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This weekend there are seven new films out for you to choose from: sci-fi fantasy in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, East End drama in Montana, great British drama in Still Life, the greatest film of all time in Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, a British ghost story The Singing Bird Will Come, farming drama (wow!) in At Any Price, and yawnsome romantic drama in The Face of Love.
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies is the final chapter in Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy, and was originally going to be subtitled “There and Back Again“, but “The Battle of the Five Armies” is a better title. Sounds more cool!
In this final part, deemed “The Defining Chapter“, obsessed above all else with his reclaimed treasure, Thorin sacrifices friendship and honor to hoard it as Bilbo’s frantic attempts to make him see reason drive the Hobbit towards a desperate and dangerous choice. But there are even greater dangers ahead. Unseen by any but Gandalf, the great enemy Sauron has sent forth legions of Orcs in a stealth attack upon the Lonely Mountain…
As darkness converges on their escalating conflict, the races of Dwarves, Elves and Men must decide – unite or be destroyed. Bilbo finds himself fighting for his life and the lives of his friends in the epic Battle of the Five Armies, as the future of Middle-earth hangs in the balance…
And while The Desolation of Smaug wasn’t quite as long as An Unexpected Journey, but both tipped over 160 minutes, the third film will last a mere 144 minutes.
Interestingly, while the first two films were in 2.35:1 for all formats, IMDB hints that the final part will also include some scenes opened up to 2.00:1 for IMAX 3D.
I’ve already got my ticket booked for the IMAX 3D screening at the Odeon next week, but the arrival of the final part of the Hobbit trilogy in the cinemas on about three million screens means that all of the other new releases are ones which will be lucky to find any screen time, but then again, out of those to come, there’s two British films worth watching plus, as well as a fwe films which are not only complete and utter rubbish but also films which are at least 1 or 2 years old, and so the studios have used this week as a dumping ground to offload their contractual obligations.
In fact, my local Odeon ONLY has the final Hobbit film showing out of all these new releases, with NONE of the others getting a look-in!
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Montana
In the mean streets of London’s East End, a former Serbian commando and a fourteen-year old boy plot revenge against a powerful crime lord and his ruthless lieutenants. As our heroes prepare to take on their enemies, the boy is mentored in the dark arts of assassination and learns the true meaning of friendship, honour and respect.
It stars Michelle Fairley, Adam Deacon, Ashley Walters, Kedar Williams-Stirling, Alexandra Weaver, plus Lars Mikkelsen (Borgen, Sherlock), and while it starts off pretty predictably and like every other flick with ‘da yoofs in da hood’ and their lingo, Lars Mikkelsen makes an appearance and it then heads into “interesting” territory, so it looks worth a watch, for him.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Still Life is – it says here – a poignant, quixotic tale of life, love and the afterlife. Meticulous and organized to the point of obsession, John May (Eddie Marsan) is a council worker charged with finding the next of kin of those who have died alone. When his department is downsized, John must up his efforts on his final case, taking him on a liberating journey that allows him to start living life at last.
Also starring the lovely Joanne Froggatt, plus Karen Drury and Andrew Buchan, while I doubt this will get chance to do big business in UK cinemas, it looks like a wonderful drama with comedic touches and I really want to see this.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast
Fun and talented animal fairy Fawn (Ginnifer Goodwin) believes you can’t judge a book by its cover, or an animal by its fangs, so she befriends a huge and mysterious creature known as the NeverBeast. While Tinkerbell (Mae Whitman) and her friends aren’t so sure about this scary addition to Pixie Hollow, the elite Scout Fairies set out to capture the monster before he destroys their home. Fawn must trust her heart and take a leap of faith if she hopes to rally the girls to save the NeverBeast.
As for whether it’s worth seeing do you really need to ask? Christopher Nolan and Peter Jackson step aside this Christmas, since Tinkerbell is where it’s at!
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
The Singing Bird Will Come tells the tale of a girl who is forced to return to her hometown from London after her mother’s death and the break-up of her relationship. Taking a job as a night cleaner in a restaurant, she is troubled by the appearance of the ghost of a girl who disappeared years ago. A mystery unfolds around her, putting her in danger of meeting the same fate.
The film stars Gillian Harker, Charles O’Neill, Lolliella Wilson, Aaron Jeffcoate, Hollie Burrows and Cara Middleton, but at no point did I feel any ghostly happenings. In fact, I nearly fell asleep.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
At Any Price
In the competitive world of modern agriculture, ambitious Henry Whipple wants his rebellious son Dean to help expand his family’s farming empire. However, Dean has his sights set on becoming a professional race car driver. When a high-stakes investigation into their business is exposed, father and son are pushed into an unexpected crisis that threatens the family’s entire livelihood.
Starring Dennis Quaid and Zac Efron, the fact this has taken 2 years to reach UK cinemas speaks volumes. It’s a tedious-looking drama which pushes every relationship cliche button there is, and then every cliche button about every other aspect of life. Avoid!
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
The Face of Love
Annette Bening plays a widow who falls for Ed Harris, a man who bears a striking resemblance to her late husband. And she moans about all this to the late Robin Williams. With such a syrupy pile of dross for a script, everyone on screen looks like they wish THEY were the person who was dead, and if you go and see this in the cinema, then you’ll most likely die of ennui.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.