Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania is out now, and I remember seeing Ant-Man in the cinema in 2015 and being completely less than impressed. As for the 2018 sequel, Ant-Man and the Wasp, that wasn’t much better.
Still, it can’t get any worse, right?
After 25 years in the Quantum Realm, Janet Van Dyne (Michelle Pfeiffer – Mother!) is back on Terra Firma, and Scott’s daughter, Cassie – now played by Kathryn Newton (The Map Of Tiny Perfect Things) – has upset everyone once again by landing in jail after shrinking a police car, as part of a peaceful protest, I guess the kind of peaceful protest that happened on January 6th, 2021, which Democrats still get upset about to this day.
Personally, I don’t go back and rewatch old Marvel movies, so I thought this bunch had disappeared into the Quantum Realm at the end of No.2, but a different way, so why are they out and about now? Then again, a lot happens in this cinematic universe. Either way, Cassie has a project in the basement and wants to show everyone. As such, what looks like a carbon copy of Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, everyone disappears into her device and they’re all back in CGI-land once again.
We’re told it’s a secret universe with no sense of time or space, and how you need to “drink ooze” in order to understand what the inhabitants are saying: So, that’s an idea nicked straight from the Babelfish in Douglas Adams’ Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Similarly, another scene stole the idea of the Infinite improbability drive. Yes, that’s the level we’re at when the budget is only $200m!
In fact, it may as well be Raquel Welch’s One Million Years BC in that way it carries on, and I’m sure that film didn’t have a $200m budget.
NOTE: The second of the three sections in this review details some of the major characters in the film, so you may want to skip it if you care about potential spoilers.
There’s also not much humour. In fact, I can only remember one joke, and that was one character referencing another as to the fact they were “being a dick”. Yep, $200m, folks…
Of the cast, Michelle Pfeiffer is great, and still looks amazing, so I’m glad there’s a LOT of her in this, sometimes feeling even more like there is of the dull Paul Rudd (Ghostbusters: Afterlife). Meanwhile, the others aren’t so much. Ms Newton is okay, but Rudd, Michael Douglas (Unlocked) and Evangeline Lilly (The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies) are really phoning it in.
The big baddie this time round is Kang The Conqueror (Jonathan Majors), who sounds like a cartoon villain. The actor is okay, but he doesn’t seem particularly threatening for someone who’s supposed to have been exiled because he’s a mass murderer, and when we have the group split into two sections – one with Scott and Cassie, and the other with Hank, Janet and Hope – it all feels like an episode of Scooby Doo.
The actor is fine, but he doesn’t have the gravitas of Josh Brolin’s Thanos when he declares:
- Kang: “You want to stop what is coming… but it IS coming.”
Cassie: “What’s coming?”
Kang: “Me… LOTS of me.”
This isn’t helped when Corey Stoll (Ratched) returns, but as MODOK, now a stretched head on a tiny body that can fly around badly. He’s so ineffectual that his appearance has even been lampooned online with his face replaced by George Costanza from Seinfeld! (below)
Not even Bill Murray (The Greatest Beer Run Ever) can save this nonsense, as Lord Krylar, an old acquaintance of Janet’s from her time down there, while at other times, we may as well be in Star Wars‘ Cantina Bar with some Ewoks.
Now, onto the audience situation. Again, I was in screen 8, and last time, there was an irritating man with a wife and two kids, and the man was always using his phone. This time – and again sat at the end – was a man with a wife and THREE kids. The woman with him was in a wheelchair, who was able to get to their seat with some help, unlike the woman last week, who was able to manage quite well to get to the toilet and back, frequently. So, definitely different people, if still in the exact same seats…
Yep, definitely a different family…. Erm….
Well, not so? The man still got out his phone and used it periodically again! Either it’s another irritant, or it’s the same man, and he has two families!
Either way, he needs a visit from Kang!
Oh, and the mid- and post-credits scenes:
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania is in cinemas now, but isn’t yet available to pre-order on any home format.
Running time: 124 minutes
Release date: February 17th 2023
Format: 2.39:1, 1.90:1 (IMAX version: 35 mins) (ARRIRAW (4.5K), Dolby Vision, IMAX, Anamorphic Panavision, Redcode RAW 8K)
Cinema: Cineworld Didsbury
Director: Peyton Reed
Producers: Stephen Broussard, Kevin Feige
Screenplay: Jeff Loveness
Music: Christophe Beck
Scott Lang / Ant-Man: Paul Rudd
Hope Van Dyne / The Wasp: Evangeline Lilly
Dr. Hank Pym: Michael Douglas
Janet Van Dyne: Michelle Pfeiffer
Kang The Conqueror: Jonathan Majors
Cassie Lang: Kathryn Newton
Lord Krylar: Bill Murray
Jentorra: Katy O’Brian
Quaz: William Jackson Harper
Xolum: James Cutler
Veb: David Dastmalchian
Jimmy Woo: Randall Park
Patrol Police Officer / On-Set M.O.D.O.K: Mark Weinman
M.O.D.O.K.: Corey Stoll (uncredited)
Crystal Man: Mike Wood (uncredited)
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.