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The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds And Snakes… yes, I think that’s the whole title, there’s nothing more to add – is the prequel to the original Hunger Games trilogy books, which resulted in two reasonable movies, followed by two tedious ones.
Tom Blyth takes the role of the 18-year-old Coriolanus Snow (huh-huh, huh-huh… he said anus) – portrayed by Donald Sutherland in the original series – who’s father is killed during the ‘Dark Days’, which pass by briefly for us, and aren’t explained as to why they’re dark.
Fast-forward to his present day, and in the first of three chapters, Part I: Mentor, he’s… yes, a mentor, and will coach Lucy Gray Baird from District 12, the chosen female candidate. I don’t remember this from the original films, unless I fell asleep during those. Either way, they clearly fancy each other.
Lucy’s played by Rachel Zegler, she’s also been chosen to portray the titular Snow White in next year’s movie, a character who’s so-named because “her skin is white as snow“… even though Ms Zegler is of Colombian descent. Then again, some of the seven dwarves are very tall, so if that’s not a parody, I don’t know what is.
However, this film does miss a trick to don the outfit and marry Cory at the same time, thus making her Snow Snow…
Now in the year of the 10th Hunger Games, their creator, Dean Casca Highbottom (Peter Dinklage – I Care A Lot), is first seen reading out all the names in numerical order of District, giving them names that don’t match what’s actually shown onscreen, except for Lucy’s, who is the only one that matches. Why?
Then we’re on to Part II: The Prize, where all the tributes are stuck in a cage like animals, prior to the games, which everyone will watch on 1980s-style TV sets, because it’s the year… whatever it is.
In this tenth year, ratings are down. Even still, they have a very threadbare set which only looks a bit skee-wiff in the trailer (rather than flat) because of something that’s happened prior to them starting, but I’ll leave that for you to discover.
In fact, I’m sure there was more to the actual games than is shown here, either for the set or methods of death. It just all seems so basic. Did I misremember the original movies? Here, everyone’s just going hammer and tongs at it.
Well, I had a quick look at the first two films, and after an hour or so, they begin the games, and they just continue on until the end. Here, Part I has an hour for build-up, but the games last about 30 minutes before it moves on to Part III: The Peacemaker for the rest, where Cory and best-friend and fellow mentor Sejanus Plinth (Josh Andreas Rivera) get jobs as… can you guess? Peacekeepers, although this segment feels like an hour-long epilogue which ultimately goes nowhere, other than throwing in plot elements which make zero sense.
Beyond that, the film just meanders along from start to finish, as well as throwing in a plant called Katniss, so there’s the connection back to the original movies. Yes, a plant. That’s it.
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds And Snakes runs for over two-and-a-half hours, doesn’t need to – when the games, themselves, last about 30 minutes, and is very violent for a 12-cert, although often, the impact of the killings are just off-screen.
I did wonder if this might spawn another set of films, if it does well at the box office. However, it’s took just over $112m in the first weekend – and then to almost $200m as the second weekend began, and author Suzanne Collins only wrote the one novel. So, that’s it. For now, at least.
There’s no post-credits scene, but once the final moment of the film proper occurs, the title appears – all flashy, like – and you hear…
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds And Snakes is in cinemas now, and is available to pre-order on 4K Blu-ray, Blu-ray and DVD, ahead of its release date TBA.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 158 minutes
Release date: November 17th 2023
Studio: Lionsgate UK
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 (ARRIRAW (4.5K); 1.90:1 (IMAX: some scenes)
Cinema: Odeon Trafford Centre
Rating: 1/10
Director: Francis Lawrence
Producers: Nina Jacobson, Francis Lawrence, Brad Simpson
Screenplay: Michael Lesslie, Michael Arndt
Novel: Suzanne Collins
Music: James Newton Howard
Cast:
Coriolanus Snow: Tom Blyth
Lucy Gray Baird: Rachel Zegler
Tigris: Hunter Schafer
Dr. Volumnia Gaul: Viola Davis
Dean Casca Highbottom: Peter Dinklage
Lucky Flickerman: Jason Schwartzman
Sejanus Plinth: Josh Andreas Rivera
Clemensia Dovecote: Ashley Liao
Persephone Price: Athena Strates
Gaius Breen: Joshua Kantara
Vipsania Sickle: Amelie Hoeferle
Domita Whimsiwick: Kaitlyn Akinpelumi
Hilarius Heavensbee: Florian Burgkart
Pliny Harrington: Ayomide Adegun
Apollo Ring: Aaron Finn Schultz
Festus Creed: Max Raphael
Urban Canville: Mekyas Mulugeta
Diana Ring: Emma Braggler
Dennis Fling: Yalany Marschner
Juno Phipps: Serena Oexle
Iphigenia Moss: Anni Baumann
Livia Cardew: Flora Li Thiemann
Young Coriolanus: Dexter Sol Ansell
Young Tigris: Rosa Gotzler
Lysistrata Vickers: Zoe Renee
Io Jasper: Seyna Sylla
Arachne Crane: Lilly Cooper
Felix Ravinstill: Aamer Husain
Palmyra Monty: Aminata Lucia Yade Toscano
Mrs. Plinth: Daniela Grubert
Strabo Plinth: Michael Greco
Facet: Tim Jenkner
Velvereen: Varvara Kanellakopoulou
Marcus: Jerome Lance
Coral: Mackenzie Lansing
Mizzen: Cooper Dillon
Treech: Hiroki Berrecloth
Lamina: Irene Bahm
Bobbin: Knox Gibson
Wovey: Sofia Sanchez
Brandy: Luna Kuse
Tanner: Kjell Brutscheidt
Reaper: Dimitri Abold
Dill: Luna Steeples
Jessup: Nick Benson
Mayor Lipp: Marc Aden Gray
Mayfair Lipp: Isobel Jesper Jones
Billy Taupe: Dakota Shapiro
Maude Ivory: Vaughan Reilly
Barb Azure: Honor Gillies
Tam Amber: Eike Onyambu
Boy at Zoo: Ghaith Saleh
Girl at Zoo: Riley Chung
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.