself’, the assignment for the credits of the character of Radio Hostess, and Rachel Robinson who portrayed her, that I noticed these were reversed in error, as if ‘Radio Hostess’ was the real name of the character Rachel Robinson.
It’s time to say “Auf Wiedersehen, Pet” to this release.
The film is presented in the original 2.35:1 widescreen theatrical ratio and is in 1080p high definition, and is a cracking picture as you’d expect for a modern film, with no issues whatsoever, bringing the mostly dark locations in the clarity required.
The sound is in 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio, but apart from a brief bit of split-surround ambience in one point, I didn’t get anything else of note out of them. All dialogue is clear as a bell.
Similar to Signature Entertainment’s Rupture, there are no extras on the disc, neither are their subtitles. Chapters are ridiculously thin at just six over the whole film. I always go by the rule of thumb of one every five minutes.
Kudos to Signature for putting out a Blu-ray for a title which never saw the light of day in the cinema – and an increasing number of films are going DVD-only as streaming becomes the new way for the HD version to be seen – but why did so little thought go into the rest of the presentation?
Oh, and a big negative for putting trailers for other films on the disc BEFORE the main menu, like the old days of rental video.
Running time: 94 minutes
Studio: Signature Entertainment
Released: March 13th 2017
Picture: 1080p High Definition
Sound: DTS HD Master Audio 5.1
Disc Format: BD25
Director: Carles Torrens
Producers: Nick Phillips and Kelly Martin Wagner
Screenplay: Jeremy Slater
Music: Zacarías M de la Riva
Seth: Dominic Monaghan
Holly: Ksenia Solo
Claire: Jennette McCurdy
Nate: Da’Vone McDonald
Eric: Nathan Parsons
Mrs. Gundy: Janet Song
Homeless Guy: Gary J Tunnicliffe
Britt: Denise Garcia
Jessup: John Ross Bowie
Detective Meara: Sean Blakemore
Nosy Old Lady: Irene Rosen
Himself: Alasdair Martin
Himself: Harmony McElligott
Radio Hostess: Rachel Robinson