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The Gorge is a huge, gaping chasm in the middle of somewhere classified, that even those who have to work there don’t know where they are.
Lithuanian-born Drasa (Anya Taylor-Joy – Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga) is an expert sniper in the East Tower, while yankee doodle Levi’s (Miles Teller – Top Gun: Maverick) stationed in the West Tower, but there’s no contact allowed between the two. Both are there to spend a year protecting the titular gorge.
We know there’s some sort of screeching oddity in there called the Hollow Men, and out of 2,400 men sent in – in the 1940s – to clean it all out, not a single one returned. Worse still, Levi can’t even seem to get some tomato ketchup for his steak!
Because he’s a nosey sod, he’s curious to find out who’s manning the other side, and then gets horny when he discovers it’s Anya Taylor-Joy. She’s similarly nosey, and starts a long chat via powerful binoculars and writing on bits of card.
Occasionally, whatever’s down there rears its ugly head, but just looks like World War Z mixed with a Clicker from The Last Of Us, i.e. men in rubber suits. However, when they have to deal with them, why does it take forever for the automated guns to kick in, as opposed to hoping these two individuals just happen to be awake at the right moment?
Plus, at one point, they’re playing chess against each other. Since they’re not meant to communicate, why would each of them have a two-player game, complete with all the pieces?
The trailer shows that they do meet at some point, but given that’s the case, why didn’t any other workers figure it out before then?!
There’s even a baddie that looks like a combination between Groot from Guardians Of The Galaxy and whatever that thing in the Avowed poster is. Plus, when the two pair up and have to do that thing when couples go back-to-back with rifles, it’s exactly like Mr And Mrs Smith from 20 years ago. In fact, that just about sums The Gorge up – it steals everyone else’s ideas and jumbles them up, doing nothing original, itself.
Add in Alien and others, and in fact, with some neat SFX at times, The Gorge would’ve been better served in videogame form, rather than a passive form of entertainment.
Anyhoo, rather than send marines down that way for their year-long tour of duty, wouldn’t it make more sense for the army to just bomb the fuck out of whatever’s down there, so no-one has to bother with it all again?
Oh, and…Good Lord, why is this in 2.00:1?! STOP MAKING FILMS IN THIS ASPECT RATIO! If it was to have received a cinema release, there is no cinema screen which fits the image!
The Gorge is on Apple TV+ from tomorrow. It’s not yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD. However, once announced, it will appear on the New DVD Blu-ray 3D and 4K releases UK list.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 128 minutes
Release date: February 14th 2025
Studio: Apple TV+
Aspect Ratio: 2.00:1
Rating: 3/10
Director: Scott Derrickson
Producers: C Robert Cargill, Sherryl Clark, Zach Dean, Scott Derrickson, David Ellison, Dana Goldberg, Gregory Goodman, Don Granger, Adam Kolbrenner
Screenplay: Zach Dean
Music: Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross
Cast:
Drasa: Anya Taylor-Joy
Levi: Miles Teller
Bartholomew: Sigourney Weaver
JD: Sope Dirisu
Erikas: William Houston
Black Ops Commander: Kobna Holdbrook-Smith
Bradford Shaw: James Marlowe
Airman: Julianna Kurokawa
WWII Scientist: Ruta Gedmintas
Crewman: Oliver Trevena
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.