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Heart of Stone is a new Gal Gadot actioner, which wasn’t available for preview before release, which always sets alarm bells ringing.
Cliches begin early, as non-field agent Rachel Stone (Gadot – The Flash) needs to get closer to bad guy Mulvaney (Enzo Cilenti – The Serpent Queen) so she can hack his phone, so, of course, you can bet your house on the fact that she’ll end up being a field agent, like Chloe in ‘24‘, rather than just sitting in the office all day.
But Stone has a hidden trick up her sleeve, since she’s actually a secret agent with the call-sign 9 Of Hearts, and has been embedded in MI6. Her real employer – The Charter – has a system called The Heart, which provides percentage accuracy as to how successful various outcomes will be, rather like when Al would talk to Gushi in Quantum Leap.
Hence, Stone… Heart… Heart of Stone… no, you shut up.
First, though, for some good elements to this, since we do get Jing Lusi (Man Vs Bee) on her team, and she is always so damn hot. And it’s a toss-up between her and another being the best part of this whole sorry affair… and that it Fleetwod Mac’s Everywhere. Sorry, Mac, you come second to Ms Lusi.
But some of the downsides…
- All the characters pretend to have chemistry
- Why write a script when a punch in the face will usually suffice?
- This film has such iffy CGI, even using it for lighting a gas hob!
- As for the resolution, I’m on the 4K plan, and this is looking like SD!
- Sophie Okonedo‘s (Chimerica) character has hair all over the place, and looks like retired newsreader Moira Stuart!
- Glenn Close (Hillbilly Elegy) must’ve had a spare afternoon to turn up as a government high-up member.
- There’s also a planned theft of the Heart by a certain nefarious individual, and naturally, you can just take the Heart out of one system and intgrate it with another, without any installation issues. Try that with Windows 10!
- Heart Of Stone has such a predictable script – a megalomaniac baddie, who even other baddies realise is a wrong ‘un.
- Overall, this is just a series of ridiculous set-pieces that don’t join up together.
There’s also one bit that really did grind my gears, and… (well, it’s a spoiler)
Heart of Stone is on Netflix now, but isn’t yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD.
Check out the trailer below:
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 122 minutes
Release date: August 11th 2023
Studio: Netflix
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1
Score: 2/10
Director: Tom Harper
Producers: Bonnie Curtis, David Ellison, Gal Gadot, Dana Goldberg, Don Granger, Julie Lynn, Jaron Varsano
Screenplay: Greg Rucka, Allison Schroeder
Music: Steven Price
Cast:
Rachel Stone: Gal Gadot
Yang: Jing Lusi
Parker: Jamie Dornan
Bailey: Paul Ready
Mulvaney: Enzo Cilenti
Lars Monroe: Joe Reisig
Casanova: Luca Fiamenghi
Keya Dhawan: Alia Bhatt
Jack of Hearts: Matthias Schweighe
Control: Thomas Arnold
Sandra: Ruth Keeling
Ivo: Archie Madekwe
Nomad: Sophie Okonedo
Young Keya Dhawan: Arya Dolatrai
Niam Kharche: Neran Persaud
The Blond: Jon Kortajarena
Doctor: Giulia Innocenti
Usher: Roy Sampson
King of Clubs: BD Wong
King of Diamonds: Glenn Close
King of Spades: Mark Ivanir
Clara, Six of Hearts: Diana Yekinni
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.