Bloods follows paramedics, who we first see providing CPR to a man on the banks of Canary Wharf, when a fist bump between Maleek (Samson Kayo – Death To 2020) and Darryl (Kevin Garry) leads to the latter being flung back through the air due to an electrical shock. Erm… really?
So, now without a partner, the former decides he’s going to run the ambulance on his own – completely implausible, and so is teamed up with Wendy (Jane Horrocks – The Singapore Grip).
Examples of the jokes include when the pair attend to Crackhead John (Dustin Demri-Burns), who’s told by Wendy how she’s “also easily addicted to things, like upcycling“, and how most of the best records were made by “druggies“, without any hint of irony. Yep, that’s about the level we’re dealing with.
Meanwhile, Jo (Lucy Punch) clearly has the hots for Lawrence (Julian Barratt), coming on to him whlst joking about the fact he went to the pub on his own over the weekend, only for him to reveal a tragedy he was commemorating. Yep, there’s cringe comedy in there, too.
However, there was at least one good line when Kareshma (Aasiya Shah) is asked by Jo, “Where do you see yourself in six months?”, to which comes the reply, “In your seat(!)”
Bloods is basically brief exchanges of a few sentences, following by a musical sting taking us into the next sketch. So, yes, it’s a series of sketches with not much in the way of continuity or story-building; and then just before the end credits, we get about two minutes’ worth of ‘next time’ clips, which don’t inspire me to check out more… but I still did so. My opinion did not change.
This series was due for release two months ago, but was put back to May 2021 for some reason. Whatever that was, it wasn’t in a bid to improve it. I got one laugh out of this. Did you manage more? Let me know.
Bloods is not yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD, but begins tomorrow night on Sky One at 10pm, and all episodes are online from day one.
Episodes 1 and 2 Score: 1/10
Director: William Sinclair
Producer: Seb Barwell
Creators: Samson Kayo, Nathan Byron
Writer: Nathan Byron
Wendy: Jane Horrocks
Maleek: Samson Kayo
Jo: Lucy Punch
Lawrence: Julian Barratt
Gary: Adrian Scarborough
Kareshma: Aasiya Shah
Darrell: Sam Campbell
Darryl: Kevin Garry
Kevin: Kiell Smith-Bynoe
Crackhead John: Dustin Demri-Burns
Obe: Leke Adebayo
Kid 1: Tyrell Morgan
Kid 2: Jacob Avery
Phil: Matthew Holness
Dr Bloom: Celine Abrahams
Nora: Cleo Sylvestre
Radio: Ellie White
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.