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Dom Robinson reviews
Network Videos
- Cert:
- Cat.no: 7952095
- Running time: 150 minutes
- Year: 1959-1983
- Pressing: 2001
- Region(s): 0, PAL
- Chapters: 157
- Sound: Mono
- Languages: English
- Subtitles: None
- Fullscreen: 4:3
- 16:9-Enhanced: No
- Macrovision: Yes
- Disc Format: DVD 9
- Price: £14.99
- Extras: None, but does it matter?
Director, Producer, etc.
- various
“Charley Says”isn’t your conventional DVD, but it’s certainly an essential one.
The very title will tell you all you need to know if you’re age hovers aroundthe 30 mark, or possibly older, as it combines 157 public information filmsfrom between 1959 to 1983, with a complete track listing on the inside cover.
A selection of the highlights reveals :
- “Charley Says”: The “title track”, so to speak, of the DVD, withsix of the best including the time when Charley nearly drowned after falling inthe water and the time when Vera and Dave asked “I” to go for a picnic andCharley said “I” had better tell his Mum where they were going, but she wastalking to the milkman for so bloody long that by the time she said yes,Vera and Dave had gone (cue “uh-oh” music).
Does the kid in these adverts have a name? It’s just “I”, here. Perhaps thewriter had seen the future and a certain classic film, but wasn’t allowed tocall the cat “Withnail” ?
- Green Cross Code: Dave Prowse: Darth Vader, himself, lectures kidson the danger of getting from A to B without observing these rules. However,if you were suddenly faced by a man with a dodgy haircut and a green “X” onhis chest you’d know exactly what to do – you’d run a mile!
And even more so if you bounced off his crotch in the second advert (No.153)which clearly distorts his voice to that of someone else’s!
- Protect and Survive: Just paint yourself white to deflect the blast,if you’re a hippy called Neil. For the rest of us, follow the advice dealt outto Karen Meagher and Reece Dinsdale in the excellentThreads:move to the safest room in the house, put out all fires, lock all windows,close all curtains, then put your head between your legs and kiss your assgoodbye!
Come off it. If the bomb drops the chances are we’ll all snuff it. So when youhear the bomb warning, say “Sod it!”, turn up the amplifier, blast out theProdigy’s “Smack My Bitch Up” at top volume, switch on the Playstation 2 andhave your last crack atRed Factionbefore the roof caves in!
Oh, and the musical crescendo at the end of the adverts still sends a shiverdown my spine.
Other classic ads include: Swimming with David Wilkie, Teenagers Learn to Swim- Essex girl dumps Dave for Mike who “swims like a fish”, “Clunk Click on everytrip”, “Think Once, Think Twice, Think Bike”, drinking and driving “Stupid Git”with the other Nasty Nick (Cotton), John Altman and one for Tony Blair: 1972’s “Foot and MouthPrecautions”.
If Chris Morris asks you
to take part in an episode of Brass Eye…
It’s no surprise to learn that all the ads are in standard 4:3, the sound isin mono and the quality of both is far from perfect, but none of that reallymatters. What matters is that it’s quality nostalgia for all and you can’tafford to miss out on this title.
There are no extras on top of the adverts, apart from the ability to play themin random order.
“Charley Says” go out and buy this DVD!
PICTURE QUALITY
SOUND QUALITY
EXTRAS
It’s not quality that
counts, it’s quantity!
Isn’t 157 ads enough?OVERALL
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Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.