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Kirsten reviews
Ubisoft 
- Price: £39.99
- Players: 1-online
- Dolby Digital 5.1 sound: Yes
- Xbox Live-enabled: Yes
Ok now, if you dont like Star Wars or flashy lightsabre thingie which go woosh – then don’t even bother!
But if you do – then run out and get this!
So the characters you get to play with are odd people who you probably won’t have a clue who they are (except for chewie) but its still brilliant 🙂 It’s a runny around first person game, action adventure.
You start onboard some big ship (its not the stardestroyer as you’re a goody which is such a shame) in your underwear (im sure too many men make computer games – if a woman made it they’d have chastity belts and stuff) with some really pants guy who dies real soon and have to fight your way off – you aren’t too good at the start but as the game progresses you get better weapons and armour etc…. Throughout the game you get good or bad side points which make you more Jedi or more Sith – these depend on your actions at crucial points of the game – ie, if you choose to kill innocent people for no particular reason then i don’t really think thats going to count toward being a good person – do you!?
Helping people makes you good, being nice to people makes you good – but all in all it’s far too tempting to chop off someone’s head once you’ve stolen their money – yey if you want to be good make sure you lose the guy you land on the first planet with as soon as possible as he’s a moaning sod.
The basic story is you have concussion so don’t know who you are and you have to find some woman who is a really powerful jedi. That Mr Yoda (ah, bless his greenness) is relying on to use her battle tactic power to overthrow the sith bad guys so the Jedis win the war – simple eh!!! but ohhhhhh no – she escaped the ship and ended up on some random planet where the Sith rule (why cant games ever be simple – oh look there she is the end!) you and some guy run round trying to find her. this first planet’s quite good really as theres some kind of card game to earn credits (which you need to buy weapons etc) and a battle arena where you can just chop people up – FUN!! you have to steal a Sith uniform at some point so look cool for about 20 mins before you have to give it to someone else – damn shame!
In order to get her back theres loads of stuff you have to do, lots of it involving fighting evil things, Siths, battling gangs and gamoreans! yeyey i love piggies!
Eventually you have to race pods to get her back then your on your way. oh – the planet blows up at this point so you can’t return to it so make sure you do what you want on this level first as theres no going back!
There’s lots of planets to visit and do various Jedi-type stuff on them and you have to train as a Jedi before you can get anywhere near being a Sith – bummer! You get to join the Sith academy later though which is good but it doesnt matter what you do until the very last scene in the game where you find out you’re the ultimate baddy, Reven – the Sith lord, in charge of it all until those pesky Jedi’s mind tricked you into believing you were a Jedi – sigh – and theyre meant to be the good side! You choose to reinstate yourself as the big Sith in town or do them in basically! and after a big fight with another Sith who cheats like a c@*t it all over – your either king of Sith or king of Jedi – wooohoo! During the game you get different characters to choose to go on your missions with you (i bet you always wanted your own little gang!) some good ones some bad ones but eventually you’ll work out who you like fighting with best – you’ve got a life debt over Chewie so he always has to do as you say – yay!
The controls are actually pretty ok (i watch games, not play them, but always try to have a go – failing miserably of course!). I can walk in a straight line and even managed to slice a few people up. Graphics as with all Star Wars games: everything is out of this world and the xbox is just so crisp – special effects are amazing and I didnt mind sitting for the whole time while my hubby finished the game – good story line, and very hard to put down. It is a little on the short side though for such an epic series of films/games – but never the less – it’s great!
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Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.