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Black Widow is the uninspired title for its long-awaited masturbatory-fuelled movie featuring black leather-clad Russian Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson), who speaks like an American, and specialises in kicking. Along the way, she’ll encounter fellow compatriots …
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Fantasy Island is given a horror reboot, where the enigmatic Mr. Roarke (Michael Peña), makes the secret dreams of his lucky guests come true at a luxurious but remote tropical resort. But when the fantasies …
Continue readingScoob! brings the unnecessary back to the big screen in cartoon form, and apparently this is the first full-length, theatrical animated Scooby-Doo adventure. Wow, who cares? Apparently, it reveals how Scooby Doo (Frank Welker – …
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Half-Life: Alyx is something we’ve kinda been waiting a long time for, especially since we’ve not had a new Half Life game come out between 2007’s Half Life 2 Episode 2, but this one is… …
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Vienna Blood uses the age-old trope of two individuals having to work together, even though they clearly don’t get on, so it’s a ‘marriage’ of necessity. However, on the plus side, it’s set in 1906, …
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Sonic The Hedgehog Movie… yes, you thought you’d got away with it, didn’t you? No, they redesigned him just to look a lot more actually LIKE Sonic, but… the film still looks like a complete …
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The Banker is based on the true story of two African American entrepreneurs – Joe Morris (Samuel L Jackson – Avengers: Endgame) and Bernard Garrett (Anthony Mackie – Black Mirror: Striking Vipers and also all …
Continue readingThe Invisible Man 2020 looks like a candidate for an early stinker for next year’s releases as it follows Cecilia (Elisabeth Moss – The Handmaid’s Tale, Us), who receives the news of her abusive ex-boyfriend’s …
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The Grudge 2020 – it’s back again for another reboot, after the Sarah Michelle Gellar reboot in 2004, and based on the Japanese original from 2002. Entertaininment Weekly came out with some complete horseplop about …
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Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise Of Skywalker has a final trailer out now, and I can’t get excited for it, knowing what a dumpster fire The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi were. To …
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