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Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is a remake of the 1995 Robin Williams movie (which I still haven’t seen) and looks beyond terrible.
Four high-school kids come across the Jumanji videogame in their learning establishment’s basement, start playing it, and end up inside it.
The dorky ginger girl turns into the uber-hot Karen Gillan (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2), while the hot blonde turns into… er.. Jack Black. Yes, it’s sounding even worse isn’t it.
Shall I lower your expectations even more? The other two turn into Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart. Really? Kevin bloody Hart? I have more talent in my anus than he does in his entire body!
Where’s the original was based around a board game, in this one, the kids become the adult avatars they chose, discovering that you don’t just play Jumanji – you must survive it. To beat the game and return to the real world, they’ll have to go on the most dangerous adventure of their lives, discover what Alan Parrish (Williams’ character) left 20 years earlier, and they must change the way they think about themselves – or they’ll be stuck in the game forever.
Director: Jake Kasdan (Bad Teacher)
Writers: Chris McKenna, Jeff Pinkner, Scott Rosenberg, Erik Sommers
Also stars: Missi Pyle, Bobby Cannavale, Rhys Darby, Tim Matheson, Nick Jonas, Alex Wolff
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is released in the UK on December 26th. Go see something else.
Check out the trailer below and click on the poster for the full-size version:
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.