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Mark Bubien reviews
20th Century Fox
- Cert: G
- Cat.no: 2000791
- Running time: 112 minutes
- Year: 1968
- Pressing: 2000
- Region(s): 1, NTSC
- Chapters: 28 plus extras
- Sound: Dolby Digital 5.1, Dolby Surround
- Languages: English
- Subtitles: English for the hearing impaired, Spanish
- Widescreen: 2.35:1
- 16:9-Enhanced: No
- Macrovision: Yes
- Disc Format: DVD 9
- Price: $23.99
- Extras : Photo Gallery, Original Theatrical Trailers
Director:
- Franklin J. Schaffner
Cast:
- Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, James Whitmore, James Daly, Linda Harrison
Let me start with the bad, and just get it out of the way right off the bat. For some reason that I cannot fathom, Fox chose to give away the ending of Planet of the Apes right there on the DVD box. And in a BIG way! So if you haven’t seen the movie, close your eyes when you pick it up (and close your eyes through the menus too!), or rent it from Netflix, where it arrives in a plain paper package.
That said, I’m gonna give away the ending too, but unlike Fox, I’m warning you ahead of time. First, let me jump right to the DVD details and I’ll cover stuff about the movie later.
When it comes to image and sound, Planet of the Apes spun nicely in my player. The movie does show a tad bit of wear, mainly in desaturated colors, but it looks very good overall. Crisp and clear. And let’s face it, this movie doesn’t rely on colors for impact anyway, so almost nothing has been lost over the years.
The 5.1 sound remix fares about the same. Not the most enveloping experience, but there really isn’t too much opportunity for rear-channel usage. That grating, post-modernist soundtrack, care of Jerry Goldsmith, does benefit from this new mix – though I must admit, I’m not too sure my nerves appreciated that you’ve-just-entered-the-Twilight-Zone feel (I have to wonder if this sonic sensation a coincidence, as Twilight Zone creator Rod Serling penned the screenplay).
Feature-wise, the Planet of the Apes is relatively bare-bones: a photo gallery, for example, that ranks as totally inane – I’m not sure how five pictures constitutes a “gallery.” Then again, given that the menu graphics provide a plethora of spoilers, I don’t think I would’ve wanted more features on this disc anyway!
Besides, Fox actually set aside a completely different disc for their real special feature. “Behind the Planet of the Apes,” included if you purchase the full-blown Planet of the Apes: The Evolution Box Set, is a two hour documentary produced for television. It details almost every aspect of the five Apes flicks. I, for one, always thought the series was planned as a whole, but the documentary set me straight! I don’t think there’s a single stone unturned here, which makes the Box Set a must-have for real Apes fans.
Now, when it comes to the movie iteself, I’m in a bit of a bind. (Yep, spoiler time!) Of course, there’s no denying that Planet of the Apes is a Science Fiction classic. A great concept from start to finish. And social commentary in the vein of the genre – though, it’s an annoyingly blatant bang on Fundamentalism, expressed in a backwards retelling of the infamous Scopes Monkey Trials (I kid you not!).
But here’s the deal. I saw Planet of the Apes as a kid. I mean like 10 or something. I remember the ending vividly because it was such a surprise. Noooo… Not because of that Statue of Liberty cameo. But because Taylor was so darned stupid. When he slammed his fist into the water, I had to ask my Mom, “Why is the astronaut so mad?” She said, “because he’s on Earth.” No duh, Mom! Or, more accurately, no duh, Taylor. I knew he was on Earth. And I was just a kid.
So what about Taylor??? I mean, I thought astronauts were supposed to be smart (and suddenly my 10-year-old mind realized that deductive reasoning gave me a big advantage over these futuristic space pilots).
I don’t remember what keyed me in on the “surprise” as a kid. But with DVD in hand, I found several things that just didn’t add up – things Taylor certainly should have caught. Not just one, but… you guessed it… Ten things…
Top-10 Things that Just Don’t Make Sense on the Planet of the Apes
- 10. Apes speaking.
9. Apes writing.
8. Apes speaking and writing perfect English.
7. Astronauts who think they’re 300 Light Years from Earth even though the Apes speak and write perfect English.
6. How a guy who gets shot in the throat by an Ape ends up President of the NRA.
5. If an Ape can have such a debonair English accent, why can’t I?
4. Why a guy caged up with a babe in a loin cloth would want to escape.
3. How 3 male astronauts were supposed to populate a planet with only 1 female.
2. Why anyone would sign onto a mission with such a low chick ratio.
1. How mankind survived long enough to achieve deep-space travel when the person in charge of the space program thinks three men can populate a planet with only one woman, but is still able to find three men stupid enough to sign onto a mission with such a low chick ratio anyway.
See what I mean? Stupid, stupid astronauts!
And while some of that same stupidity went into designing the case and menus of the Planet of the Apes DVD, it’s still a worthwhile endeavor on disc.
PICTURE QUALITY
SOUND QUALITY
EXTRAS
OVERALL Check out Mark’s homepage: www.storybytes.com.
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.