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Heart Eyes refers to the name that’s been given to a silent killer who goes round town in the run up to Valentine’s Day, bumping off couples, whilst wearing a mask with glowing heart-shaped eyes, and after the likes of Scream and Terrifier, no doubt this will also result in similar masks coming around next Halloween.
He first makes his presence felt in an opening wedding proposal scene, with the best head explosion since 1989’s Licence to Kill.
This is the 3rd year of the Heart Eyes killer where Ally (Olivia Holt – Totally Killer) works in advertising, for demanding boss Crystal Cane (Michaela Watkins – Brigsby Bear), and fancies Jay (Mason Gooding – I Want You Back), one of their first discussions being the merits of plastic straws against of paper ones (well, Trump’s bringing the former back), and why she carries around a metal one with her at all times.
Investigating the baddie are detectives Zeke Hobbs (Devon Sawa – Escape Plan 3) and Jeanine Shaw (Jordana Brewster – Fast X), leading to an amusing moment when Ally pauses and asks, “…Hobbs and Shaw?? Like the movie?!”, to which they both look puzzled and reply, “Nah, haven’t seen it.” 😀
However, why does the police station have such terrible lighting? Everything’s in the dark! I don’t see this as being some sort of art-house movie.
Heart Eyes has some great gory kills (as I’d expect from an 18-certificate, since they’re quite rare, these days), and only cost $18m to make, so I can see a sequel coming.
Now on to an audience hassle, where I stopped someone from Instagramming their food!
At the Odeon, I was already comfortable in my Premiere seat, in one of those screens where the Premiere seats are in the middle of Standard seats, and normally the kind of seating arrangements I hate, because that row just behind the rear Premiere row can attract the biggest wankers.
This time, though, it was a fellow Premiere seat member, as just before the film started, two women came in and sat towards the end of my row.
I’ll avoid movie spoilers, obviously, but it’s safe to say that it’s one of those films where once the big opening segment is done, it then treads water for 20 minutes while it introduces the main characters, before anything interesting starts happening again.
However, despite those two coming in and seeing the Google “please turn off your phones” advert, then while the first few minutes of the film were happening, the one closest to me appeared to be filming the screen. Then I saw her turn the screen down towards her food. Obviously, she’s not filming the ceiling, so I figured she’d filmed herself giving an introduction before then showing her food!
In a similar auditorium, I had a similar situation for Terrifier 3, as you can see in that review, but in this film’s case, I just said in a normal volume voice, “Can you put your phone away, please?”
Now, she did – save for one brief text about an hour later – but she gave me such a shocked, open-mouthed look, as if to say, “How dare you?!”
Well, yes, I dare, especially when you have zero awareness for there being other people around you. And I’ll KEEP daring! Maybe next time, I’ll get a Heart Eyes Killer mask, as seen in the film, too!
The film features a mid-credits scene, as well as somethingat the end of the credits. For the info, check out the video below.
Heart Eyes is in cinemas now, but isn’t yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD. However, once announced, it will appear on the New DVD Blu-ray 3D and 4K releases UK list.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 97 minutes
Release date: February 14th 2025
Studio: Sony Pictures Entertainment
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1
Rating: 7.5/10
Director: Josh Ruben
Producers: Greg Gilreath, Adam Hendricks, Christopher Landon
Screenplay: Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon, Michael Kennedy
Music: Jay Wadley
Cast:
Ally McCabe: Olivia Holt
Jay Simmonds: Mason Gooding
Monica: Gigi Zumbado
Detective Jeanine Shaw: Jordana Brewster
Detective Zeke Hobbs: Devon Sawa
David: Yoson An
Nico: Latham Gaines
Tommy: Chris Parker
Patrick: Alex Walker
Adeline: Lauren O’Hara
Dana: Molly Curnow
Dylan: Dylan Thuraisingham
Collin: Ben Black
Sienna: Karishma Grebneff
Barista: Esaú Mora
Reporter Gigi Sieczkowski: Jessica Underwood Varma
Chief Richard Hartley: James Gaylyn
Crystal Cane: Michaela Watkins
Jane: Antonia Prebble
Drive-In Movie Patron: Josh Ruben
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.