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A Town Called Malice takes us back to the ’80s – the best ever decade – where Gene Lord (Jack Rowan – Adulting: On The Edge) and Cindy Carter (Tahirah Sharif – The Tower) chatting in a London Wimpy, which somehow seems to still be open after midnight AND isn’t filled with post-nightclub revellers trying to get a late night burger while shouting a lot.
Move on a few weeks, and the local pub certainly looks like a typical open plan affair that I remember, when I was a kid and all the kids had to sit in a room watching a magic show. I remember getting so bored, I drifted off in my chair and woke up in my bed at home!
But memories aside, and just as the two leads announce their engagement, one of the Lord brothers stumbles into the pub after being stabbed. Cue a load of angry Cockney accent and “It ends today!” from Jason Flemyng (Boiling Point) as Albert Lord, for a fight in the scrapyard, known as The Battle of Bermondsey. Yes, it’s like a Cinemascope Eastenders, and equally ridiculous.
Given that, at one point, a car arrives with The Buggles’ Video Killed The Radio Star playing – which reminded me of the opening to Grand Theft Auto Vice City – I soon realised that this drama just tries to get by on its Guy Ritchie-esque gangster pastiche by playing ’80s tunes, and I can do that anytime.
A Town Called Malice does also rather hop around the years, playing 1982’s D.I.S.C.O. by Ottawan later in the first episode, than it did for 1983’s Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This by The Eurythmics.
Add in Dougray Scott (Taken 3), who throws his Scots accent away for being a slimy Scouse bloke, and life is soon going to bring a conflicting relationship for the two leads, with circumstances leading to them living abroad… which is probably shot in Butlins on a budget, I presume.
In fact, faking awful Scouse accents seems to be the norm, lately, following ITV’s The Family Pile and Redemption.
Stupidly, there’s also a scene where someone apparently dies instantly from a gunshot to a shoulder, but as highlighted, on the plus side, there are a stack of tunes from the decade, as well as The Jam’s Going Underground and, of course, A Town Called Malice, one of the greatest songs ever written.
However, I’ve only watched one episode, and that was more than enough.
A Town Called Malice is not available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD, but streams on Sky Showcase from Thursday March 16th at 9am.
Thanks to our friends at Sky for the screener prior to broadcast.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 60 minutes per episode (8 episodes)
Release date: March 16th 2023
Studio: Sky Showcase
Format: 2.39:1
Series Directors: Jamie Donoughue, Joasia Goldyn, Sean Spencer
Producer: Barrington Paul Robinson
Creator: Nick Love
Writers: Nick Love, Matt Evans, John Jackson, Melissa Bubnic, Liz Lake
Music: Alfie Godfrey
Cast:
Gene Lord: Jack Rowan
Cindy Carter: Tahirah Sharif
Albert Lord: Jason Flemyng
Uncle Tony: Dougray Scott
Leonard Lord: Lex Shrapnel
Yasmin: Emma Louise Webb
Radio 1 DJ: Gary Davies
Mint Ma Lord: Martha Plimpton
Kelly Lord: Daniel Sharman
Carly Lord: Eliza Butterworth
Anthony Lord: George Jaques
D.I. Lindsay: Leanne Best
Barney: James Nelson-Joyce
PC Russo: Luke Tumber
Ernesto Alvarez: Ramiro Blas
PC Davidson: Joe Hughes
Farmer Juan: Domingo Beltran
Farmer Carlos: Juan Antonio Lopez
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.