King And Conqueror tells ye a merry old tale of eating huge meals in badly-lit rooms, with Eddie Marsan, as King Edward, looking like he wandered in from The Winter King‘s set only just next door.
After decades of civil war, the country’s most powerful Earldoms – Wessex, Mercia and Northumbria – agree to crown a new King, while across the English Channel, the rival territories of feudal France engage in endless wars… and everyone in both countries is a shower-dodger.
In France, William of Normandy (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau – Headhunters) passes by a few people, but doesn’t always name-check them – even in English, but I guessed at King Henry of France, as I just about recognised Jean-Marc Barr, even though it’s been 40 years since The Big Blue.
Meanwhile, in England, people bark at each other as if it’s an episode of Eastenders.
When one person is captured, they’re offered the choic of “Hand or foot”? …as in, which would they prefer to be removed out of the two. That choice should be asked of anyone who goes low on The Chase.
However, there’s some modern parlance, such as when William’s having an injury looked at, and tells the doctor, “Any time now would be good”.
For James Norton, as Harold Godwinson, I hope this isn’t his audition to be the next James Bond. However, the violins in the music score do sound like they’re playing the initial sting from those movies! EEK! Has it been revealed?!
Overall, though, King And Conqueror is utterly uninvolving with conversations taking place with all the vim and vigour of a school play.
It does also seem odd that it’s just 50 minutes long. Presumably, a co-production with a commercial channel overseas? Ah, the CBS Studio logo at the end. That answers that.
Gritty BAFTA…
King and Conqueror begins tonight on BBC1 at 9.10pm, and will air on Sundays and Mondays for three weeks in total.
It’s not yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD, but when it is, it will be listed on the New DVD, Blu-ray, 3D and 4K releases UK page.
All episodes are now available on BBC iPlayer.
Series Directors: Baltasar Kormákur, Erik Leijonborg, Bálint Szentgyörgyi, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau
Writer/Creator: Michael Robert Johnson
Music: Högni Egilsson
Cast:
Harold Godwinson: James Norton
William of Normandy: Nikolaj Coster-Waldau
King Edward: Eddie Marsan
Lady Emma: Juliet Stevenson
Matilda of Normandy: Clemence Poesy
Edith: Emily Beecham
Godwin: Geoff Bell
Gytha: Clare Holman
Fitzosbern: Ingvar Sigurdsson
Sweyn: Elliot Cowan
Tostig: Luther Ford
Queen Gunhild: Bo Bragason
King Henry of France: Jean-Marc Barr
Morcar: Elander Moore
Odo: Léo Legrand
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.