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Harold And The Purple Crayon is like an episode of Catchphrase – “Say what you see” – and sees the titular character owning this particular drawing device, which he’s had since he was a child, but who drew him? Plus, all his life, his story has been narrated to him by an old man, but suddenly, the voice stopped. Why? He needs to find out, which necessitates a trip to the real world.
I’d no idea about the books prior to this film – since it never crossed over to the UK, but I’ve since learned that Harold was just a child back then, and this film takes that forward by depicting Harold as a middle-aged adult, in the form of Zachary Levi (Chicken Run 2: Dawn of the Nugget).
Plus, ultimately, can Harold get back home?
The crayon idea sounded intriguing to me, because it reminded me of the ’80s sci-fi series Automan, with that chap owning a ‘cursor’ which could simply draw a car, helicopter, etc, at his command. In fact, I loved the show so much, that I actually DREAMED I had a cursor. You can imagine how bloody disappointed I was when I woke up!
For want of a plot, Harold, along with best friend Moose (Lil Rel Howery – Paw Patrol: The Mighty Movie) – and tagging behind, Porcupine (Tanya Reynolds – from Channel 4’s I Hate You, which was terrible, but I spent part of the film wondering if the actress was the godawful Phoebe Waller-Bridge. She wasn’t, so that’s a plus) – chance upon single mum Terry (Zooey Deschanel – (500) Days Of Summer), who brings several 2024 clichés into the mix, since not only is her son, Mel (Benjamin Bottani), from a mixed-race relationship, but the script also ‘fridges’ her husband. Yep, kid, your Dad’s dead. Sorry about that.
However, there’s still a positive to come, since no longer do you need to call out the RAC to replace a flat tyre (I wouldn’t trust myself to replace one), Harold can just draw one for you! That does bring forth the question: Why doesn’t she have a spare tyre in the boot? To not have one (or an equivalent repair kit, in the cases of some cars) in the UK would actually be illegal.
Terry also laments her lot in life, because she was once a talented classical musician, playing piano like Myleene Klass, yet now is stuck in a dead-end job at a hypermarket; and her only potential suitor is overbearing librarian and aspiring writer Gary (Jemaine Clement – the awful Time Bandits remake).
I did despair when I saw Clement. He’s awful and has zero talent – like anyone from Flight of the Conchords, and from a distance, I was hoping he was actually The Actor Kevin Eldon.
As a few asides, this film has an odd moment when Harold writes another character’s phone number in the sky, but it’s a landline, and that person gets the calls on their mobile. Huh?
Plus, there’s a piece of classical music in The Flower Duet, as things go South in one scene, which I thought was previously used in one of the Deadpool films, but I appear to be mistaken. I’ve seen it in one action film before, anyway.
And there’s occasionally a decent quip, such as when Harold does something stupid, Terry asks him, “What were you thinking?!”, to which he replies, open and honestly, “Oh, I don’t do a lot of thinking”.
It could be seen as being a bit questionable early on, though, since no sooner do Harold and Moose meet Terry and Mel, that despite it being the middle of the day, they manage to secure a night’s stay at her house.
Now, if you were a single mother, would you invite two middle-aged men to stay the night in your house, who you’ve only just met, and for whom one wants to show your young son their impressive purple implement?
Harold And The Purple Crayon has had a bad press, and it’s not brilliant, but not terrible. It certainly didn’t deserve the lack of audience I experienced, in that for a Sunday afternoon screening, there was just one other person in the auditorium.
As such, Columbia Pictures are taking a bath on this, and this is going to be a box-office bomb. They clearly didn’t have much faith in it, given that its release date has been delayed, first from January 27th 2023, and then June 30th 2023.
Plus, despite the delays, it’s still bad timing for its release, because if parents are taking their kids to the cinema during the summer holidays, some will opt for Inside Out 2 and/or Despicable Me 4, while ill-prepared families who didn’t realise that little Johnny needed to be 15 years of age and/or needed proof of age if they are, for Deadpool And Wolverine, this is seeing Twisters getting a resurgence in its third week. That was a poor action film, but it still slightly beats this one, which, itself, is buoyed by the presence of Zooey.
Also, check out the video below for info about the post-credits moment you missed!
Harold And The Purple Crayon is in cinemas now, and is available to pre-order on Blu-ray and DVD, ahead of its release date TBA.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 92 minutes
Release date: August 2nd 2024
Studio: Columbia Pictures
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 (X-OCN XT (6K))
Cinema: Odeon Trafford Centre
Rating: 4/10
Director: Carlos Saldanha
Producer: John Davis
Screenplay: David Guion, Michael Handelman
Novel: Crockett Johnson
Music: Batu Sener
Cast:
Harold: Zachary Levi
Terry: Zooey Deschanel
Moose: Lil Rel Howery
Mel: Benjamin Bottani
Porcupine: Tanya Reynolds
Gary: Jemaine Clement
Narrator: Alfred Molina
Detective Love: Pete Gardner
Junior Detective Silva: Camille Guaty
Prasad: Ravi Patel
Ms. Hemm: Zele Avradopoulos
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.