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Teen Wolf: The Movie revamps Michael J Fox’s 1985 movie for the modern day…ish?
Fox played Scott Howard, whereas today, we get Tyler Posey as Scott McCall. I missed out on the Teen Wolf series which ran from 2011 to 2017, from which I see he starred in all 100 episodes. Technically, I have some catching up to do, but this new movie will hopefully still work for me, since the original was great fun back in the day, and naturally, Susan Ursitti was the best girl for Scott in the film, as Boof, since the geek will inherit the Earth.
Hang on, if Tyler was a ten wolf back in 2011, how can he still be a teenager in 2023? Mere details, I guess.
Also, this film is directed by Russell Mulcahy, and while we recently had a 4K boxset release for Highlander, I hope we get one, too, for Highlander 2: Renegade Edition, because that’s just as fantastic, and anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong.
I will have to say that I’m rather at a loss as to how to describe certain things, since I can only refer to a particular individual as weird and faceless, as he walks into a bar, asking repeatedly in a gruff voice, “When is a door not a door?” (the answer is “ajar“, as goes the riddle), since he’s looking for a special jar, made from the wood of a special tree, and there’s other bizarre stuff about it, but before long, wolves will show their teeth…
However, I can never hear myself think when I’m in a bar, because you’re not meant to think – you just walk in, politely ask for the drinks, take your seat, chat to your friends, and drink your drink. The bar area is not a place for long conversation. Plus, no-one will hear you, anyway.
Anyhoo, Scott – as The Alpha – is introduced when a collapsed building sees some kids trapped, but thanks to being a wolf, he has the strength to resolve the issue. At least with piercing red eyes, it’s a bit more of a normal transformation than the nonsense get-up Mr Fox had to wear in the ’80s.
As I said, I’ve never seen this series before, but I was quickly introduced to the fact that Allison Argent (Crystal Reed) is brown bread – and has been for 15 years – largely because her Dad, Chris (JR Bourne), tells us how he thinks she’s trying to tell him that she never ‘crossed over’ to the other side, and thinks a ritual will bring her back, even after all this time. Well, good luck with that, even though it appears to reference something called “Bardo”, and this isn’t even the one-hit-wonder from the early ’80s who entered the UK for Eurovision with One Step Closer.
But – and the trailer gets this across, so this isn’t a spoiler – by hook or by crook, Alison is back, and she has a bow and arrow. As to how she returns, I won’t say, (a) because it’s a spoiler, and (b) because I didn’t understand it.
Safety to say, when a doc says, “Her vitals are normal… for a woman who’s been dead for 15 years”. she’s clearly up and about as if she’s just had a power-nap, and is full of beans.
Elsewhere, Derek Hale (Tyler Hoechlin) wants to teach his brother, Eli (Vince Mattis), how to live with being a werewolf, despite the fact he passes out not from blood, but the sight of his own fangs.
And when I thought I saw Scott’s mother, Melissa (Melissa Ponzio), being in a rather undressed state after being a werewolf, demanding a bit of ‘How’s your father’ at the workplace, ensuring this film was definitely not trying to recreate a PG-rated movie, I thought – And she’s the MOTHER of Scott?! Erm… no, I think I mixed her up with Malia Tate (Shelley Hennig). Hey, it was a dark scene, like 90% of this movie!
Okay, so I see Teen Wolf: The Movie continues the series rather than attempting to remake the original movie, and it’ll probably make more sense to big fans of the series than it did to me, since there’s a load of supernatural stuff I didn’t really understand, and it all rambles on way too long at 140 minutes, which is about the same as three episodes of a series.
Also, sometimes the dialogue is a little muffled, so it’s a shame there’s no subtitles on the preview.
Thanks to our friends at Paramount+ for the screener prior to release.
Teen Wolf: The Movie is on Paramount+ from Thursday January 26th, but is not available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 140 minutes
Release date: January 26th 2023
Studio: Paramount+
Format: 2.00:1
Rating: 3/10
Director: Russell Mulcahy
Producers: Tyler Hoechlin, Tyler Posey, Blaine Williams
Screenplay: Jeff Davis
Story: Jeff Davis, Will Wallace, Joseph P Genier, Russell Mulcahy
Music: Dino Meneghin
Cast:
Scott McCall: Tyler Posey
Allison Argent: Crystal Reed
Lydia Martin: Holland Roden
Derek Hale: Tyler Hoechlin
Malia Tate: Shelley Hennig
Chris Argent: JR Bourne
Jackson Whittemore: Colton Haynes
Sheriff Stilinski: Linden Ashby
Melissa McCall: Melissa Ponzio
Deputy Parrish: Ryan Kelley
Dr. Alan Deaton: Seth Gilliam
Peter Hale: Ian Bohen
Liam Dunbar: Dylan Sprayberry
Coach Finstock: Orny Adams
Eli Hale: Vince Mattis
Hikari: Amy Workman
Harris: Adam Fristoe
Nogitsune: Aaron Hendry
Deputy Mason Hewitt: Khylin Rhambo
Victoria Argent: Eaddy Mays
Lieutenant Ibarra: Manuel Rafael Lozano
Raymond Delgado: Jesse Posey
Deputy Ishida: Nobi Nakanishi
Alicia: Chloe Bremer
Lydia’s Assistant: Carolina Montenegro
Coach Hogan: LB Fisher
Girl in Porsche: Ash Flowers
Beacon Hills Player #33: Mason Douglas
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.