Fackham Hall, set in 1931, is the Downton Abbey spoof that no-one asked for, and with Jimmy Carr‘s name attached to it as the writer, even though there’s a total of FIVE people who put together this mess.
Billed as ‘Naked Gun meets Downton Abbey‘, although this year’s Naked Gun movie was one of the worst films, and unfunniest ‘comedies’ I’ve ever seen, that’s a low bar from which to start.
Perhaps the comparison was drawn because it has a number of sight gags, such as the mansion having rooms with bells to call the butlers – including the Masturbatorium, where the bell is rung furiously, the cooks downstairs preparing food, panning across them from one to the next, and finally over to one making a roll-up; the Butler Siri has replaced Butler Alexa, and all four of Lord Davenport’s (Damian Lewis – Dream Horse) sons have died as a result of a wank, so they only have a daughter left – Rose (Thomasin McKenzie – Eileen) – yet at 23, she’s considered far too old to spawn an heir.
Plus, with some stupidly old jokes that are included when Rose asks someone (I don’t care to remember who) does something bad, they’re asked, “How do you sleep at night?”, and the response comes, “By lying on my bed and closing my eyes”.
In each case, everything’s too obvious. You get the point, but you don’t really laugh at the joke. At best, a polite nod. There were one or two slight giggles – including some sight gags that do work, albeit daft ones, but for a 90-ish-minute film before the credits rolled, that’s a piss-poor do.
The really odd thing is that Jimmy Carr writes 250 new jokes for EVERY single tour he does. And he tours pretty much annually. But here, it’s just such lame shit, such as some crappy crude humour. Maybe Jimmy Carr laughed, as he does at his own jokes?
Even when you have an actress with the calibre of Anna Maxwell Martin (Unforgivable) giving a deadpan delivery of the script with some jokes in it, she doesn’t come across as being funny, just bored for being there.
And, for want of a plot, Rose meets and falls in love with Eric (Ben Radcliffe – Masters of the Air), and a ‘whodunit’ murder is thrown in, later on, to eek out the running time.
Overall, there are far worse films than Fackham Hall (“fuck ’em all”, geddit? Yes, we did, BEFORE the first time), but it’s entirely forgettable. Out of the 1300 people who’ve rated this on IMDB so far, I’m staggered that 113 people have given it 10/10! And how did it end up in the cinema? It doesn’t even have the quality of a streaming-only film!
Still, at least it’s 100 minutes shorter than Avatar: Fire And Ash!
NOTE: There are no mid- nor post-credits scenes.
Fackham Hall is in cinemas now, but isn’t yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD. However, once announced, it will appear on the New DVD Blu-ray 3D and 4K releases UK list.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 97 minutes
Release date: December 12th 2025
Studio: Entertainment Film
Aspect ratio: 2.39:1
Cinema: Odeon Trafford Centre
Rating: 2/10
Director: Jim O’Hanlon
Producers: Mila Cottray, Danny Perkins, Kris Thykier
Screenplay: Steve Dawson, Andrew Dawson, Tim Inman, Jimmy Carr, Patrick Carr
Music: David Arnold, Oli Julian
Cast:
Rose: Thomasin McKenzie
Eric: Ben Radcliffe
Lord Davenport: Damian Lewis
Lady Davenport: Katherine Waterston
Archibald: Tom Felton
Poppy: Emma Laird
Bert Chester: Adam Woodward
Rose Davenport: Hayley Mills (voice)
Fifi Valentine: Lily Knight
Mary Bechdel / Constance Bechdel: Erin Austen
Phyllis Davenport: Lizzie Hopley
JRR Tolkien: Jason Done
Darvesh Khalid: Ramon Tikaram
Great Aunt Bonaparte: Sue Johnston
Cyril: Tim McMullan
Mrs. McAllister: Anna Maxwell Martin
Patricia: Laurie Ogden
Mrs. Kitchen: Paula Wharton
Alexander: Nathan McMullen
Richard: James Stanley
Inspector Watt: Tom Goodman-Hill
Sister Jude: Karen Henthorn
Banker: Nicholas Hale
Karl: Lee Boardman
Bill: John Thomson
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.