My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of RIVALS!

Rivals Rivals is set in a world where everyone’s all posh and hoity-toity, opening with a couple – the male half being Rupert Campbell-Black (Alex Hassell) – having a bit of “how’s your father” in an airplane toilet, and as it’s the ’80s, women fancy insanely ugly men like the first case in point.

Oh, and AIDS is rife, so make sure if you’re doing the do, you put your hat and coat on!

For want of a plot, Tony Baddingham (David Tennant) wants Terry Wogan-like Declan O’Hara (Aidan Turner) to leave BBC and move to his channel (which is basically like ITV), with a view to satellite TV in the future, as the world of broadcasting is opening up.

That said, he’s told that if he wants to get good ratings, then since they’re opposite Top of the Pops, he needs to be “more popular than Jimmy Savile” – EEK!

However, in the world of telly, Tony and Rupert are…. yes, rivals, but in terms of the plot, there’s so little going on. It’s like one of those Netflix Japanese dramas where procrastination is the name of the game and they rarely get anywhere.






Instead, the series seeks to titilate, early on showing a brief snatch… oo-er, of Emily Atack‘s ample charms (as politician’s wife, Sarah Stratton) and Hassell’s chipolata, as they played tennis, making me wonder how come the woman on the plane was screaming with delight, when… well, perhaps it was cold on the day they got their rackets out!

Given how the sex scenes are very tame and obviously fake, maybe this would be shocking in the ’80s, but now, it doesn’t even take me back to that time, it just feels very “What the butler saw”.

So many so-called reviews are bloating on about “Oh, what a riotous romp!” etc, when quite frankly, once the supposed ‘sex’ scenes are done, there’s nothing else to attract your attention.

Rivals does have some great music, though, such as ZZ Top’s Gimme All Your Lovin, Wham!’s Wham Rap, and… erm… The Birdie Song!

Oh, there’s also Depeche Mode’s Just Can’t Get Enough, or perhaps in Rupert’s world on a nippy day, “Just Can’t Get It Up”?

So far, I’ve watched just two episodes out of the 8, but quite frankly, that’s enough. The plot is so sluggish, as I’ve mentioned, and unless I hear about anything amazing happening later, I’m checking out of this love hotel now.

Rivals begins on Friday October 18th on Disney+ with all episodes available on day one.


Rivals – Official Trailer – Disney+


Series Directors: Elliot Hegarty, Dee Koppang O’Leary, Alexandra Brodski
Producer: Eliza Mellor
Screenplay: Dominic Treadwell-Collins, Laura Wade, Dare Aiyegbayo, Kefi Chadwick, Sophie Goodhart, Mimi Hare, Marek Horn, Clare Naylor, Tray Agyeman, Sorcha Kurien-Walsh
Novel: Jilly Cooper
Music: Jack Halama, Natalie Holt

Cast:
Tony Baddingham: David Tennant
Declan O’Hara: Aidan Turner
Rupert Campbell-Black: Alex Hassell
Freddie Jones: Danny Dyer
Seb Burrows: Milo Callaghan
Cameron Cook: Nafessa Williams
Sarah Stratton: Emily Atack
Paul Stratton: Rufus Jones
Valerie Jones: Lisa McGrillis
Lizzie Vereker: Katherine Parkinson
Mrs Makepiece: Wendy Albiston
Maud O’Hara: Victoria Smurfit
Monica Baddingham: Claire Rushbrook
Wayne Jones: Ryan Baker
Joyce Madden: Denise Black
“Dishy Daniel”: Timothy Blore
Gerard Middleton: Hubert Burton
Ginger Baines: Antony Byrne
Rev. Fergus Penny: David Calder
Caitlin O’Hara: Catriona Chandler
James Vereker: Oliver Chris
Deirdre Kilpatrick: Bryony Hannah
Brian Hetherington: Rich Keeble
Charles Fairburn: Gary Lamont
Sharon Jones: Georgia Mack
Taggie O’Hara: Bella Maclean
Bas Baddingham: Luke Pasqualino
Daysee Butler: Lara Peake
Johnny Friedlander: Adam Rothenberg
Lady Gwendolyn Godling: Maggie Steed
Steve Meadows: Dan Tetsell







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