Surf Ninjas

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Traveta reviews

Surf Ninjas
Distributed by
New Line Home Video

    Cover

  • Cert: PG
  • Cat.no: N5571
  • Running time: 87 minutes
  • Year: 1993
  • Pressing: 2002
  • Region(s): 1, NTSC
  • Chapters: 20
  • Sound: Dolby Digital 5.1
  • Languages: English
  • Subtitles: English
  • Widescreen: 1.85:1; Fullscreen: 4:3
  • 16:9-Enhanced: Yes
  • Macrovision: No
  • Disc Format: DVD 9
  • Price: $14.98
  • Extras:Theatrical Trailer, Pick That Flick Game

    Director:

      Neal Israel

Screenplay:

    Dan Gordon

Cast:

    Johnny: Ernie Reyes, Jr.
    Adam: Nicolas Crown
    Iggy: Ron Schneider
    Colonel Chi: Leslie Nielsen
    Zatch: Ernie Reyes, SR.

I know what you’re saying.Why is he reviewing such a low brow DVDrelease like Surf Ninjas that probably only sold one copy (which IREGRETABLY purchased)? Well I’ll tell you why. You want to know thereal meaning of DVD Fever? Nostalgia. Movies from yesteryears of goldenmemories, films that were always fun, and movies you did not scrutinizebefore adult hood. The moment you see these in stores you’re like “wow,I used to think that movie was great and now I can own it on somethingas cool as DVD!”

Well, I shelled out 15 bucks for this (then I saw itat Best Buy for 10 bucks, very ticked) and have discovered that notevery movie is as good as it used to be. Some can stand the test of time(i.e. the first two Turtle films) but this… let’s just say that ina 100 years, film historians aren’t going to be exactly trying torestore this and will cite it as an example of bad cinema. In fact, theDVD will probably be discontinued and never to see the light of dayagain.

Surf Ninjas has quite an amazing story (I hope you can detect the levelof sarcasm here because I’m going to lay it on pretty thick). I’ll sayit in the same manner of cheesiness the box does. Surf’s up dudes! Twoway cool California brothers are mondo wave riders and life’s just onebig beach. When a mysterious guy with a patch over his eye, Zatch, tellsthe dudes that they are really crowned princes from a far off island,the two are attacked by some gnarly ninjas with one goal: to kill thedudes!

Now the race is on as the two dudes, with their airhead friend Iggy, anda cop caught in the middle, must rescue their island from the evil gripof the crazy mean metal dude, Colonel Chi! Surf’s up, dudes!

You should read the back of the box, I was laughing so hard I actuallypulled a muscle in my stomach. Surf’s up and dudes is uttered at nauseumand we haven’t even got to the movie yet. I’ll start off by saying atleast ONE good thing about the movie and it’s enough to save it from 1star territory. The fights are actually done very well and are prettycool. Okay, let the ripping begin, I may be able to fill one paragraphwith complaints.

The acting is atrocious. You may remember Johnny as Kino from Turtles 2but he’s not all that bad, it’s cool to see him back in a movie but RobSchneider co-stars as a teenager and you can tell he’ll never mentionthis in his resume. Then there’s Leslie Nielsen as a villian! His faceis enclosed in metal by, get this, being crushed by an elephant! HA HA!I swear, this is what comedy’s made of! You keep waiting for him to dosomething funny but the best we get is a cheesy answer machine messageand him sharpening a blender! VERY bad move on his part.

If I were himand the script showed up on my door stop I would have buried it in alandfill at once. Then one of the brothers can see the future throughhis GameGear! Whoa, who are the ad wizards who came up with that one?The story is not paced well and even at 87 minutes I found myself quiterestless. Oh yeah, did I mention the acting?

Surf Ninjas is presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen with a 4:3transfer included as well. Despite the terrible movie, New Line has puta decent transfer on the disc. I was a bit disappointed with thistransfer after watching the excellent Turtles 2 and 3 presentations. Thepicture is bright and colored and all but there’s a level of dirtapplied that gives it an aged look. Dirt and scratches are seen a fewtimes but pixelization and edge enhancement is absent. Overall, prettygood but it could have been as good as the TMNT II and III discs.

Sound is presented in Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0 stereo surround. Nothingexciting or explosive to write home about here. But it suits the moviewell and you won’t have any problem with dialogue interlacing and such.

As with all of New Line’s recently released kiddie line (funny becausethe kids these movies were made for are grown up and can appreciateextras) a theatrical trailer and a lousy Pick That Flick game are all weget. While I could stomach the game on the TMNT discs, It’s officiallyreached the level of crap. The theatrical trailer is actually funny andharknens back to the days of cheesy promos. I REALLY wish we could havegotten some documentaries or something on the TMNT discs by the way.

Each of New Line’s kid flicks have 20 chapters. The packaging is amaray(NL has officially dropped the snapper case by the way) and is borderedin white just like the TMNT discs. If you find this in the store, readthe back for a gut busting good laugh.

Overall, I’m going to keep this film in my collection for it’s level ofcheesiness much like a horror film fan keeps a copy of Plan 9 From OuterSpace in theirs. This movie is so painfully bad now that I cannotreccommend it if you’re not a kid. Bad plot, bad script, and LeslieNielsen as a villian drag this down like a piece of lead tied to aballoon. The fever of nostalgia, what a terrible force.

FILM CONTENT
PICTURE QUALITY
SOUND QUALITY
EXTRAS


OVERALL
Review copyright © Traveta, 2002.

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