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This weekend there are eight new films out for you to choose from: sci-fi action in Tomorrowland, cartoon fun in Moomins on the Riviera, French thriller in The New Girlfriend, horror remake in Poltergeist, alleged comedy in The Cobbler, alleged thriller in Return To Sender, vampires attack in A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, and kids stuff in Dino Time.
Tomorrowland – also known as Tomorrowland: A World Beyond, not that it needs a title extension – is a forthcoming futuristic drama starring George Clooney, and this trailer really sets the scene – moreso than the teaser released last October, especially since I love films which involve time travel, although this looks like it’s just plain bizarre as to what’s going on.
Bound by a shared destiny, a bright, optimistic teen bursting with scientific curiosity and a former boy-genius inventor jaded by disillusionment embark on a danger-filled mission to unearth the secrets of an enigmatic place somewhere in time and space that exists in their collective memory as “Tomorrowland“.
Also starring Britt Robertson, Judy Greer, Kathryn Hahn and Hugh Laurie, and directed by Brad Bird (Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, Ratatouille, The Incredibles), this looks fascinating and I definitely want to see it.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Moomins on the Riviera
The Moomins, along with Little My and Snorkmaiden, had a sea journey that after storms and desert island dangers leads the family to Riviera, the place that takes their unity to the test…
It’s The Moomins! On the big screen!! YES!!!
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
The New Girlfriend is based on a Ruth Rendell novel, and centres around a young woman who makes a surprising discovery about the husband of her late best friend.
Starring Romain Duris, Anaïs Demoustier, Raphaël Personnaz, and with a script written by the director, François Ozon, there’s plenty of intrigue to this so it certainly looks to be worth a watch.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!
Poltergeist 2015 is a reboot of the original franchise, directed by Gil Kenan (Monster House, City of Ember) with Sam Raimi also throwing in a helping hand, bringing back the 30+-year-old tale about a family whose suburban home is invaded by angry spirits. When the terrifying apparitions escalate their attacks and take the youngest daughter, the family must come together to rescue her.
This time round, the parents are played by Sam Rockwell and Rosemarie DeWitt, with a male Catholic priest taking the role previously played by that tiny crazy lady.
Will it be any good? Are reboots of classic films ever? Not really.
Jared Harris co-stars and while Halloween would be a good time to release this, yet it’s clearly not Halloween. This new trailer also says how it’s in 3D, but it doesn’t look like it needs it. In fact, it just looks like a carbon copy of the original film!
Come on, Sam Rockwell – you’re better than this!!!
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
The Cobbler stars Adam Sandler as… a cobbler. For those not familiar with a term which dates back many centuries, a cobbler is a person who mends shoes. Yes, that’s something which is no longer required in our disposable culture because, unless you’re the type of person to spend £100 on Nike trainers, you can easily get a reasonable pair of trainers for around £15 from a shop like Matalan or Primark. Anything less for adult shoes, and they’ll fall apart within a month. Believe me, I’ve tried them and I know.
Anyhoo, putting facts aside, Sandler plays Max Simkin, and this shoe repair shop has been in his family for generations. Disenchanted with the grind of daily life, he stumbles upon a magical heirloom that allows him to step into the lives of his customers and see the world in a new way. Sometimes walking in another man’s shoes is the only way one can discover who they really are…
(cue video of someone vomiting)
Also getting in on this mess is Dan Stevens (The Guest, Downton Abbey), Dustin Hoffman, Steve Buscemi, Ellen Barkin and… “Method Man“.. sorry, Cliff “Method Man” Smith. Gotta get that name right yeah?
The Cobbler looks terrible, but director Thomas McCarthy also brought us the excellent 2003 comedy drama The Station Agent, so that conflicts me a bit, but overall…
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
Return To Sender stars Rosamund Pike as a nurse, living in small town who goes on a blind date with a man who is not the person he says he is.
The film also stars Rumer Willis, Shiloh Fernandez, Nick Nolte and Illeana Douglas and doesn’t yet have a UK release date, or one anywhere, for that matter. I wouldn’t rush to hope for a quick release, however, as it looks about as dull as Ms Pike’s acting ability.
It’s very telling that neither this nor The Cobbler are showing on the many screens at my local Odeon this coming week.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night
In the Iranian ghost-town Bad City, a place that reeks of death and loneliness, the townspeople are unaware they are being stalked by a lonesome vampire. Watching the trailer, it just looked way too bizarre to be of any use.
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
Dino Time
Three curious kids accidentally trip an egg-shaped time machine into operation and find themselves back 65 million years in the middle of a nest of dinosaur eggs. The first thing they see is a giant T-Rex staring down at them in happy wonder. They’re not food, they’re family! Now the kids have just until the real eggs hatch to find their way back to the present, facing other prehistoric monsters and dangers along the way.
Starring the voices of Melanie Griffith, Stephen Baldwin, Rob Schneider and the lovely Pamela Adlon from Louis CK’s sitcom, Louie, the fact that this film was released in late 2012 and has only just come to UK cinemas 2.5 years on is very telling…
Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.