Crew Girl tells the tale of Teagan Tao (Miku Martineau – Bet), who’s hot but a bit of a loveable klutz.
Her Dad defrauded people out of millions of dollars, did a runner and left Teagan and her Mum, Ella (Jessica Paré – Brooklyn), with the cops. Since the money belonged to parents of her friends, they’ve all abandoned her. Since I hate fraudsters with a passion, I hope someone tracks him down and dissects the fucker… while he’s still alive.
However, it means they have no choice but to leave Los Angeles and go back to mum’s hometown of Eagle’s Cove to live in a supposed craphole that belonged to her late parents… even though it’s not that bad, and surprisingly clean.
Still, the whole “Daddy appears to be a wrong’un, so we have to slum it” is basically The Railway Children, except here, it doesn’t take long to literally crash into the lap of the town hunk, because women must need a man in this town to feel validated.
Teagan is very athletic and into rowing, but despite the almost-slum digs, her new school, Easton Prep, is basically posher than Hogwarts and makes this show feel like it should be called Rowing 90210. But given that they’re broke, and Mum’s applying for a job in a local store that sells tat, how the hell can they afford it? It looks ten times more affluent than her last one in L.A.!
Oh, and when you find out how much it costs per term, it’s on a par with the expense of Eton!
Meanwhile, since there’s no girl’s team, she wants to join the men’s… but the sexist school won’t let her, even though the assistant coach who told her this is a woman. Confusing… except that you know this will soon get overturned, otherwise there’d not be much of a show.
She spends her spare time boating and looking lovely, while of the rest of the cast, Juliet Morny (Olga Petsa) is the token bisexual character, and looks very androgynous. And she drives the flashiest car around!
Oh, and there’s also a party where everyone drinks from big red cups, but it’s clear that no-one’s drinking any liquid!
Overall, Crew Girl is basically background wallpaper while you’re scrolling through your TokTik. It’s also not very good, but since it’s an easy watch, it’ll probably run for five seasons.
Thanks to our friends at Netflix for the screener prior to release.
Crew Girl is on Netflix from today.
It’s not yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD, but when it is, it will be listed on the New DVD, Blu-ray, 3D and 4K releases UK page.
Check out the trailer below:
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 40-55 minutes per episode (8 episodes)
Release date: September 10th 2026
Studio: Netflix
Format: 2.39:1
Series Directors: Norman Buckley, Amanda Tapping, Jacquie Gould, Alysse Leite-Rogers, Simon Barry
Producer: Jason Fischer
Writers: Jason Ip, Jennica Harper, Julian Doucet, Vivian Lin
Music: Adam King
Cast:
Teagan Tao: Miku Martineau
Ella Emerson-Tao: Jessica Paré
Josh Regis: Samuel Braun
Cam Dillinger: Kyle Clark
Coach Matt Hayden: Thomas Cadrot
Noah Bainbridge: Riley Davis
Juliet Morny: Olga Petsa
Perry Chou: Connor Wong
Damon Quaid: Vincent Muller
Britney Garner: Sage Linder
David Tao: Byron Lawson
Richard Regis: Niall Matter
Ryder Regis: Connor Paton
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.